If you suspect your father / mother of cheating, what would you do?

This is topic of your's is one of the hardest I'll ever post at my friend, since it's about family matters and too personal. As for my thoughts about this, I suggest you confide it first to your mother. As a member of a family, you have the rights to know what the deal is all about and that you are the one's who saw it. I guess you only have to worry of what or where their conversation would end up, again, as a daughter you have to step up and try to keep them from away from turning a conversation into a nasty argument. Your point here is, you need to know, since you are bothered and somehow affected of what you've just discovered.

My dad was cheating, and I hate him for it.I was too young at the time to know what to do, other than protect my mother in really stupid, child-type ways, like trying to make her laugh and feel good during the day.

If your father is keeping something from you then he wouldn't put those bills in any place where it could easily be found like in his car. I recall one time, my friend and I tied up for a phone subscription. It's one of those promos where if one subscribes, they can get another line and the phone for the additional line will be free. We decided that I'm the one who's going to make the application because I have higher probability of getting approved. So with that, every month, I receive two phone bills under delivered though it was my friend who was using and paying for the other line. So don't worry, it might just be a simple case like what I described and nothing to worry about. Just concentrate on your studies. Adults do stupid things sometimes, but don't allow yourself to be put down by their actions.

I really wouldn't jump to any conclusions so quickly. It might possibly be something very innocent with no meaning at all, since she is a family friend. I would just sit tight for a while but keep your eyes and ears open until something more substantial evolves, if anything. Good luck and I hope this all works out for the best.......don't let it bug you too much until you know the facts.

Don't think negative yet. Wait for your dad to tell and explain the truth. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If you are really not at peace knowing that he called a family friend who happened to be a woman, better ask him politely why he did such call. If he gives you a valid reason, it will surely relieve you of all the doubts and pain. But if you think he tells a lie, then that is the time to do the next move. But for now, take the easiest and most safest step- ask him first and let him explain.

If it happens to me, I will get such phone bill because it will serve as a document in the future. You cannot accuse him to have an affair, because you can't prove it. Gather documents which you think you can use it in the future, so that by that time, your dad and the other woman cannot deny. Then assert your right as a child. You can also help your mom assert her right. I have a friend who experienced this who just ignored the situation and at the end, their father left them behind for the sake of another woman. Check if your dad is still close with your mom, if not confide with your dad what's the matter. In this situation, if parents can't patch up, the children can help things return to normal.

My parents divorced due to differences in communication, and are both re-married, to new wonderful people. If I caught my mother and step-father cheating on eachother or my father and step-mother cheating on eachother, I would gather evidence on the cheating party, and prove it to the other party. I would make sure I knew what I was talking about, before I did anything about it.

Well you can't accuse him of anything without proof. If you really want or need to know, try to find out on your own. Maybe you can ask him questions in a subtle way so that he doesn't suspect you suspect. Or maybe you can call that number you found for that woman. It would really suck if you find out it's true but the reality is that you really don't know. So worry about it if and when it's been confirmed.

this is a dificult situation to handle and that is right that we become depress that what to do and what to not. i am not closer to yu and no the relation with your father this will be difcult for me to post any comments on that

If I were in your position, I would talk to my father about it, but I will never tell my mother about it because I don't want to cause a family war for it. We need to have a peaceful family. Just be brave enough to talk to him so that you can get rid of your dark clouds around you to make you feel good otherwise forget it.

Hello meeming, I think I'm too late to answer your queries. My parent's were already seperated for almost 16 years now. My father left us and go to the his other woman. They have already children of their own 5 to be exact. Much more to us 'coz where only 3 siblings in my family. But in your case i think you have to do something about it now before everything will be too late. You can ask your dad directly. But if you can't do that , better to do the spy thing. Play undercover. Or just give benifit of the doubt maybe your dads does pays for that bill. He has her receipt because your family friend hand it to him and ask your dad a favor to pay for her bill too on her behalf.

i also think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. maybe you just misunderstand him.you can beat around the bush to know more about it.in a word,don't take action before you make it clear.

My dad and mum cheat me serval times with the things not very important.For most time,I believe them sincere, because we are family.Your problem are difficult,i think you should ask your father ,but don't do obviously.Otherwise it will hurt both of you.I hope you will solve it and be happy soon.

I think first off, I would go and confront the father, and ask him if he was cheating on my mother, I know you say you don't have the guts to do that, but do you have the conscience to you that you know he could be and allow it to continue knowing it is going to hurt your mother. This really is tricky subject because if you go to your mother she may not believe you and become very angry. If you are to scared to confront your dad. Maybe talk to the woman who is supposed to be a family friend and tell her how you feel about it.

well its a very personal issue...but if the family's is forsaken or jeopardize i have to take action to it...by confronting the person involved if its really that graved...sometimes we dont have to be judgmental to every situation maybe that person just needs help or something...but if its another one...its not good... talk it out with ur dad to clear out the cobwebs...(^-^)

I would first come to an understanding that the last thing I would want to happen is for me to be the reason for their divorce. What you suspect may not even be true and at this time only your are being hurt by your assumption. It is also true that you mother may already know he has or is cheating. So telling her will only embarrass her and accomplish nothing. If this woman is a friend of the family perhaps you should approach her if you cannot resolve this for yourself. You will then know the truth and in talking with her may end any affair they might be having. Be prepared to be embarrassed however as there may be nothing to it. You have no responsibility for how your parents marriage is going. Love them and let them love you but leave this alone. If he is having an affair it will take care of itself in time. Let it go because it will eat you up and it truly is none of your business.

i was sad when i suspected my mother cheating me. then i let her tell me the truth. one day, i went out with my boyfriend to ,then my mom helped me to look after my shop. when i got back, then my mom told me details of goods sold. then i couldn't check right the money and goods, then i asked my mom about it. my mom said that someone didnt' give her money after buying a goods. i said nothing, but i felt it is not the truth. then i continuously asked my mom smilely. then i mom said the truth that she received a false 100RMB. i was very sad, because my mom thought she made a big mistake and she felt very sad. she is my mom and she does everything for me, but she feels sad when she makes such a bit of mistake. i hate myself, i feel i'm wrong.

When my father was younger I also found him out cheating on my mother. That other woman even befriended me. My first instinct was not to tell my mother. Unfortunately, my mother learned about it. it came to a point that my mother had an ugly confrontation with the other woman.

You can try pressuring your dad by showing him a couple of hints that you know what he is up to so that he can repent his action. Or if you are brave enough you can go straight to the woman you know and settle it. Yeah its a hard decision but something have to be done or if you don't want to jeopardize everything, you should let it be and forget it. Maybe everything is just a misunderstand :) Pray can't help, only you can help yourself i assume

well, your discovery doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating. why don't you be patient and watch (not snoop) for a little while. and please don't tell your Mum yet. think about the consequences if it is finally found out as a hoax. in fact, it is non of your business, since you seem not to be sure. let your Mum find out for himself. or better still, keep your hands crossed. cheating doesn't last long - you always get found out one way or the way. that's the way life goes.