What if your friend decides to cool off and stay silent for many years?
By michecu
@michecu (637)
Philippines
September 18, 2007 3:47am CST
She's part of our circle of friends. Suddenly she drops out without any reason and you can not think of any reason why...there were no arguments, you get along well, for you she's still part of the group. And yet, she doesn't respond to your text messages, emails and IMs. You see her online, so you decided to IM here but instead of a reply she signs off.
It's very disappointing. It's just happened to me right now. I don't know how to handle it. I know our other friends have noticed the same about her. And for many years, we simply respected her choice to cool off. But now i think, it's taking too long to heal whatever made her decide to drop from the group. Though the group do not meet as often as before, but we keep in touch in email and Friendster. It would be a great surprise for the group if she make a hi or hello even if its just in email. We are not expecting each one of us to be physically present to each other but at least have the thought to communicate, that's a lot.
It's just that, we simply could not let her go...She's an important part of the group because she used to be the one who keeps us together before. And now we miss her a lot.
2 people like this
5 responses
@meanangel (167)
• United States
18 Sep 07
There are many reason's someone would cut off comunication and for the most part I would bet it has nothing to do with you as friends. Just speaking from personal experience when I loose touch with people it is usualy because of major events happing out side of the friendships I cool off on. I know when my bi-polar and OCD act up I am too ashamed to admit to my friends the problems that I am having so I just shut down. the best thing I can advise you to do is make contact one last time letting her know you will be around when she needs you all she has to do is say hi. Then be cool right back, stay in contact with your other friends and maybe when the time is right she will get in touch.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Maybe she is depressed or having many problems in her life at the time and just didn't feel right about getting involved int he group again because maybe she thought you might be angry with her. Maybe you could try calling or emailing her and see how she reacts. Sometimes they might welcome that and be happy to hear from you. It is a shame to lose a friend over miscommunication.
2 people like this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
I have seen this happen in my high school as well as college gang. Some of those friends I haven't seen or heard from for a long time now. But I bet if I try to get in touch with them, they will reply.
In your case she signs off when you IM her. That's something else! She's really trying to avoid you.
What kind of activities do you do as a group? Maybe she doesn't like it anymore.
Or maybe there are some major things going on with her life, issues that she needs to take care of, that she just wants to be left alone right now.
People change in terms of priorities. Maybe she realized that her priorities in life are no longer the same as her friends'.
1 person likes this
@michecu (637)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
Hi!!! Allow me this opportunity to thank everyone who answered this post. I now understand that perhaps my friend is undergoing some issues in her life and wants some space. I respect her decision. I think the best I can do is to be open to her all the time and welcome her if she decides to come back. I'm sure whatever reason she has, it has nothing to with our friendship. I'll just keep praying that she'll be back sooner or later.
@elshaddai123 (3981)
• Kottayam, India
10 Oct 07
it is sad situation, but let her common sense work let us wait eagerly.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
1 Oct 07
Hi,
We all get bad if our close friends behave like that. Any how I hope as a friend we have solve it out in better positive way either we have know the reason. Some we should solve it with others good friends involvement. Unless we know the reason we have to be sincere to friends.
