Are you best friend to you kid?

My kids are 12 1/2 and 14 (next week) and yes I am their best friend...Always have been and I have to say that even though there are ppl who feel parents SHOULDNT be best friends or even just close friends with their kids, I disagree fully...Being as close as I am with my kids as well as open, honest and available has given them the confidence and willingness to come to me with any and every issue they may have, our communication is incredible and I wouldnt have it any other way! :-D

I am a best friend to all my girls. I have 4 daughters. I am very open with them and they can come to me with anything and they know in their hearts that no matter what they do that I will be there loving them. I will say, however, that during the teen years in their minds, i was their worst enemy. I have very strong values and convictions and I don't bend on those just to be their friend. I stood by them but did not go against my own convictions in order to "be a friend". It is very painful to hear your child screaming hateful words at you. You have to love them enough to let them hate you and they will or they will seem to for a short time. In the end, they will be greatful.

i don't have any kids but if i did i think i would do my best to be a friend but make sure they would understand i am still there father

No, I'm not their best friend, and I won't allow myself to be. It sounds harsh, but it's not nearly as bad as you think, lol. I have five children. We have 'excellent' relationships. My daughters talk to me about anything, and my sons talk to me about 'almost' everything .. the important stuff they save for their Dad. We go on family outings, we take off to the park, we set aside days to just sit around and play games. We have family wrestling tournaments, lol. My kids know they are free to joke around with us, and they're all very sarcastic because of it. We playfight, joke, laugh and have a great time. But I am NOT their friend. I've made this very clear to them. Friendships entail a 50/50 relationship. We don't have that. I hold 51 per cent of this relationship. I've told them, and they understand, that we are friend-LY, but we are not friends. They know what I mean by this and don't take it personally. They understand that my depiction of what a friend should be is not what a relatioship should be between children and parents. There's a line involved with parenting that a friendship cannot have. To have that line, or one person have the upper hand, in a friendship, is a disaster for that friendship. To not have it between parent and child is a disaster for discipline and well rounded children.

Well,I agree with you.We parents always want our kids to be happy.But I think in a certain time our kids dont like our friendship.I think they dont think about our friendship but busy with their own life style.

i absolutely agree with your view,when i am a child ,i remember clearly that i want so much to play with my father ,but he was alwasys busy ,so i felt disappointed .now i try to play with kids ,in the future if i have my child ,i will spend as much as possible time to play with my kid.

Nah I dont agree at all. This tendency to rather be your kids friends than be their parents is odd in my eyes. Parents are there as guides, authority and security, not to be their friends. Being friendly is ofc a given, but being friends is crossing the line between the job of being a parent and the need of the individual. If I was in a family where my parent(s) were my best friends, I would both feel very weirded by it and left behind, and if they truely were my best friends, set back in life socially. Parents have to set the record straight with rules. They have to make sure the kids have a secure home where they fear nothing, they have to create the stable homelife that is needed. Parents dont have to be idiots because of this though, but aiming to be your kids friend... dont go there. Being close to is ok, but you are still to be examples not equals for as long as they are kids.

Yes, I agree. I want to be my son's best friend. But it's unhealthy for me to expect to be my best friend. Does that make sense?

i'm not a mom, but my mom is my best friend. i like chatting with her about everything happened to me. now , i live in a city far away from her, then i can't chat with her everyday, and i can chat with her by phone in 3 days. when i have a boyfriend, then i will chat with her about him, then she will give me some good advice. when i am in bad mood, then she will teach me how to solve it. why i'm in bad mood, then seek a way to solve it basically.

My children are still very small to say that we are a best friend. But what happen with me and my mother is something similar with your post discussion. I used to be very closed to my mother. We went out to do shopping,did a lot of things together few years ago. It was quite fun actually since we really enjoy those moments. But even we are pretty much closed to each other, we still have a small line that make sure that we are not friends but she is a mother and I'm the daughter. We never cross that line, I still give my respect to her as my mother. Now I live far away from her, and I sometimes miss those moments to be with my mother.

yes, i agree. Want to be friend with kids, we need more patiently when communication to them. I have one nephew which just 3 years old. He is very active boy. I like to play with him, sometime he will me the question and i will answer him. But after i answer him, he will ask why like this and like that? Then i will seem dunno how to reply him. He also will repeat and repeat his question to me. When i got go to travel, i will buy some clothes to him. If i call him on outstation, sure he will ask me buy something for him before put down the phone. Although he is naughty, but i like him so much as he is cute.