Should I give up on someone's health?
By gmakesmoney
@gmakesmoney (2923)
United States
September 21, 2007 11:36pm CST
So recently I've posted asking for tips on Type 2 Diabeties. My mother was diagnosed a little over a week ago. Since then I have tried to cut the things that she cannot have out of my diet as well, we live together so I don't think it's fair if I'm sitting there eating those things while she can't have them. I've sent her sites with recipes that all look great and asked her to print them at work for me (our home printer and pc refuse to work together thanks to Dell) and she hasn't done that. I even gave up on baking my fave chocolate cake when I really, really needed (ladies u know what I mean) it because I didn't want to be mean. I switched everything to Splenda and cooked healthier meals. The entire time she has be rather reluctant to change anything, shopping with her was a nightmare. Well last night she comes home with this appetizer sampler from O'Charly's that she'd eaten for lunch... breaded chicken strips, breaded cheese jalapeno poppers, and stuffed potato skins. Ok. Today she comes home early with a box of cake donuts and then tells me how for breakfast she had two glazed donuts and then a griddlecake sausage sandwhich for lunch. Oh yeah and hamburgers for dinner. She said "I was hungry" with this little laugh like it was just oh so funny. Everytime I bring up the subject of eating healthy she acts like I'm doing it because I think it's fun. I got so upset that I said "fine, be selfish, I don't care anymore." I'm at my rope's end with her. Not only is she diabetic but has high (very) blood pressure and circulation problems and is already at least 50lbs overweight which with her conditions is a lot. What makes me angry is that she won't even help me out with HER health or appreciate anything that I've researched or tried to do to help her out. She doesn't care about her health. I don't know if it's because she's scared or if she really just doesn't give a sh#t anymore. She also thought it would be cool to try and force me into a cleaning job that I don't want to take (I've got the world's worst allergies and to chemicals so why on earth would I want to go play with them?)... but that's a totally different subject.
So my question is, if this were your mother; would you give up on her health? I'm getting up early tomorrow and making french toast with real sugar and syrup on the cinnabon bread she bought with sausage and eggs then I'm baking that butter recipe chocolate fudge cake with the whipped chocolate frosting that I've been wanting. At this point I'm like F--- it!
5 people like this
9 responses
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
22 Sep 07
Well, I think because you are depriving yourself of the food you love and you are ready to change the life style with your mom, when you see that she is not changing, you are more frustrated. I think you should have your food when you want to and explain to her you are actually want her to live healthier. If she doesn't listen, then there is nothing you can do. It really takes the person to change, I don't think others could force her to if she doesn't want it.
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
22 Sep 07
Yes some people are like that! But don't be frustrated! Have a sweet talk and pour your thoughts and how important she is to and see how it goes. I totally understand your frustration! Have a chocolate cake before talking with her, hon.
@myahw20 (1115)
• Canada
22 Sep 07
in my opinion. one should never lose hope in anything...sometimes..something beyond human powers and medical technologies we forget that there is a God who might make her health better...
maybe for your mom...she is giving up on herself though...right now she just wanna enjoy life which is also not so wrong..how about making a fun deal with her..if she resists eating sweets for a week buy her sumthng nice..hehe..like little rewards..we know parents use to do that to us when we were little kids wight?..so that's my opinion..
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I agree, hope should be something we never loose sight of. I have tried to reward her, in fact this weekend we were going to make a cake together but from Splenda so that it would be yummy but not bad for her if she could go all week eating healthy. All she had was one more day to go. She gets in these moods that make me understand how my grandmother must have felt raising her all those years ago. It's like I want to put her in time out and say "no TV for a week!"
2 people like this
@pendragon (3348)
• United States
23 Sep 07
She is most likely in denial, and scared.If something doesnt have an immediate reaction on you (I'm diabetic) it's easy to disbelieve and push the bill.Maybe leave lots of literature about complications around where she is, buy the healthy food anyways, it's good for you too, and don't worry about what you eat in front of her, i hate when people deny themselves in front of me beause of me.It definitely sounds like you can give her the education that she needs, he def doesnt want to be a type 1.Please don't stop caring for her, she needs a kick in the karma.
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
27 Sep 07
Your mother is not going to change unless she is ready to change. She may be in denial that she has diabetes. I have seen this in a lot of newly diagnosised diabiates. She will only change when she is ready and not before nagging her will only turn her to eat the bad stuff more if she is a stress eater like me.
I think the best thing to do is help her with he blood sugar checks, keep only good stuff in the house unless she brings it in and do not eat it. You might through it away or tell her if she brings it in the house you will throw it away. I feel by nagging her it will be the worst thing.
I feel by keeping yourself healthy is the best way, if your mom has diabetes then you are prone to get it and your son. Lay down good eating habbits for you and your son maybe some of it will spill over on your mom. Good luck
1 person likes this
@nmhschic2004 (1238)
• United States
23 Sep 07
No i dont think i would give up on her if she was my mother. Im sure i would get very frustrated like you are right now. And thats very understandable. Maybe you can talk to her doctor and see if he can help her to understand the seriousness. People changing their diets is a very hard thing for them to do. My aunt found out about a year ago and she stuck to her diet for a while. But eventually she got tired of and went back to eating whatever she wanted. Just have some patience and try to stick it out with your mom. But i dont think that you should completely deprive yourself either. I know i wouldnt be able to.
1 person likes this
@terrych (1227)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I know you do not like the way your mom is acting, but I think you should keep with the healthy life. Because you have to understand that diabetes it is more then have high levels of sugar, I do not know how that works but I guess affect the behavior of the person who has the disease, they can not help themselves, they feel like they need that sugar, they can not stop, and there is when your mom need your help!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
22 Sep 07
My mom was totally in denial about diabetes, and would not change anything. I work with a very healthy person, former athlete, then a coach, and she became gestationally diabetic, and it never went away, she had wide blood sugar swings. She has gone on an insulin pump. I work with and adult MR person who is diabetic, and of course talking to her is sometimes like talking to a brick wall. Maybe your mom is feeling fatalistic, "I've got it, why struggle, it is going to get me anyway." I have a sister and a niece who check their blood sugars, take their insulin then eat bread pudding, and rice pudding, both made with white, processed bread or rice and real sugar. The fit person on the insulin pump tries to skip some of the bread, she will eat meats and cheeses with no bread instead of a sandwich. She does not use artificial sweeteners, and will not, I do not blame her, they give me headaches and diarrhea. Bake your fudge cake, just cut the pieces small and sit and enjoy every bite of it. Freeze some for next week. Use maple syrup as a sweetener, or honey, they both are better for you than white sugar. I can sympathize about her not helping herself, but it sounds like you should do the healthy things for yourself, so you do not end up in her diabetic, high blood pressure, poor circulation shoes. Be good to you, then you will have more energy to take care of her when she eats herself into an early forced retirement. Try uninstalling and reinstalling your printer. Hugs to you, because you obviously care a lot. Sounds like mom does not admit to her health problems or yours.
1 person likes this
@stephen_lynx (77)
• Philippines
22 Sep 07
well if you mean taking care of her, you need to be fair enough, aside from there's also a list of recipe for the diabetic and can also be enjoyed by a norm person. i guess you can enjoy both eating
@alamode (3071)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I told Hun that I thought it was time we finalized our wills. That we needed to be prepared in case he had an episode on the freeway, then he DID have an episode on the freeway! Weak, shaky, cold sweat, disorientation, tunnel vision... luckily, he was in near-gridlock and was slow enough to keep it together, get to an exit, and get to some orange juice!!! Tell your Mom that its only funny til it really happens!
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
22 Sep 07
Oh, excellent idea!! If she is not too stubborn.
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
22 Sep 07
She already gets the cold sweats and weakness and her vision is bad to begin with so I get really concerned plus the whole blood pressure thing. She grew up in a no-emotions household and expressing any kind of emotion other than anger to her is weak which is sad because she's the nicest person ever and anyone who's ever met her loves her to pieces. But I just can't drill it into her that it's ok to be scared and that she doesn't have to make some major joke out of everything. Then I get all fustrated and we end up pretending as if nothing is going on. I'll have to do like my grandmother did when she was raising her and use reverse psychology.
2 people like this
