chores

I have the same problem with my boys. You could try the punishment/reward route but in my experience kids tend to decide that they'd rather do without the playstation/tv etc. and that the promised reward isn't so great once it has to be earned. A more general "pocket money has to be earned" strategy may work better. To stop yourself getting stressed out, you need to start with chores that aren't particularly time sensitive. I'd spend so long trying to get my son to empty the dishwasher, I'd have to do it myself because dirty dishes were getting out of control. Once they get into a routine of doing something, it's easier to add other chores, but only if there is an element of fairness. If you've got 3 kids, make sure all of them have roughly equal responsibility, on a rota basis, allowing for age only if it genuinely can't be done. Even very young children can take some responsibility and it makes it easier to step up to useful tasks when they are older.

What are your kids ages...you can reward them or withhold priviledges. We need more info.

I've been there before. It's like my requests fell on deaf ears. Don't worry, just don't let up, do give up, just keep repeating to them that it is for their own good. A few months ago I also asked my children to help me out with the house chores. And as expected they won't do it. I screamed, shout cry at them still no use. Then I said to myself that this can't be. They have to learn it otherwise their life will be miserable when they have kids of their own, but I never punished them for it. After that I did not scream or shout at them any more, what I did was to talk to them level headed as if they are also adults and not children. I stopped talking and just tell them to do it because it has to be done. I did not give up until little by little they got a hang of it. Now there are things that they do on their own already like my eldest daughter washes her own clothes now. The younger ones would automatically sweep the floor when they get home from school. Though they still don't do all of the things and some things still needed prodding, but when they see me serious with other household chores they know that they have to help. I know in time they'll see it's importance, you'll get there. God Bless.

I had sort of a problem with that myself and sometimes still do. My kids would not want to complete simple house work and expected to get rewarded and I explained to them that if they would complete their chores without me telling them and not complain about doing it then they may or may not be rewarded. I also told them that no matter what they should know that they should do them because they are supposed to and not just because they want a reward. Let them know that if they can't do what u ask them to do that you can't do what they want you to do. Punishment is the best thing to do whenever you want to show your kids that what they are not doing is what is causing them to be punished. Try taking away priviledges for example if they have a outing coming up like a sleepover or something tell them that they will not be going if they have not completed their chores. That should get the ball rolling and more than likely they will understand that doing house work is give and take.

I know exactly what you are talking about because it is impossible to get my kids to do their chores. When they want something they know how to ask right away, and think we must give to them when they say give, or do for them when they say do, but let us ask to get their work done and it is either wait, later, or never ! I find sometimes it works by either punishment, or not to give or do when they ask. Only sometimes that is. It is harder work on the parents trying to get them to do it, but we have to or they will never learn to do anything on their own !

I have 4 young kids but it is only the eldest who is 8 that is old enough to help out around the house. I got him a large money box and everyday he helps me around the house. He can load/unload the dishwasher, dust, he sets the table for dinner, and a lot more. When he helps I give him some money for his tin, somedays it may only be 75c to 1.00, some days he goes into a helpful frenzy especially if he wants to save for something that he wants then he could get up to 5.00. But I think that this is a good idea as it teaches him the value of money too, and he doesnt ask for things all the time, and he looks after and appreciates what he has a lot more too.

You haven't said how old your kids are. I have had people on my case for years because my kids weren't helping with the dishes. At 11 and 14 they are old enough to help. While my husband was away this summer I decided I wasn't cooking, but my kids continued to eat all day long and make a major mess of my kitchen. I even took a picture of it and posted it on here. So my daughter - yes, my daughter - drew up a dishwashing chart. Mom and Dad are on there as well so the kids don't feel like they are doing all the work. We take turns washing the dishes and it has been working very well. My younger daughter offered to take the garbage out on garbage day so she has been doing it. The only other thing I ask of them is that they put their clean laundry away after I pile it in their room on a chair or somewhere. My kids have homework, paper route, Taekwondo, soccer, basketball... they have a lot of activities that keep them busy and if they have homework, that is a priority. If they miss their dishwashing day their box is left blank and the next person does it and checks of their box. So we don't always go in order - sometimes I am way ahead of everyone else - but they are actually helping out and looking forward to it. Something else my daughter pointed out to me one night when she was washing dishes. I was in the kitchen with her putting leftover dinner away and then started to dry the dishes. We were joking around and having a lot of fun. I said to her, "See? Isn't doing dishes fun?" She said, "Yeah, when there is someone in here with me." If you saw my discussion on "fun with my girls" you will see that a dishwashing experience turned into a tea towel smacking war that carried out into the street. If you can make the chores fun for the kids (and Supernanny agrees) than it will be easier to get them to do them. And don't overwhelm them with too many chores.

Suggestion: Maybe set up a point system. For every chore they do they get a star on a chart, and put various prizes (that they would love) as their rewards. Then have a super prize like an outing to a water park or theme park or something BIG. my uncle tried this and it totally worked. Especially if you have more than 1 child they get competitive!!