Do you know what an inner child is?

My inner child is a bad person. lol I grew up in a really abusive situation, and I wound up with post-traumatic stress disorder. So I've been in therapy a lot throughout my life. I've never managed to become friends with my inner child. When doing those sorts of activities where you are supposed to meet your inner child, I only look at her with horror for how she looked at the world. I mean, I understand that my life at that time was a horror of abuse and neglect. And I understand that I was very ill for most of my childhood. So this kid had a heck of a lot to deal with. But she was also one of the most arrogant human beings I have ever met. She thought she knew everything about everything. She was the kid that gave teachers nervous breakdowns because she just wouldn't stop riding them about how stupid they were and how she was superior to them and how they might as well be killing their students because their inferior teaching was destroying the students' future. Seriously, she... well... I as a child, said things like that, regularly. I also said things like "Anyone dumber than me should die." and "You aren't worth existing because you're so stupid". I even know why I was like this, when I think about it. So many people argue in the defense of child abusers that they "don't know any better" so of course as a child I equated stupidity with evil. Still, the way I treated other people at that time, I can't make friends with someone like that. I just can't do it. The only thing about the "inner child" that I have found is her ability to survive despite all odds, and that is something I have carried through to my adult life. But for the most part, I think of her as Raskolnikov (for those who have read Crime and Punishment) and leave her there in her arrogance.