Friends?

Funny I should come across this discussion this week. With my first husband, that is a big NO. But with my 2nd ex-husband, I have actually been very helpful to her with how to deal with him in certain situations. When we realized we are better off as friends and he started dating he would have his girlfriends call me. Yes, I know that may sound weird. But I guess he figured if they weren't going to listen to him when he tried to tell them how he is, no one could tell them better than me. Some had problems with the fact that we are so close, like best friends, but the one he's dating now doesn't mind. And because she doesn't mind, I think they will be together for awhile, maybe not for marriage, but date for awhile. My ex-husband and I are so goofy together when we go out, and it throws people off when they hear us joke and say "...and that's why you're my ex-wife/husband". Thank you for posting this discussion, I really enjoyed it.

Well, I do not have any of that drama in my life, thank God. But, I do think that it is very muture of you and this other lady to decide to be friends, since there are children involved.

Hello moneyandgc, It is good for both of you. I don't see why both of you can't be friends. Furthermore, you are married too and there is nothing to feel jealous about. As for me, I think it will be hard to be just friends with my ex's new wife or partner. Unless if I have the same situation like you, that both of us are re-married, it will be easier. But again, I never experienced this and I just don't know whether I could face the truth or not *smiles*

I have never been in this situation myself but my brother-n-law has. he has remarried and so has his ex-wife. the only kids are my brother-n-laws and his ex-wifes. The main reason they fight is because his new wife dont know the boundaries of being a stepmom. she refers to herself as mommy to the kids and since she became a stepmom she knows everything there is to know about parenting. they fight because she bashes the kids real mom if she forgets anything. and in her eyes their real mom has know say over the situation. Im glad she loves the kids and is there for them. but at the end of the day she needs to realize that they are not her kids she shouldn't treat the kids real mom like shes nothing. I dont like it because she bashes her real mom for things that I do and you know what when you have kids 24/7 not just part of the time you tend to forget things. This girl use to be my best friend. now thats shes married she isn't the same person she acts like her husband. certain things that irritate me is when she dont have respect for the kids mom and to me referring to herself as mommy is disrespectful im sorry i have alot to say about there situation but because of how much i love this family i keep it to myself.

I think it is healthy to be friends with the new other. I am freinds with my ex's wife and her family. They never once looked at me as the enemy. This is where the resentment comes from. It would be wrong for my daughters parents not to get along. It was us that broke up but we did not stop being parents. To be a loving open person is better than to hold on to bitterness. Your current husbands ex probably still holds a torch for him and makes it imposible for her to want to be your friend. If you truely love someone you want what is best for them even if what is best is for you to be with other people. I grew up in a home where my parents hated eachother and when they finally divorced they hated the other people they remarried. My mom because my stepmother tried to tell her how to raise us when she had given her own kids to her ex husband and never had anything to do with raising them. My Dad because he still wanted my mom. My stepmother because she knew. This is not the way to live you can't be happy with hate in your heart. Congradulations on being a better person.

I've never really thought about it much til now. My situation is the opposite. My new husband and ex-husband got along great when my ex- came to visit our 2 boys. My ex-husband's spouse hates me beyond words and doesn't think much of the boys. However, I do have a story about my mother-in-law & father-in-law. They are great friends to this day. His family still thinks of her as a daughter and the same for her family. His girlfriend and my mother-in-law get along great even though they aren't best friends. I guess it just depends on the person, huh? I think that if my ex-'s spouse didn't see me as a threat to their relationship, then things would be alot different. She knows that I've moved on but still it irks her to know that I talk to him and that he talks to the boys.

After our divorce and after a little time my ex husband and I started getting along. He and my new husband even became friends. We did all sorts of things together, we went out to eat, went camping, he spent holidays with us, this went on for 8 years. Then his girlfriend moved in with her two boys. We have 2 children together and he has since pretty much alienated them. We wanted to get to know her and be friends with her too, seeing as how she would now be a part of my children's life. His girlfriend and now wife had told him that it was wrong to be friends with your ex. And that's where that ended, he started acting like a total jerk, and hasn't stopped, he even stopped paying child support because she told him that he didn't have to any more because he had her and her boys to take care of now. That has since been corrected, by a judge!

Well considering my ex (the father of my child) is now with someone who used to be my friend, and that he cheated on me with her for the better part of a year... Nope. Not friends with her. I want nothing to do with her and I don't want her anywhere near my son.