had lost, but I feel a little lucky

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I could not control myself to send her a phone message to express my feelings. As a result, I knew her real thinkings which was that she felt in love to one boy, but not me. Yes, I had made sure that I had lost. However, I still felt a little lucky. Because the god does not let me lost everything. She becomes a friend who I can share my secery with her. However, I still feel upset.