how to deal with such situation?
By qinqin1202
@qinqin1202 (376)
China
September 22, 2007 9:41am CST
I have a girlfriend, we have been togother for 3 years, but we also quarrel with each other. we have different life styles, i'd like to work daynight, but she is active during night. also we have differnt perspectives as to how to treat our parents, i respect and appreciate my parents, because they bred me up, they did their best to give what i want, so i always wash i could pay they back,but such thought may sometimes jeopardise my girlfriend's behalf, then we quarrelled with each other. she don't like her parents, she don't think her parents have done something to help her, and she have left home for 3 years without feelling guilty. of course, I think the biggest problem is that she don't have a job, and she ascribed this to me, she also said that i should be responsible for her. after so many quarrels, i really don't want to spend my life with her, but i can't leave her alone, as she has nothing but me, so what should i do? to tolerate it or change it? can you tell me?
2 people like this
6 responses
@PixieMischief (218)
• Canada
23 Sep 07
you didnt really give much info. where her parents abusive cause if so thats a damn good reason to hate your parents.
maybe they abused her and she never told and thats where her anger towards them is from.
just a thought. Find out more info. dont make rash choices and try to help her, help her find a job. even if it doesnt pay much like heck get her on mylot. may not make GREATE amount of cash but at least shed be trying. It is a job after all to post constantly daily to get earnings lol
@qinqin1202 (376)
• China
23 Sep 07
In fact, i know her parents, they are nice and honest, but poor. they didn't give what she wanted because they had limited ability. Before she lived with me, she was an excellent and independent girl,and i know she cared her parents before. maybe if i had never existed, she would be a great woman. however, this is impossible to happen, because she is totally depended on me, and doesn't want to do something to change it. even if playing games or exploring internet all day is boring, she has been used to this.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
I don't think it's only you whom she have. Because if the person is left alone, the tendency is she will look for someoe else to be with. So you don't have to feel burden if you will decide to left her. She is not really your "whole" responsibility. She has her parents to take good care of her. She has her sisters or brothers. She has her friends. It is just that you are the love of her life that is why you seemed to be the "only" one for her. But it is not in reality. She has many around her. To hold and care for. Maybe she just refuses to do so. becuase she even doesn't like even her own parents. If you can change her just do so. But if you can't, just let her go without feeling guilty. She can manage. The way you can do.
@qinqin1202 (376)
• China
23 Sep 07
when she was with me, she gave up many things useful, she became dependent on me, and doesn't want to do anything else. she had said that she couldn't do two things at the same time, so when she loves me, she cannot do anything else. she doesn't want to have more education, or go out to find a job. whatever, she just loves me. this kind of love makes tired, and i can do nothing about that. i also can't be cruelhearted to leave her.
@leedug (920)
• United States
23 Sep 07
This girl has not learned to be independent from what you say. What you are doing is just following up where her parents left off taking care of her and you see how what she thinks about her parents. I think your gf needs to grow up some and be on her own for a while and not look for someone else to take care of her. It is not your obligation either just because you have been together for three years. If you really do care about, then make her grow up. You can't change her. She can only change yourself. But you can change the situation by not supportin an able bodied person who needs to learn to take care of herself.
@talisman (1300)
• United States
23 Sep 07
If you don't want to spend your life with this girl, it's time to get out of the relationship. Don't continue to stay when you know you're wasting your time or else you'll just be leading her on, which is wrong. You can leave her, she has other things and can find more things if she feels she's lacking. You deserve to be happy and find someone you actually want to make a life with. You can't do that if you continue to stay with someone because you feel that they need you. You need to do what's best for you, not her. She needs to and can look after herself.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
22 Sep 07
never get married to such a girl. first thing for you to do will be to help her to become independent. see if you can get her to enroll where she can have some talent which she can use to earn a living. maybe, she loves to make others look beautiful so she can have a beauty parlor or at least, work in one. or maybe, she likes to sew clothes and dresses. once she is financially able, leave her. she is not a good mate material. you will be sorry for the rest of your life if you get married with a woman who is not fit for you. never expect that time can change the attitude of a person, this is not so. a person's character shall remain to be so even until old age. listen to me for i am old enough and i have been through so much in this life. never sacrifice yourself and your future for someone who is not worth it. you will be so sorry that you have destroyed your own life when you gave it up on someone who is not worthy of the sacrifice.
@Valce1 (173)
• Canada
22 Sep 07
The fact that she has nobody else is not a reason for you to take her abuse. In fact, it should be a reason for her to NOT abuse you.
She's taking advantage of you and using your kindness and guilt to keep you tied down. Leave her, she's not the right kind of girl, find someone who appreciates and loves you.
Wouldn't you rather be having fun with a nicer girl than arguing with this one?
YOU have nothing to be guilty about.
Find someone else.
