disciplining toddlers

I think at two years old and four years old they are both ready and able to understand what's good and what's not. Maybe not the context of good and evil but of what's not to do and not to do like hitting. You onl;y have to make them aware that you don't like them fighting and you will be angry at them when they fight. I think a firm "NO" will do cause I don't like hitting.

I wouldn't consider 4 as being a toddler any more & if you choose to spank them as discipline, of course they will understand what it's for. Even at 2 they will associate the bad behaviour with the smack on the fingers & it will stop. If you tell them NO they will understand as well, so maybe you have just left it too long - you need to start young & if your 4 year old has NEVER been disciplined AT ALL then she will harder to discipline than the 2 yr old because you have allowed her to get away with everything & have no form of punishment for so long. I hope that didn't come out bad but with children, they need to be taught right from wrong as soon as they start touching things they shouldn't or doing things that could be dangerous - otherwise they just wont learn. Try starting with NO - praise or reward them if they listen to your 'NO' & if they choose not to listen, then take away something they are both using & do NOT give it back until they have settled down & behave. If you choose to spank, then if you catch them doing something they shouldn't (pulling hair) then a light flick on the fingers, plus NO will do the trick too! Good Luck!