Honesty

if they do need my advise why not? if a friend wants to talk about something that's bothering him/her then that's the time to advise a win/win situation -peace:0

it depends on who im talking to. like my mother i can not give my honest opinion most times because she gets upset and argues with me or doesnt talk to me for afew days.. or tell me to mind my own business etc etc.. if she asks and i try to answer, i either tell her not to ask me questions she doesnt want to know the answers to or i just igfnore them or i will kindly suger coat my answer.. my sister the same way, i cant come out and say the honesty part either because she as well gets upsets and grumpy and then makes small remarks on occasion here and there about what ive said.. when its someone that really wants to know and i can tell them wihtout them getting upset i will.. come straight out and tell them.. other than that.. i dont answer or i beat around the bush as to say.

If one would ask my honest opinion, then I would be glad to lend a hand. Besides, I feel honored to be asked by someone about their problems. I don't see them as negative, because they atleast are having ways to solve their problems. So that for me, is a positive sign..

That depends. My husband, I say what I really want, tactfully, but what I really want to say. Most of my friends, I can say what i think as long as I'm nice about it. But I have one friend. It's her way or she blows up. I don't know how her husband stands her. I wouldn't say what I really want to her.

I'd rather be honest and subjective with my opinion on their problem. Because I believe that a person will not come to me and open up his/ her problem if he or she does not trust me or believe that I can help them or enlighten them on their problem. So that person needs to know the truth and a direct or subjective answer as much as possible.

I usually speak what I have in mind. For some cases, I might prefer not too frank and open as sometimes it will lead to another trouble. Hmmm... It's difficult and tough when you meet a difficult problems. Honesty is needed, but sometimes honesty can bring something bad. Especially when your honesty is something that's not supposed to be said. I think all of us should look at the situation and think before we say something. Don't say anything that will make us regret or not saying anything that will make us bite our tounge... :)

My Mum taught me never to give an opinion when asked advice. Instead you give the alternatives and ask them what the result would be of each alternative. For example when I was thinking of quitting my job I asked Mum what I should do and she asked me what would happen if I quit and what would happen if I didn't quit and then let me make up my own mind about what I should do. After I did quit she told me that she was glad I did but ultimately the decision was mine not hers so she couldn't be blamed if I made the wrong decision.

LOL I am not one for biting my tongue AT ALL...that doesnt mean I'm cruel mind you but I see no benefit in candycoating something for someone when they come to me for advice or my opinion on an issue they are having....To me thats NOT helpful ya know....Tell it like it is and give honest suggestions, thats my way of doing it and truth be told my friends appreciate it..though they admit the "truth hurts" they'd much rather come to me and have me be honest with them over goin to someone else and get b.s as a response ya know...

I think that opinion should have limits of the person who has said. In my point of view the opinion could be change after some time or somr momrnts also! So when one is talking about the his / her problem one should not provide the opinion but should provide the analytical as well as well-thought reply, with could be possiblly lead the person to take decission regarding the problem solving process! Well while any one is following this, s/he has to be honest and present/ consider all possible things regarding the problem/ issue!

It depends on who you are talking to. I would say that in the majority of cases I bite my tongue. I have found that people say they want honesty, but even if you give it to them in the form of constructive criticism, they resent it. What they seem to want is reassurance, not honesty.

I usually give my honest opinion in a very nice way, considering that person's feelings... but if I think my opinion won't help for the current situation then I prefer to just lend her my ear to listen.

No, that is not a problem for me...most of the time. Now there is a caveat to how honest I will be...and that depends on whether they have asked me or not. I try not to volunteer unsolicited advice. In the work my hubby and I do as life coaches and group leaders sometimes people do not want to hear what we suggest...even if they pay us to offer it! Now that may sound strange...but there are times when people want to keep their trauma and drama in place because it feeds something within them for a time. Whenever I realize that they are not ready to change...or simply want an attentive ear without any problem solving input...I will just listen and yes, bite my tongue. It is the most honoring thing to do because we cannot change anyone...they can only change themselves when they feel ready to do so. However, by and large if people ask my opinion...then I cannot in a clear conscience not give them an honest opinion. People who know me say that if they don't want my opinion they won't ask me...because I will tell them what I truly think...and if they don't like it...well that really is their issue; not mine. When we ask anyone to offer input it is rather dishonoring to them if there is annoyance for them doing the very thing requested of them. The interesting thing about interpersonal relating is that one never knows what another is ready to handle..or how feedback will be perceived. It can be risky to speak the truth...but so can avoiding it as well. I think is is important to communicate as authentically as possible...in a respectful way and give people a chance to handle their 'stuff.' If we don't offer things we'll never know what they are capable of. So after all my ramblings...my short answer is yes...I try to talk openly and give people my honest opinion when they ask. Good discussion alamode...it is something many struggle with. I;ll check back to read what others think...and you were rated a plus..of course! Warm regards, Raia

Well its depend the setuation if I know the person or my family I will give my honest opinion! but if other I have a hard time.

Hey Alamode (big wink...:) I find myself biting my tongue and not saying what I really want more often than I'd like. Of course it depends on who is telling me their problems. I try to give an honest opinion.... sugar coated with some. But with others? It just creates havoc, better to remain silent, even it means biting my tongue in half! Any clues on how to get over 'tongue biting syndrome'?

of course i will only give honest opinion..When people talks about their problems with you,i assume that they would like to hear the honest advise from the listener.So what is the point holding back your tongue?Unless...if i can sense that the seeker is not someone who can take honest words easily,i will just play my words careful ..and not to hurt or offended his feelings.

I generally do give my honest opinion. I mean, if they're tellin gyou their problems, it obviously means they want some sort of guidance so I tell them what I think. for example, in the last 2 days I've had to give 2 girls advice about their ex boyfriends., I'm sure it's not what they wanted to hear but I said it anyway. And they both thanked me for my 'different' approach. SO yes, I like to be honest when giving advice.

i guess u shld talk to ppl only when u can really give them ur honest opinion,else u shuld just shush cuz if u cant do that u wont be really helpin out a person,,but u might end up puttin him in more trouble than he already was in thnx and tc

I'm pretty honest I'm the kind of person where if you don't want the truth don't ask me. I don't like offending anyone and I don't set out to do it but I am honest and sometimes people can't handle it.

Sometimes I can be completely honest and sometimes I need to bite my tongue. It depends on who I'm talking to and what I'm talking about. I know some people who if I am honest with them it just causes problems. They don't want to hear the truth unless you are agreeing with them. So I do alot of biting my tongue around them.

honesty is very good