What's your first reaction if your best friend say he/she love you?
By blackie921
@blackie921 (519)
Malaysia
7 responses
@braveheart07 (2601)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
Hi, first of all, to your question if I have faced this situation before, my answer is yes! Secondly, what will you do if I face this situation, my answer is it depends. Actually, I have one bestfriend, girl, in school. We were really close to each other. Honestly speaking, she has already a boyfriend. In fact, she was always asking for some advices to me, which pertained to her boyfriend, and I am very eager to answer her questions and also to give her some advices which may help her decide. How many months later, it was kind a suprise when she told to me that she was inloved with me. She did tell that through a letter. I have read the letter and was so shocked with the circumtances. I do not know what to do at that time but decided to reject her appeal that she was inloved with me. I had thought at that time that she has a boyfriend, and it is not ethical or reasonable to leave behind her boyfriend just because of that. I do not want to be the source of their breakups, and I really respect his boyfriend. Fortunately, she was able to understand that and realized that I am totally right. I had told to her the disadvantages of leaving your boyfriend without a reasonable reason.
That's it.
Have a nice day!
2 people like this
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 07
Thanks for your response and thanks for sharing your story with me. The way you face this problem os definitely right. I wonder why last time i cannot face this situation like you. Have a nice day too!
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 07
Thanks for your response and thanks for sharing your story with me. The way you face this problem is definitely right. I wonder why last time i cannot face this situation like you. Have a nice day too!
1 person likes this
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
No i never face this kind of situation. I will not reject if i have also a feeling as more than friends to him. But if i don't have maybe i will try to understand him for the fact that i just comfortable to be his friends and nothing more than on that.
I have a bestfriend and She not HE. But we always says i love you to each other. Its never shocked me.LOL! ITs usual to us. We love each other as best of friends..
1 person likes this
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
I think i will not reject. If i feel that i'm also fall in love with her,i will accept her. If not, i will not accept it because it will hurt her. It's good to have a best friend like you. I love my friends also but it's love for a friend not for lover.Lolz.. Have a nice day! Thanks for your respond.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
23 Sep 07
Jump for joy? Faint? Rush into their arms?
Umm, yeah. The thing is, I've never had a best friend whom I didn't fall in love with myself. So I guess I've never had the experience of having a best friend declare their love for me when it was unrequited.
Thankfully, I can also say that I've never declared my love for a best friend and found it unrequited either. Even though the person I currently call my best friend and I aren't together now, we have been before, and I am willing to accept that while that part of our relationship didn't last, she still cares for me, and I for her.
1 person likes this
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
Thanks for your respond. I have some best friends that they don't want to accept this kind of relationship. They will just reject it if they face this kind of relationship.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
23 Sep 07
*nods* Yeah, I figured my response wasn't really the kind you were looking for. My life is just weird, that's all. =p
I think my best friend was in love with me, and I wasn't in love with them, I would try to find a way to continue to be best friends with them without hurting them too much. The problem is, when you're in love with someone who doesn't love you, there are two different ways you seem to react.
1) You take all the attention from them you can get, of any kind. You put a lot into the friendship, and accept that it is only friendship, but still cherish that you get to be close to the person you love at all.
or
2) You get really angsty and pathetic over the whole thing. Instead of accepting whatever they offer you in terms of friendship, you are only more hurt when they are kind to you because it makes you feel like there might be a chance for a moment, only to have to realize all over again that there isn't one.
I have to admit that I've been in unrequited love relationships with friends before... it's just never been the person that I call my best friend (I've only ever given that title out twice). I've reacted in both these ways before. When you're reacted in the second way, to be honest, the kindest thing someone can do for you is stay away for a while.
So if one of my friends came to me and told me they were in love with me, and I wasn't in love with them, I would be honest with them about it, and let them know that I still wanted to be their friend, if they could accept that. If they showed signs of constantly being in pain when we were together though, I would insist we see less of each other for a while, just because then we might be able to start fresh later after the pain has calmed down a bit.
1 person likes this
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
This is what i really want to know. A good respond. I will tell them how i feel also. I do not want to run away from it. It makes me feel like she's a "monster" and make me run away. If i like her,i also accept it and change our friendship to love. If i do not like her, i will tell her. I will try my best to let her know that how i really feel. I will let her know the person i really fall in love with.
I ever face this situation before. It spoiled our friendship. We are best friends but since that, we seldom see each other and talk to each other. I think is because i have not ready to face this kind of situation. So,i messed with it. Feel regret for it. I've lost a friend.
1 person likes this
@franziska (410)
• Italy
26 Sep 07
I've really faced this situation many years ago. My first reaction was to laugh, internally, because I didn't want to offend him. Externally I showed just my surprise and then I told him that I didn't have the same feelings of him. Now he is still my best friend and sometimes we remember what happened when we where young
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
26 Sep 07
Thanks for your respond. It's good that you and your best friend still can maintain the good friendship. If now you or your friend remember about it, will you 2 laugh about it? Have a nice day!
@anuj291 (575)
• India
23 Sep 07
y will u run away??its ur best frnd,,i think it is the best thing that culd happen to u?ofcourse if u are at the same place as he/she is..
and as far as acceptin and rejectin is concerned,,i guess it all depends on u,,if u like him/her then its the best cuz u already know everythin abt that person and it will be like startin on the 15th date
1 person likes this
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
Thanks for your respond. For that, i just can say that i'm panic at that time. It's my first time to face this kind of situation and i do not know how to handle it well. So, i chose to run away from her. I treat her really good but it's all only friendship not love. If i love her,i will accept her but i don't.
@zabawaus (1730)
• United States
24 Sep 07
Hello blackie,
This is exactly happened to me when I was 18 . My best friend who I knew him since we were babies. One day when we were getting ready to change cities to go to university he gave me a letter and want me to read it after he left. And he left to another city and I opened the letter. He's just wanted to let me know that he was loving me for these years. He wasn't asking to go out with him he has just wanted me to know. And I never saw him again.
@blackie921 (519)
• Malaysia
24 Sep 07
Thanks for your respond and thanks for sharing the story with me and other mylotters. I think that he's just do not know whether you will accept him. Maybe he just worry that he will loose this friendship. Have a nice day!
