I've Learnt My Lesson
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
September 14, 2007 8:10am CST
After two bad relationships I've vowed that I would stay happily single for the rest of my life! I couldn't go through the last 9 years again EVER!
I much prefer to be single, I am happier single and relationships is a dirty word for me now. There is absolutely NOOOOOOOO way I'm getting into another relationship until my dying days!
Well last night I went out to 'enjoy' myself I went out on my own and yes I had some fun! Before I left they wanted to see me again and I said NO, do you know how difficult saying NO to someon is? But I was able to do it!
They wanted my telephone number and I said NO! They wanted to see me again I said NO!
I have learnt my lesson and finally I had the power, inner strength to say NO, no more.
They weren't very happy about it I told them I enjoyed the company and the fun which it was but that's it NO STRINGS!
Do you have trouble saying NO to someone face to face?
Or do you find it easier to say no over the phone or by text or is NO a dirty word?
8 people like this
18 responses
@ItTakesAllSorts (4096)
•
14 Sep 07
Its good to hear you have made this decision and feel confident now to do this.
But please never say never, who knows what is round the corner.
Now you have found this inner strength you may attract someone who admires these qualities and will treat you with the respect you deserve.
I hope your preparations are going well for your holiday, it is coming round very fast.
My thoughts are always with you Wolfie and its great to read this inner strength and power you have reclaimed into your life!!
Much respect to you xx
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
14 Sep 07
Every one through their life experience may take steps and decistions that suit them well. I do understand your hurt and I have also been through a lot of pain in my life but to tell you the truth I never would personally rule out anything because you never know there may be a good person that is your perfect match out there. O.K maybe at this point I would not go looking for it but I wouldn't COMPLETELY rule the idea out.Enjoy being single, that's great but if a good opportunity comes along don't reject it out right..Just a romantic sis talking lol, don't listen to me ahhaha..
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 Sep 07
Wolfie Sweetheart you know my Background and I do understand what you are saying I said the same and I now have the most wonderful Man I never thought I would meet yes I still get very insecure, which I shouldn't but I do and it is not his fault either as he could not treat me better then what he does,(even though I am a bit mad at him today) but Sweetheart you never know, you do know our famous saying 3rd time lucky, well it worked for me so I know it will work for you one Day, but for now I agree enjoy yourself and say NO lol to just passer bys
Big Hugs to you xx
PS It is making me sad with the time coming closer Sweetie for you to leave but I know it is what you want and need and I will miss you but please promise us that you will come back
@mummymo (23706)
•
17 Sep 07
I can say No if I need to honey - so good to see that you have managed to do the same and be more assertive! I still don't think you should let these 2 relationships make you decide to stay single for the rest of your life - after all isn't it meant to be 3rd time lucky? lol Oh well little brother I guess only time will tell but I do agree you need to give yourself time and space to just be single and have some fun until you decide that you have met the right person for you! I know you will tell me off for saying this but hey since when did that stop me speaking my mind? lol Hugs xxx
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
17 Sep 07
I recognized the patterns sis, I knew that I was looking for a knight in shining armour to rescue me that's what happened last time! The only knight is ME. I will take some precious times to lick my wounds and to heal and I can only do that being single xxxx
1 person likes this
@Naomi17 (624)
•
17 Sep 07
I think you've made a good decision for the time being i'm a romantic thou and believe there is a special person for you maybe you made wrong choices in the past your attracted to the wrong ones.When you meet the right person you will know trust me, in the meantime have a ball your free single and a lovely man x
1 person likes this
@aimsdg1024 (62)
• Philippines
30 Sep 07
it is not a sin to say NO.....Everybody are entitled to their own preferences and decisions but sometimes you have to break the rules....It may take some heartaches before you find someone deserving.As I read all your posting I find you as a nice person .... If you will not take it against me...."Enjoy" but be responsible... ok? good day..
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
I understand where you are coming. But people like me, happily committed for now, will definitely stay the way we are. If nothing bad happen.lol Yah, sometimes I found it hard to say no especially to someone so special to me.
@rima28star (41)
• India
15 Sep 07
it is very hard to say no to someone..
but if u have a determined will u can...
good for u dude...
@shootingstar67 (14)
• United States
15 Sep 07
I am not ever getting involved again either. This is how I ended up seeing three guys. They all come around, I say NO. This has been going on for ten years, the same three guys.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
15 Sep 07
If I’m not looking for anything- it’s easy to say no- I say no a lot to all kinds of people- not just in the relationship way. I think you have to have enough self- confidence to say no-
I’m glad you did--- and that you had fun- you so deserve it-
Don’t swear off relationships just yet- You will find your happy ending somewhere!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
14 Sep 07
Good for you Wolfie!
I get myself into these sort of pickles too. My last relationship was like that. Before I got with my ex I was happily single and had told myself I was better off by myself. But I became lonely and was starved of companionship and so, when I met this nice chappy, and had lots, in common and loads of fun, I decided to take the next step....only to find not so long after that I'd made a big mistake.
I'm in the same boat again. Happily content with my life but there is a person who insists on coming round to "torment me"...his words. Everything about this person is wrong. He wants to be my lover and it just cannot happen for several reasons. I really like him as a friend and he is the only person who comes to visit me at night when I'm alone and at my most content. He is the only one I care to have visit me too mind you. We are comfortable together. I know I should probably say "don't come over any more" but I just can't do it.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
15 Sep 07
You are doing the right thing. you need to say No to everyone now, in order to give time for your spirit to heal. I understand how you feel, about relationships right now and it is healthy for you.
But never say never! Some day you may meet the right person, but take it slow, friends are a great thing. Have lots of them. Be careful, someday you may meet the right person, you don't want to wreck that.
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
14 Sep 07
WELCOME to the club been there done that and as for saying NO!remember first to thine one self be true Its your life live it your way good luck!
@nancyrowina (3850)
•
15 Sep 07
I haven't been in that situation for a while now, but I usually gave them my phone number then just ignored their calls if i wasn't interested. I felt really bad about it as it was cowardly if it happens again I would probably say no now as it's actually kinder than stringing someone along.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Sometimes, wolfie, you just have to give yourself time to rebound from a bad relationship. Never is a long, long time, so you should not use that word. Things change on a daily basis, and your feelings will also change. Just trust that you will know when the time is right to begin a new relationship. I used to find it hard to say NO to almost everyone, but I learned. Believe me, with practice, you will get better and better at it.(:
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Oh, I am not good on this, I am such a people pleaser that I could not say no to someone and see them sad, now I have not answered my phone in hopes that they would go away, I know that is bad, but I hate to say no to people especially when they ask so nicely ...
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
14 Sep 07
Wow, you really are determined. I admire you, only a few people have the courage to say NO to those they talk to.
Actually, I have difficulty in saying it in some circumstances. Most of the times, I just nod and then leave. But I don't promise anything for them to expect, because I can never be sure of things.
I also am kind of irritated, annoyed, at people who are pursuant. So I just keep my mouth shut for the moment and look for an excuse to leave, then think of better things to do instead.
The word NO for me, is a word of surity and a word of honor.
@comeonmolly (828)
• China
14 Sep 07
Allow me to say my opinions,the days which is pat,you should not always think about you should niot make yourself indulged in these sorrows ,you also have your new l;ife,there are soooooooo many good things awaited for you,so why you also make yourself just in mermories,you have to face the real world.there is a quoate ,that is,if you cry for losing the sun,you will lose more stars.
I am a person who don't like to say No,b/c I think it is impolite,every time I will try my best,if my ability can't reach ,then I will say "NO',however,as long as there is a chance I will have a try,never say"no".
WISH you happy always!
