30 years ago I know my life was going to change

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Thirty years ago today I got up knowing when I went to bed that night my whole world would be changed forever. For today is was wedding. I had so much to do, it was a very small wedding, and it was not the wedding that I wanted. I wanted a wedding in a park with a potluck for the reception because we could not afford anything else. My going to be mother in-law would not hear of anything like that. She had to have everything proper; little did I know just how much influence she would have on my whole life until the day she passed on. We where getting married because we loved each other even though everyone said we where too young and it would not last. I was 18 years old and he was 22. I was pregnant with our first child, which 30 years ago was shameful. We had to face our parents that was very hard. My mom tried to get me to have an abortion because she said she resented me because I was going to make her a grandmother. My going to be mother in-law had to have proof of me being pregnant because she did not believe that I was pregnant and she did not believe that the baby was her son’s. At the age of 18 I did not have the strength to defend myself and I just wanted her to like me. I know how silly that was because I have not control if a person likes me or not. The morning of my wedding I got dressed in my wedding dress. It was not the traditional white dress. I felt I was not a virgin so I did not deserve a white dress, now I see how silly that thinking was. I know a lot of brides are not virgins when they get married. I did my own hair and my own makeup. There were no fancy beauty appointments, no acrylic nails there was not money for things like that. I did not want a veil or even a headpiece. My Grandmother and Grandfather picked me up and took me to the church. We got married in the local Catholic Church. We did go through classes before getting married per the Catholic religion. Once we got to the church I did not see my going to be husband. I got so scared thinking he might not show. When you think about it just how many brides are left at the church? I do not think there are that many and you guessed it I was not one of them. We had a simple ceremony we did not have a mass like a lot of Catholic Ceremonies. We did light a candle. The Priest who married us was a Catholic Priest who was a friend of my husband’s family. He is really cool and I fell in love with him right away. He is now a Monsignor of a Diocese on another town. He is well loved and well respected as a Monsignor and a religious leader; he is very modern with his thinking. Finally I had a new name and off the reception. We had around 50 people there mostly his side of the family. We had a nice dinner of a buffet, I was pregnant so I still got morning sickness and did not eat much. We did not have dancing or any other entertainment. We still celebrate our wedding anniversary every year at that restaurant. After the wedding and the reception we where off on your three day honeymoon to start to start our lives together.