~Arranged Marriage~ (What will you do if it's you?)

Hi claire, very interesting topic, thanks for posting. I haven't seen many arranged marriages, but where I have, they seem to work well. I think it depends on your culture. Where this has been the practice for thousands of years, it seems to work better. Certainly with the number of family breakups in the western world, we can't hold up our way as being perfect. That is not saying that I would want an arranged marriage for myself, or for my children. Respect for family and family traditions is very strong in some cultures, and this is where it appears to work best. Blessings.

you are right that getting married is our right.but may i tell u that arranged marraiges are more successful than lov marraiges.here in our countries INDIA PAKISTAN BANGLADESH 90% marraiges are the arranged one.and out of them 95% are successful.but that is not the case in other countries.do you agree

I have know arranged marriages that have worked out great and everyone is happy but I have seen horrible arranged marriages too where money and standing in the community was more important than happiness. I don't know if it is a good thing or not but I would never allow it in my life as I have always been against the norm. I would have fought my parents long and hard about it. Fortunately for me I come from a culture where this isn't an issue and I chose my mate myself. I think it might avoid a lot of the awkward dating scenes and romances that are horribly wrong but that is a part of life isn't it?

I don't agree with arranged marriages at all because it's so degrading. If it were to happen to me, I'd run like a bat out of hell to another country or to someone that I know could protect me and get me out of the situation. To have my parents tell me who I'm to marry and when is like saying I'm not worth my say in anything that I do and that I'm below my beliefs or aren't allowed to believe in anything other than what they tell me. In other words, I'm nothing but a robot. So no I would not agree to an arranged marriage.

My wife and I had an arranged marriage, we have been together for 18 yrs. I was having difficulty dating women. for years I could not find a date, then a meeting was set up between my wife and I, in 6 weeks we got married. She had a child out of wedlock, I was single at 35 yrs. old, people were wondering if I would ever get married? I never knew how much my wife loved me till our 14 yr. of marriage. I would not recommend arrange marriages but it worked for me, we plan to stay together, and grow old.

my aunts and grandparents were married through arrangements, typical of the old days. but my dad and his brothers had chosen their wives for themselves. that broke the tradition for us. on my part, i am grateful that we are given the privilege to marry someday without coercion or force. but there are exceptions to the rule of course, that those people completely grew to love their partners and have the wonderful years. And of course, there are sad stories, too.

I don't think it is right for them to do tht to their kids but I guess that is how they are raised

Initially I think the idea is absurd. I think people should marry someone they love and not someone their parents chose for them, especially someone they don't even know. But, if my parents had chosen a husband for me (which they wouldn't have done but they might have introduced a POTENTIAL husband to me), I would have an open mind. My mother always told me not to marry beneath my station. I have gone against those words of wisdom - twice! If my father had found a nice man in his business world for me I think it probably would have been better for me. I am not saying I regret the choices I made. I cannot say that because each choice leads us down a path that took us to where we are today. I cannot regret having my two daughters and if I hadn't made the choices I did they wouldn't be here, but then I guess I would have other children. That's a whole other world of science! LOL! But I love my husband. I also know there are better men out there than him. I'm moving up though as he is better than my first husband. I have no intention of ending my marriage but I can not help but think how my life would be if I hadn't married beneath my station. There are pros and cons for every situation.

Hey better dont let the indians hear that arranged marriage is BAD or else... I did not say that...

Hey better dont let the indians hear that arranged marriage is BAD or else...

I agree with you and I think it is absurd that other people should arrange a partner for you. It should be your choice as to who you marry. Some people will argue that it's all about tradition, but some traditions should be thrown directly into the dustbin of history.

I don't agree with arrange marriages either because everyone has the right to choose their partner for life and every women has the right to find their soulmate.

is is once popular in our country too.when girls usually do not go out to meet people and in fact it is forbidden for a girl to go out to know others or make new friends.when they reach the age of marriage,their parents will arrange a comparable man for them to marry.so they do not know each other until the wedding day.I think it is a sorrow to both.but now,all of us can choose our man or woman to marry,because it is a new age.

I have to say that I would be totally against arranged marriages. You are so right when you say that people should have a right to choose for themselves who they want to spend the rest of their lives with. But unfortunately it is part of certain religions and traditions of certain countries. I have heard that there is unspeakable harm done to a young girl if she refuses to marry the man that has been chosen for her. I am so glad in that way that I dont belong to those countries.

My marriage was an arranged marriage. My father's marriage was arranged. I arranged marriage of both my sons. In our family all marriages are arranged. There has been no divorce in our family. And you are not right in your perception about arranged marriages that these marriages are arranged by persons other than the persons getting married. Persons getting married are an essential part of the entire marriage process. The process is started by parents and other enders as marriage is seen as a relationship between families. But marriage is finalized only when boy and girl give their consent.

well i think arrange marriage is a good thing if you love that person, arrange does not mean tat she/he s not your choice, and its deciced that if i love some one and my perents are also happy than what would called. yes if you ae gettig married without your choice and yuor family is insisting you to do that then, yes if arranges mean that i will not do that

if i have no my beloved boyfriend, then i will accept arranged marriage. frankly, it is not bad for a people who can't find a suitable partner when he/she is old enough. i had a boy friend who is over 30 years old, but he has no girlfriend at all. his parents are very worried about his marriage, then they arrange a marriage for him. he refused the marriage, because it seems that he can't find a girlfriend, he feels it is ashamed to accept an arranged marriage. so he is single now, but he is living an unhappy life. if i were him, i would accept the marriage if i can get along with him for several months.

Yes, i agree with you totally. Each person has the right to choose who wants to marry and love. I don't agree with arrange marriage too. If i am arranged by my parents to marry somebody, i must be gonna crazy. I think i lose the freedome of pursuit the love.

Well Claire it might be shocking to U , i am from Pakistan and my marriage was arrange by my parents, and i am happy as they selected good partner for me They asked me if i love some one , but as there was none so they arrange after discussing with me Mind it, parents dont choose wrong for u Take care

Oh, I'll run away from home if my parents insist on such a thing. It's a different case if they introduce me to someone and then they'll let me decide whether he's worth it or not. BUT if they force me to marry someone no matter what just 'coz THEY like him or his family, then I WILL run away indeed. After all, it's I who have to live together forever with the man, not them, so I have to know whether he and I are a match or not. Yes, I'm a rebel hi hi hi...