Mental Illness and Dealing With It...

At first I was taken aback. I am bi-polar, and the thought that I would create a huge stress on an entire household is strange to me. Now I did create a stress for a while because I had a lot of things physically wrong with me, and it took a while to figure out what it all was. But if anyone with these disorders are getting medical and counseling help, I feel that we should meet them half way, as hard as it is. As long as they are trying. If they refuse to get any help, that is a whole different story. I'm a bit confused over your reference to 'mania' as a separate condition. But perhaps I'm just not current on the psychological terms. Reality is that if a person is trying, you aren't going to have to wonder how much is the disease and how much is them. Because no one wants this to happen to them. If they can be 'normal', they will be. It's hard to deal with someone with these conditions, but basically we're all valuable people who deserve understanding and care. And if the 'mentally ill' are actively trying to follow the right patterns to recover, than I would go all out to support them. Committing someone to me would be done for two reasons: dangerous behavior, or inability to care for that person, with no other alternatives. I think you have voiced what a lot of people have wondered, including myself. : )

I have OCD. I don't believe it's stressful on anyone besides myself. I don't believe it hinders my life to "fix" it. I believe it's who I am. I believe the same some other mental illness' too. I think it's kind of rude to think that just because someone is ADHD it's going to be stressful on the people around it. Some people can learn to take care of themselves with their problems. The key is learning how to deal with your own problem and learning how to deal with the problems of loved ones. I have a cousin who is Autistic. This is also a "mental illness" and granted, I don't enjoy being around him... and maybe it was tough before it was diagnosed, but as soon as the family knew what was wrong with him we learned how to deal with it. That's what you do. You learn how to adapt to the person/child the way that they are because you know what.. they can't help it.

I am bi-polar and my family (husband and daughter) "handle" me just fine. They also "cope with the stress of living with me" quite well seeing as they are still here. I am still married and have my daughter, they haven't left and I haven't been declared as unfit because I don't "stress them out or they can't handle me or my illness" Not everyone with a mental disorder behaves the same way!

my daughter is adhd and even tho she can be a handful at times there are ways of getting her to settle down without pumping medication into her. and well howie mandel has ocd and he has a pretty good life. they are just people with problems likes you and me we all have problems some people can just hide theres better

Being that I am in that number, twoey, I would have to say that some people have told me that I am hard to get along with-mostly my kids, lol. I don't think I am hard to get along with at all, and I don't need anyone to take care of me. I find that I do much better on my own than when there are others around. I think that is the reason I found it was great when I finally moved into an apartment all my own. I felt a freedom that I had never experienced before. I'm a very easy going person as long as nobody annoys me. I think the problem is that most people who live with someone suffering from a mental illness don't go to the trouble of learning about the condition their loved one is affected by. I know that if I were in that situation I would try to learn all I could so that I could better relate to that person.

My middle son married a women with a son like this.He himself is disabled so he is at home all the time.It was hard at first and took alot off work. But they get along good now.His wife works so he does most off the care, sometimes I wonder about that.But I support him as much as I can.I lived with them for a while and helped him out.

Living with someone with mental illness is stressful. I watch the people around me do it daily. Also, living as the person with the mental illness is not a picnic either. I myself hav depression, ADHD, obsessive compulsive disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, caused by being molested as a child/teenager. The person that is actually mentally ill does realize they are ill, and its hard on them just as it is on those around them. We know something is wrong, we just can't or don't know how to make it stop. Believe me, I can feel it when my brain switches gears, but I can't stop it!

Knowing me I would probably become pushy in an effort to be helpful and caringly concerned. I know I would not be able to cope long term. I would be pretty nasty in a short space of time actually and I'd be thinking...this behaviour is a choice in part, and I'd be fervently wishing they would stop the behaviour. I think I would go over the edge myself pretty quickly. I've been in a couple of difficult situations and things did not go well. If I'm not directly involved, I'm ok. If it was my child and I got to hate the life, I would have to have them committed. I have thought about this and I hate feeling this way. I can look after people, kids or the elderly, if they are ill with no problem. But copeing with any of those conditions you mentioned...no way Jose. Maybe if I had some formal training so I had a better understanding I could be better. But I'm very much afraid this is possibly the worst aspect of me and who I am.

One of my sister-in-laws is bipolar, and she has to take a big bag along with her that contains all her pills. She has to take some every hour, some every two hours, etc. and they are all on a big paper pill bag and when she needs to take one, she tears off the insert. Of course, they are all labeled. Her husband, my husband's brother is an easy going type of person, but they told us that most cases, there is usually a divorce, but they have been married for so long and love each other, that they would not think about it. They had a hard time while the doctors were trying to find out what medicines work and they have a daughter who is a teacher. My sister-in-law was in a mental facility but now she is better as the medicine works. I think once they get bad enough, they should be put in the mental hospital rather than out patient visits. My sister=in-law was on the latter regimen and if she had been in the institution, they would have found out what worked sooner.

I can't imagine how hard it is to take care of a person who is mentally ill. I know I don't have enough patience to take care of them alone. I guess I would have to send them to the best facility I could find.But if I were just a friend or family member that just comes to visit, I wouldn't voice my opinion on what the main caregiver should do. They are closer to the person and they know better than I what goes into caring for the person. So instead of talking and saying my piece, I would listen to them and give them all the support I could. They would have to make the final decision.

Well, I have a severe mental illness and live in a board and care. If I never told most people, they would never know. In my heart I believe that people with mental illness are that way mostly do to anger that they were not able to handle or deal with effectively. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which is mostly behavioral. Learned behavior. This was developed from a childhood of abuse. When a child is mistreated by those who should love them, it breaks down the trust barrior, pretty much for life. Children also learn maladaptive ways of handling things. Because this is all they have learned, it carries on into adulthood. So, what you have is a bunch of adults doing things that you would only expect a child to do. Neverless, people with mental illness need love and compassion. I think, more than the average person. I do understand, however, that sometimes a person's illness can be over-whelmiing to those who are caring for them. It is easy to call the authorities and have someone committed. It takes a little more love to find out if they actually need to be committed, as there are other alternatives to that.

Our son has Asperger's, ADHD, ODD, OCD and they suspect he's bipolar (unconfirmed) and several other unconfirmed diagnosis. It was difficult to live on a rigid schedule with no room for spontaneity. He stopped taking his medications when he was told (by persons in authority who should know better) that he's an adult and doesn't have to do anything against his will. It's been rocky (rockier) since then. Many ups and downs --- and the downs are horrible. Personally, I have recurring depression (S.A.D.) I don't avoid people with any disabilities but I never offer to help so as to not step on toes or offend.

What I did was research it online. Always remember that it is an illness and that to treat a person with respect & dignity is the best thing you can do. With medication and other types of theraphy, a person with a mental illness can live a "normal" life. We have alot of family with it and I have depression so we have learned to live with it and deal with the problems.

Living with anyone who has a mental illness does create a huge amount of stress. Anyone who claims otherwise is living in denial or has never been the stable person in a home where someone is mentally ill. Yes, with treatment, some of the diseases can be controlled but even then, they are not cured. It is often impossible to tell where the disease behavior ends and where it is just the person's personality begins. An important thing to remember is that a person who is mentally ill does not really see things are the outside world does so they do not understand that they are causing any stress at all most of the time. In addition, a severe episode often results in the mentally ill person losing memory of events that happened during the most difficult times. The stress, which the mentally ill person will deny, causes emotional damage to the well members of the household. Excellent information and support is available from NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). Their Family to Family classes and support groups can help create a better understanding of brain disorders and offer an outlet for suffering (but well) family members. A great book that gives personal, in-depth looks into living with a mentally ill family member is When Madness Comes Home by Victoria Secunda.

My husband suffers from depression and it has sometimes been very difficult but I have been lucky in the early years both my family and my husbands family were very supportive and as my daughters have grown they have been supportive. Sometimes I look back and think their childhood could have been better if I had left their dad but I love him so did not want to leave.

Several years ago I was the live in manager of a group home for people with mental illness. Most of the time they were just like any one else when they were on their medication. Some of them had jobs. Unless they are a danger to them selves or others no one else can put them into a mantal facility. The only thing you can do is encourage them to go if they are acting out. I would treat them like any one else. Many times the family find it very hard to deal with mentally ill people because they don't understand and just want to know that they are safe and other than that they tend to stay away. that is because they can't really do any thing for the mentaly ill person and it breaks their heart.

When things got to the point where everyone else's stress level was rising on a daily basis due to having to deal with the individual, then it is time for some kind of a change. I would be looking into a nice facility where their problems could be addressed and there needs attended to. At the very least they could learn a nice skill like basket weaving or finger painting. At least everyone else's life could get back to normal.

My brother in law has cebral palsy and he was being watched by his oldest brother. The brother got cancer and passed away. My husband is the youngest of 7 and we decided his brother could come live with us. He is not able to cook or do laundry but he does bath himself and he is doing better now than he has ever done. It is very stressful being a caregiver and I hope there's a special place in heaven for us. My brother in law does display a lot of disorders due to his cebral palsy but he trys to do the behavioral thing every now and again but when he first came here it was pathetic. Now being off medication and me working with him. I call him on his behavioral actions all the time but everyone has commented on how well he is doing and what a change they all see in him. If and when he is unable to bath himself or go to the bathroom alone I will have no other choice but to put him in a nursing home because I am not a well person, but I will never put him there and walk away. I would always go visit and do as much as I can like feed him if he needed help or do the things I am capable of. Take Care

Our son is bi-polar. When he was younger, he would miss his meds and go off a bit... it eventually cost him his marriage. But that was a good lesson for him... he stays on the medication now, and has learned to control his mood swings. We were slways supportive of what he and his doctors were trying to do. After a few false starts, it appears that he is in control nearly all of the time now. We hope it can stay this way for him.

I, myself, suffer from chronic depression. I am on meds forever and am happy to say, I am doing very well. I don't get too down and haven't in over 2 years. It helps to have a supportive family. I also have ADHD which only rears its ugly head when I was in school. My son also has ADHD. He, too, is on meds. He is definately much easier to handle with the meds than without. Hopefully he will outgrow most of it like I did. It can be very stressful at times with my son, especially without the meds. He bounces off the walls constantly. With meds, he's as normal a 9 year old as you will find.