self mutilation and aging

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Am I alone in this illness? Could I be the only woman who is out of her teens that still feels the desire to hurt herself when mental illness rears its ugly head? I hope not. I have lived inside bipolar disorder and skito effective dissorder for as long as I can remember. When I was a teen I would cut myself and just watch the cut bleed it would make me feel better. When the pressure in my head would get to the breaking point I would hurt myself because the physical pain was easier to deal with. I never could do anything about the mental stuff and then I got caught. I went into a treatment center willingly because I knew one day I would go to far and die. I could not do that to my family. Everyone said that it would get better as I got older but it has not. The only thing that keeps me from cutting is my daughter. I don't want my problems to be hers but I know if I did not have her that I would either be hurting myself or dead. Please tell me there are others out there like me and I don't have to hide and lie and say all is well when it is clearly not. If you would share your stories with me and maybe together we can come up with a way to make things a little better.