I'm trying to find the right way to end my long term relationship

ok so let me understand this your boyfriend is ill and his parents think its you who is making him ill? if this is the case you need to have a heart to heart with your boyfriend. My mother in law hates my every being and thus will say mean things to try to stop my husband from being with me BUT none of them are true and my husband has made the decision not to listen to them. ask your boyfriend if he believes what his parents say (if the answer is yes then its over and you dont have to say any thing else) if he says no then tell him that you both need to find another dr to see for his illness

Dont worry maam..you will get a better guy than him..this sentence may affect you but i think that he and his parents really dont deserve a girl like you and i think that they have lost a good girl who cant stop her emotions and has written this post..even though i cant do anything for your sadness i pray to God that you get a better and a long timed relationship guy who would never ever leave you for others sake... Happy Mylotting

i think ,it is some kind of mental illness,your in-laws might have manipulated the doctor into believing them.i think,you both should take a second opinion from another doctor,without the influences of your in-laws and then would be better,if you came to a conclusion.

Well, if you are already apart and swear to never see him again, what more is there to say? I find this a heart wrenching discussion. I am sorry for the mishaps and loss. Sometimes family melding in a relationship is what burns it out. have you ever heard the saying, Let his go. If he comes back, he is yours. If not, he never was. Galena, if it is meant to be by fate, there will come a time again when you will be together. You did not go into detail as to what was ailing him but I suppose you did not have to. I am so sorry to read of the lies and the obvious disapproval when in essence it will only hurt him. If you must, just talk with him and keep it light and do not name call or be aggressive in your explanation. Just tell him the truth, point blank. tell him the truth as you have told us here. Let him know that you love him and always will. That for now, separating is what is the best for both of you. Should matters change in the future, not all is lost. That he will be in your heart forever. Honestly, it sounds to me that this man must stand up to his parents and basically just tell them to bug out and leave him alone. To stop meddling in his personal life. That he is old enough to make his own decisions that do not concern them. Bless you both. So what you have to and then don't look back. This will be the best thing for you to help you move on gracefully and with a clear outlook.

so they KNOW ???? Damn, you should have covered your tracks better, use them spells at a distance or something, lest your dark filthy magic be exposed to the infidels :D Say how'd it turn out in the meantime ? You guys back together again ? I see you're planning some wedding in another discussion. Same guy ?

there is no way i would give up on love.. how could you make him ill if you are not doin anything to himm i would fight for my relationship.. who is his parents to tell him who he can and cant be with

I am so sorry to hear this hun, but I wonder, have you actually sat down with your man and told him exactly what is happening and how you feel. Does he realise how badly his parents are behaving towards you? Please don't give up on happiness yet, give it another try

Yeesh this sucks big time Galena...but why do you want his parents to win? Why back down cause of their obvious manipulation. I would think it would affect him even more and make him iller if you break it off, no?

Oh, this is horrible. :( Many hugs and much love for you and him, because I think you both need it right now. Unfortunately, that's all I have to offer on the subject, as I'm horrible about ending relationships.

I'm so sorry Galena. I really am but there is no easy way to break up with your significant other. Who's to say if it's the right thing to do? No one knows really and for sure however do you think that maybe he said something to the doctors to make them think that it's a good idea to break up? It seems strange that the doctors would even suggest it unless he said something. Not only that but at times he's asked you to leave which isn't sounding like a loved one. Gosh I'm so sorry this is happening to you but it might be the best thing in the long run, for you anyway. Which ever you decide to do, it's up to you and him, it will be the right choice. If you do decide to end it, you can honestly say you gave it your all. Seven years is a long time.

hi galena i dont think outsiders should have a say in your dicision you two are in love and love conquers all and if you are a christian then god will work this situation out for you jsut trust him and god will prevail

I think you'd better to expose the real reason to his parents.And you will convince them that you love your boyfriend indeed.And you wil take care of hime.

please dear in every days life there are problems facing to this very situations in every days life.please never follow the hear of the parents but follow what your heart tells you to do because who could know that you it is a plane from God that you should be together. please never do anything to lose what you like so much in your life. because i am facing the same problems which is very bad because it can lead you to something which you might not like to go through it so please never give but rather press on to what ever you what to achieve in life and your prayers be very hard they want to get you away from what you have.

Wow that’s a mouthful but I am not sure I got what you were saying but it sounds like his parent are the reasons you want to break up and not something your boyfriend has done. I know it can be difficult to live with antagonistic mother and father in laws but if I'd rather you break up with me for something I had done. In addition I cant see how a doctor can contrive with his parents to suggest you break up ,his area of expertise is medicine and not relationships ,unless its a medical condition that you have like sickle cell and it would be injurious to a child and even then he can only present his findings and let you decide. That said though and you are convinced that you want to go through with this, I rather the direct approach. Breakups over the phone or letters are a no for me. I prefer we sit down and discuss it face to face .You may choose a restaurant or a scenic place no problem with me as long as it is face to face .I don’t know how your boyfriend may view this ,some men might get irate to know that you are taking me out to break up with me, you should know your man. If however you believe he can get violent choose a public place or bring someone with you ,who can give your privacy to talk with your man but be on hand if things get out of hand. And bring someone who can handle such situation with aggravating it, preferably a neutral party. Now that’s out of the way now on to what you wanted to say. Some persons prefer to list the good times first and then the breakups. Some persons may once again get angry over the fact that you tell them so many good things and then give them bad news, once again you know your man. Maybe he prefers the direct approach, just give the bad news and let the chips fall where thy may. Whatever way you choose it will not be easy but just choose the way you think will cause less hurt.

Hell, this is terrible. There is too much mess going on here. I know you love this man, & no doubyt he loves you. But I don't think it is going to be good for you to live the resat of your life with this mans family, his Doctors & whoever else puts their cents worth in. There is just too much baggage, & his family will not leave you alone. I know it is hard, but get out while you can. Tell your boyfriend the truth, leave him a nice letter as well perhaps, so he knows you are not getting back at him or anything.

its very sad to hear all these. But I don't know why your husband is not saying the truth. Is there any problem with him? But be assured taht people who tell lies and do harm to others can never be happy in life.

Omg, I am so so so horribly sorry that this happened to you. I have no idea what to say...That's just too terrible. What is it that's wrong with him that they think you're making him sicker?

I wonder what illness is "caused by girlfriend". Anyway, you say that you love him so much. If that's the case, why are you giving up so easily? One thing I've learned is that parents will always have their opinion. They're entitled to that. But you don't have to let it bring you down. You don't have to surrender control of your life to them. They're parents, not gods. So have a talk with your boyfriend. Ask him who does he believe -- you, his parents, or his doctors? If he believes in you then I think your relationship deserves a chance. If he sides with his parents and doctors, obviously it's time to say goodbye. In that case you don't have to be an Einstein on how to do it. Just do it! I mean, why marry a person who doesn't believe you? It's hard enough to maintain a relationship. It would be impossible to have a good relationship with someone who doesn't believe in you or support you when it comes to disputes.

Im very sorry to hear about this Galena. I wish parents werent so meddling. They need to learn to butt out of their childrens life once in a while. How old is your boyfriend? No matter what its gong to be very hard to break it to him. Theres no easy way to break things off with someone. Maybe just sit down and talk to him, let him know how much you truely care about him. Explain to him why you must break things off. Im sure in the end he will understand. Good luck.