Do you think LOVE is a choice, or do you think it's possible to "fall" in LOVE?
By nikkiwith
@nikkiwith (1074)
Australia
11 responses
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
21 May 08
But your heart just pumps blood around your body, it's our heads that make the choices. I believe if we have complete control over our thoughts and feelings then we can find a love that is right for us, one that's not dysfunctional
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Sep 07
I believe in falling in love. I believe love hits you like a semi. I believe it knocks you off your feet and carries you heart away... but perhaps I am too much of a romantic. =p
Though I believe that falling in love is not a choice, I do believe that what you do about that love is a choice. I believe that you CAN fall in love and not pursue it, if it's not the best for you, or for the other person, or there are other circumstances.
I have left someone I was in love with before, because the relationship I had with them wasn't healthy. That doesn't mean that I wasn't in love with her, just that I chose to do what was best for myself (and for her in the long run).
As far as lust goes, I could lust after 5 people I see in a day, but that doesn't mean I would pursue a relationship with any of them. I don't think many people pursue relationships just based on lust. I think either you fall in love, or you choose to be with someone because you think it will make you happy and hope you will fall in love at some point.
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
22 Sep 07
I believe you can control your feelings. If you let them control you then you are an unhealthy person. I have only ever fallen for guys who hurt me and that's because i am not listening to my head, i have been letting my feelings control me. We all want instant satisfaction but usually the outcome is heartbreaking.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
19 Sep 07
when head work over heart its a choice.
When heart is over head its that we fall in love.
Its a complicated thing and depends on choice and chance all the same.
Its true one has the control to accept someone or not.
I did this by declining one.
That time i listened to my head.
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
22 Sep 07
When you let your feelings control you over your head, then it becomes an unhealthy love. Feelings and head should work together.
@MisterPlus (1915)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
Falling in love is an instant feeling of longing towards a person. Physically attracted to the person is another thing. It is important to be physically attracted to the person you love. Love is giving. Attracted physically is another thing. You can let go a person if you really love them but with lust you want to get everything form that person.
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
22 Sep 07
I believe there are a lot of different kinds of love; the unconditional love you have for you relatives, an intense love that you feel for a partner, an unhealthy love that hurts and is not stable, and a healthy love that involves trust, communication, room for growth and it involves the "you", "me" and "us", not just the "us" where you tend to lose yourself.
@sr0415 (1140)
• Philippines
19 Sep 07
Hi nikkiwith! :) In my own opinion, love is a matter of choice. Staying in a relationship and accepting the person is your own choice. Usually, when you CHOOSE to be with the person and the other person also CHOOSE to be with you - then, this develops lasting relationship. And I believe that it is love that motivates them to be with each other. :)
Take care always and God bless!
@yaoyao2007 (3)
• China
19 Sep 07
Sometimes we fall in love.Sometimes we fall in lust.
Both of them are love.We can't to say which one is healthy,which one is not healthy.This is individual choice.But,the lasting love utterly don't base on lust.This is my opinion.And my choice is the one base on feeling.
What is your choice?
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
22 Sep 07
I think we can say which is healthy, because a healthy love is unconditional, it involves trust, communication and room for the "me", "you" and "us". Love doesn't betray, it doesn't make you lose yourself and it doesn't hurt you.
@blademaiden (734)
• Romania
17 Jul 08
It is a tricky subject. Maybe I am just crazy, but unless I feel that certain something upon first eye contact, I can't go anywhere with it. Then when I feel my insides turning when I see someone that I feel positive energy from, I become obsessed...
@busta1baby (1230)
• United States
19 May 08
yes u can fall in love i think...u always will know wen u love someone...cuz ud do any and everything for them to make them happy..
@Power_of_Ganda (217)
• Philippines
23 May 08
Yes healthy love is a choice that you are going to do something to make it healthy. For example you are not going to make some things that can cause miserable relationship, if you have problems you will have to solve it. Or maybe LOVE in general sense could be healthy rather than hating a person that you really dislike.
Speaking about LUST that is easy to fall it depends upon the person on how he feels of it. I mean if he is a typical nympho maniac it could be easy for him to attract on a sexy girl. He will give more importance to the body rather than falling in love to a person. OR it could be regardless of LOVE.
@shintongs23 (537)
• Philippines
27 Jul 08
I agree with the article you have read. Love is really a choice. First and foremost, you can not fall in love in a person if you did not choose to like or love him. Choosing someone to fall on to is the first step in falling in love. Love is managed by human logic since it is based on feelings or emotion. The brain is the one in-charge of that feeling. Lust is different. It is the body that supervises our lust though sometimes it passes through our thinking.
