Why People Change?
By sexyritch
@sexyritch (55)
United States
September 7, 2007 11:51pm CST
I ask to myself why some people can't stay as what He/ She is? I have my friend who married last month, she call and tell me that her husband is change a lot. Her husband is so nice when there not married, but its different now. He didn't allow her to make friends, to talk to anybody even there nieghbors. Why he do that to my friend? My friend needs our advise. Can you tell me what she need to do?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@MrPahn (173)
• Philippines
8 Sep 07
Changing is a part of this cruel world. Just like the saying. "One thing never change. It's changes"
Everyday there will be changes in your life. Your actions, or what so ever.
changing depends on its surrounding. jJust run along with the changes. It's fun!!
@sexyritch (55)
• United States
8 Sep 07
yeah, changing is depends on sorrounding, but this not a simple problem for her. She make it serious. She's not enjoy her married life for now.
@MrPahn (173)
• Philippines
9 Sep 07
Sorry, I was only on the question, changes..
'hmm, I guess his guy is a loser after all. Why would he turn out to be not nice after marraige. Okay, you are her friend, so you should know wheter his hubby have a problem or not first. If you are strong enough, you may consult his husband. Probably he just have some problems, because, he will not change just like that. Usually, it is financial problems that makes a head of the family mean, I believe you understand that. But with her case, if I try to think of it meanly, because of the reason that he doesn't want her girl to be with other people, 'hmm, something suspicious. The guy could have probably been seeing another girl,, hmm,, I know I am cruels with my comment, but that is how I see it :P
So you can try this first. Consult the guy. Trigger something suspicious. Well, dont be suspecious to much, because guys and girls do think differently. Now, try to ask other guys what does his movements means. Then make a conclusion. Now, if your conclusion is negative, fight the guy, that way he will speak up. If he fights back, you know what to do next. ^_^
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
8 Sep 07
This is a very alarming thing to read. I am involved with a women's shelter for battered women..and this is usually the first stage of a man wanting to control a woman...and cut her off from outside sources. Then they begin to put their partner's down..make them feel inadequate and unworthy of anything. If the cycle is allowed to continue these men will then start creating arguments and blaming their partners for making it happen...and if they are inclined when the wife protests they begin hitting them...then blaming them for it happening.
Now I am not saying that this will occur with your friend...so please don't tell her that...but what I would suggest is for you to watch for signs. Also I hope you will tell her not to allow him to cut her off from friends..and especially family. Encourage her to get to know her neighbors regardless of what he says. He is not her keeper...she has a right to live life on her own terms and it is very unhealthy for any man to control his wife in domineering ways like you are describing.
She needs to feel emotionally safe with you..her family...anyone that she can talk about how he is treating her. Even what he is doing in such a short time after being married...is scary to hear. Please make sure her family and other support systems are aware of this developing and potentially dangerous pattern. It can escalate out of control very quickly. No healthy marriage operates that way...so I hope when you read this you will help her to establish safe boundaries so her husband does not end up controlling ever aspect of her life and cutting her off from those who would stop it. If he is unwilling to give her tenderness, respect and freedom within their union..then maybe she married the wrong man. Better to find out sooner...than later.
@sexyritch (55)
• United States
8 Sep 07
Perspectives,
I will tell to my friend all your advise for her, you help her to be more strong, your advise is the best. Thank you very much, i appreciate.
1 person likes this
