I'm feeling 'UNWANTED'

Same thing over here, my family does the same to me. Here it always have been like "You will never be as good as your brother, your brother is way smarter then you are" etc. But nowadays it's going better, although I hate my brother since he is still thinking he's the best. But yeah, it will keep with you for the rest for your life, that's the hard part. You'll have to live with it.

Have you ever experienced trying to get a right message across but it came out the wrong way because of the manner in which you conveyed it? I believe that sometimes our parents can really hurt us without really meaning to; it's usually leaning on the "for our sake," side than just being downright mean to us. I remember that time when I was awake 'til the wee hours of the morning and my mother sarcastically asked me "What are you doing that for? Are you going to be a writer?!" I was hurt that time but it never stopped me from writing. I realized that she was only concerned about my health because I've been losing sleep. I am yet to start compiling my works and put them up for publication and I know in my heart that my mother will be anything but sarcastic when I finally have it out. I personally think that we all love our parents -- and they, for sure, love us, too. As nobody among us is perfect but we are being perfected, with God's grace, it is through those "being put down" moments that we learn (subconsciously) how we should love: that if we say we love people, then we should only speak of what will uplift and encourage them, not of what will put them down; that we should let people feel that they are loved by being mild-mannered, patient, gentle and understanding towards them as oftenly as possible under any circumstance. Happy posting, quawertz! :)

Hi! quawertz Many of us have gone through the same situation you are not alone.Dont lose heart now that you are in a site with so many friends you will feel alot better after reading the responses.This is called the parental trap some of them are rigid and hostile.Parents are parents after all.This sort of comparing just happens i am sure your mom would not have meant to hurt you and would have felt bad for doing so though she may not have voiced it.For parents some outburst just happens and they tend to show it on the children .I got a message from my friend which gave me alot of consolation.I hope it works for you too. My oath to you When you are...I will dry your tears When you are scared..I will comfort you When you are worried ..I will give you hope When you are confused... I will help you cope And when you are lost..And cant see the light,I shall be your beacon ..shining ever so bright, This is my oath..I pledge till the end. why you may ask?..Because you're my FRIEND signed:GOD You will be fine.Take care.Cheer up my friend

yes i have not felt it.but others tell me they have . when i asked them the reason they say that since they don listen to thier near and dear ones they mark you up.they try to avoid your comments.its only when you fail after all these they come and hug you.very sad thing that can happen to any person in a family,make him feel at home always.very stupid thinking to do such things.we can easily make out if somebody is avoiding us.

I have the same experience too. But i think that most kids nowadays having the same problem. Although our parents do somethings that makes us shame, they still our parents. I think that maybe they just want to encourage us. Just we don't accept the way they do it. They want us to be the best just the way they show it maybe it's not accept or seen by us. Have a nice day! ^.^

Im so sorry ur feeling that way - but as a child of a mother than wasnt affectionate but for holidays :( - i can tell u i understand! we were called names growing up lazy and stupid as well :( i never let it bother me because for one the lazy part was true!! I HATED to do chores id do ANYTHING to ge out of them! lol .... BUT... My advice AS a MOM now that NEVER talks ill to or about her kids.. have u asked her to STOP?? sometimes we dont know were doing it! :( sad but true!! have u told her *mom, do u realize what ur saying to me and DOING to me with ur critisizm?? -- i can promise u she doesnt!! she thinks shes *helping* in a backwards way tho and may not KNOW herself HOW to be a better parent - she may not even KNOW HOW to be positive! uplifting and helpful as a MOM - shes only going by what she learned from her parents :( we dont get hand books ( i KNOW that now) lol but ask her, take her aside, tell her how u feel u HAVE to let her know how shes making u feel!! u cant go on with ur life that way! Im thankful to have a very open and trusting realthionship with my girls that i NEVER had with my mom ( i just knew what I DIDNT want to repeat from my parents) lol we talk together, do mom & me things together and seperatly and they can tell me anything and they do!! lol - im cherishing every second because it will change lol It may not be easy! but if u tell her how u feel and talk to her maybe that will make all the difference -- I HOPE! :) XX if not then u KNOW u tryed and u CANT beat urself up for what SHE is or does from there -- she is what she is! GOOD LUCK!! :) XXX

I don't know your background or what your mom could be thinking. I can tell you that I wouldn't call my child names. Well maybe a brat but not in a harmful way. It's my own fault if my child is a brat, right? Anyways, as a mother I'm sorry you feel put down like that. Have you tried doing extra stuff just to show mom that you try and that you're not lazy? I have to admit that my 20 year old is lazy in a sense that he has the same chores he's had for years and he "forgets" to do half of his 4 little chores. I think he just doesn't feel like it so he tries to slide by. Of course, I would only say this to my partner, or best friend. I wouldn't be putting it here if he were a Mylotter. Good luck to you.

I have had similar things happen. She didn't come right out and call me stupid or anything, but there were times when my parents had ways of saying or doing something to make me wonder about myself. Eventually I just stopped caring what anyone else thought of me, and I'd just do my own thing.

I love that idea, making mylot as your personal blog...fine if no one commented as long as you have burst out your anger or joy but even better if someone responded and show there deepest compassion. Like you I suffering to that kind of feeling too. Right now, as in right now I feel abit depress and left out. Just like you, the saddest part is I got this feeling from my significant others. I guess this is what they say that "blood doesn't make a family".

Thats sounds really bad. I dont really know how it would be but i do know that when some1 puts me down for no reason set them straight right away. I dont like to just take it and go. Especialy if its some1 close to me. I tell them right away that i dont like what they said to me. Then if they still have that same attitude i will just stop talking to them untill they come and ask for forgiveniss. So what im tring to tell you is to stand up for yourself. Speak up and dont take that stuff from any1.

I have a mom like that.She never cuts me a break with anything.I can't even breath.I find myself in arguements all the time with her no matter what it is.She always praise my daughter but never gives an ounce of credit for anything.

Well, did you ever figure out why she is doing that? Do you think she hates you? Well, I guess parents should not be like that. I understand how you feel because my father is like that too, but she did not make any humors or something, I just feel like he don't want me to be happy and that's way worst than your situation. Right? But, don't feel bad. Just go on with your life don't mind her. Make it that whatever she is saying will not affect as if you don't care. Because you won't happiness if you spend your life trying to please her, because she won't. Heheh, I am not a child, but i know how to get over it!

Hey use the sight how you want to. I can relate with me it is my Grandmother. The thing that gets me is how sweet she appears to other people. She is very careful not to say bad things to be in front of strangers or people she wants to meet. She has out and out lied about me to our family and the lies to me when they tell me what she's said. It is a shame that those closest to us can hurt us the most. Do what I do and fight when you can and when you can't just walk away it will be your mom who begs you to talk to her.

I can understand how you feel cos I was treated like that by my dad.