Left Pregnant

This is a hard one isnt it. Your friend on one hand knew that she was dating a married man and as such, she should have known that there was no way he was going to leave his wife or jeopardise everything he had for someone else. This makes her silly. He on the other hand, was doing exactly the same thing and it makes me wonder why on earth he chose another married person to have an affair with. Im sure he must have known that there could be consequences of those actions so that makes him a swine. I dont think he is justified in just washing his hands of the whole affair but I can see why he would want to. Finding your friend was pregnant could have been the shock of his life and rather than think things through, he panicked, threw money at your friend and ran. When your friend has recovered, ask her to take a good long look at her marriage and what she feels is wrong with it in the first place for her to want to have an affair and suggest that she and her husband go to counselling together when he gets back from his overseas work. A marriage only lasts as long as you work at it and it seems as though your friend gave up on hers. It can be saved if shes willing to work at it rather than having an affair. If her husband ever found out about the affair it would crush him beyond belief and then she would be alone anyway because I dont know of any man who would want to stay with a partner who felt it necessary to be unfaithful to him. To put it simply, he was justfied in giving her money but not in running. She was silly for giving up on her marriage and having the affair. Get her and her hubby into counselling.

I'm going to get myself into trouble for saying this... but she is just as much to blame as he is. "It takes two to tango." At least he was kind enough to pay for the abortion. A lot of guys here in the US wouldn't even do that. They are both married, and they're both adults. They made their decisions, and now they have to live with them.

Why did your friend had an affair with a married man. What kind guy is he? After using your friend, he will just leave her alone with her problem... How cruel is that man. Well... before I can say the worst word for tha man. I think you should take the responsibility in helping your friend since you are concern with her. Your friend really needs someone who can help her.

First of all they should not have committed infidelity, they are both married. That's really a big problem even if the abortion is successful. For me the woman should face the consequences of what she did and let the baby live.

I dont mean to sound so harsh but Im completing against abortion so to me that was the wrong solution. She and the guy had an affair both married thats their problem why should the baby suffer because of his/her mommy and daddys mess ups. There are plenty of people in the world who cant have kids and would absolutely love to adopt one. As for the women im a believer in what goes around comes around. She should talk to her husband and be honest with him its much better than him finding out another way.

Ofcourse I must agree with you on that he is a swine. But, yes there is a but, your friend also knew he was a married man. She probably also knew that he did not want his family knowing about anything. She should have taken the proper precautions so that she could not get pregnant. Ofcourse this was also the responsibility of the guy. I also don't believe in adultery, so why did she cheat on her husband?

Wow, what a story! I'm sorry for your friend because she is in a lot of trouble...but she should have think before acting... First, you don't get involved with a married person if you want to stay out of trouble.... Secondly, you have to protect yourself because it is a possibility to get pregnant. It still doesn't excuse the responsabilty of the married man that should get involved with the abortion of the baby. And for the reputation of your friend...when you do a mistake, you have to assume your responsability and the consequences that goes with it. I think it's a lesson for everyone who hear that story. Say good luck to your friend! Pete

Your friend ofcourse cheated her husband. She has to face the consequences. She should not have done this first of all and that too when her husband was not in the country. Both are at fault so one cannot blame just the guy. Atlease he gave the money to get the thing done.

You did the right thing by being there for your friend through this difficult ordeal. The man did more than some would have, some may have just walked away without even helping to pay for the termination. But he should have taken her & been there for her. I wouldn't quite say that he's a swine, but he's not man of the year either. I hope your friend has support and that she's able to put this behind her & make better choices in the future.

I hate to say it but I very well could have found myself in that predictment also.I did take precautions however,I have an IUD.It's proably save me more than once.The guy also decided that he didn't want anything else to do with me.It really does a number on your mind when you feel used and abused.

oh my god u have to be kidding why would u cheat in the first place their are devices u can use to keep yourself safe and if she knew their was a chance of her getting pregnant where was her birth control i feel no pity for this woman she acted very inapprotiately and should of kept her legs closed my god thats why good women like us cant find a good man because of women like her i have been on my lot for a long time and this is the first time i have been so outraged at this whole situation. and u think u helped her out by being with her when an innocent life was taken you are more stupid than her why would u go along with her having a abortion u actually condoned this action unbelievable their are woman who would give anything to have a child and she goes and kills one because its a inconvenience to her. in her reputation if she was so conservative what was she thinking of when she spread her legs that doesnt sound very conservative to me. it takes to 2 tango and they should of both handled the situation differently. the baby could of been given up for adoption to a couple who would of gladly taken the child in. it is most womens dreams to have a child you are angry at the man u should be upset with her as well for that kind of loose behavior. poor girl i doubt it i could not live with myself if i ever aborted a child i created even though it was under these preventable circumstances. why make the child pay for their indisgressions. i dont know how the man could be so blase about the whole situation it was a baby for goodness sake the thought of this whole situation makes me ill i am sure their other spouses found out about it anyways how can u hide something like that to be able for her to be with her husband and know what she did is unreprehensible and the man is no better the justification here should of went to that innocent baby who did not ask to be yanked from her belly like that i dont understand people how can they be so airheaded u went along with all of this nonsense whats the matter with u where are your brains GRRRRRRRRR DUH!!!!!

Heavy mix emotion must be inside your married friend by now. but it's no point to blame which side is wrong now. rice became porridge, no turn back. It won't settle anything if your friend go seek that man again. The long the affair, the dangerous it will become. Same in pre-marriage life, when the girl gets pregnant, and the boy is missing or wash his hands, it may be at least settle with authority (in my country) or having them married, the solution is a bit less weighted. But your friend's case, is just to complex, included their legal-partner and family now. There are only an option now, forget the men and the past, go for abortion and take the money, seek for somebody and paid him amount of money to act as his husband. You will need some trusted-backdoor's guy for this help. About justified, it's hard to explain. Some people might just never feel faulty and think money can resolve anything. But yet karma always balance everything, he will find something else soon. Not we are cursing, but life's meant to be as it is used to be.

Your discussion let me know a new word that is swine:) As a woman,I would agree you that the guy is a swine.He should be responsable for the pilgarlic. But when I consider from the guy's aspect,your friend have made mistakes,therefor she must take the responsibility of the condequence.

Well on a personal level I do not belive in abortion when there are so many couples that can't have children, and would be willing to raise them. She should have thought of her reputation before she cheated on her spouse. Apparently both parties were married to other people, so now they will both have the blood of a child on their hands, and I hope they carry that guilt in their hearts

Sorry, but your friend got what she deserved. She cheated on her hubby with a married man. Neither one of them is going to win a prize for outstanding morals, then she expects they guy to stand by her. He slithers on the ground, as does she.