Do you have nasty inlaws.......

I'm a little confused. I'd like to offer some advice, but first I need some clarification. If it's your siblings mother-in-law, why do you need to concern yourself with her at all? She isn't your family. Simple avoid her and save yourself the trouble of dealing with her. There's no point in hanging around people who irritate us only to complain about it when we have the choice to NOT be around them in the first place. As for your question, ALL of my inlaws, save one. My husband is a great man ... but he's a rarity in his family. His mother is a drunk, ethically hollow person who shifted him off to foster care when he was a kid so she could marry a child molester. Although my husband convinced me to give her a chance many years later, she ran up our phonebill into the thousands, stole money from my purse, called my oldest 2 children a few interesting swear words and then disappeared for years. She resurfaces every now and then to hurt my husband some more. I've since barred her from my home, permenantly. I've told my husband that I will not come between him and his mother, but that she is not welcome in my home or around my children. He can go out to see her if he pleases. He doesn't, agreeing with me that she'll never change and is purely a detriment. I haven't seen her now in 5 years. It's been a very peaceful 5 years, lol. As for the rest of his family, his sisters a moron who left her husband, taking their 4 children, to move across the country and move in with some guy she met on the internet, not even giving the kids' father a chance to say goodbye. And THAT is probably the most polite example I can give. We have nothing to do with her either. His father is a truck driver who hasn't bothered to come see his son in more than 12 years. I've never met him and likely never will .. just another deadbeat. And the rest of his family is pretty much the same. He has ONE family member, out of one big family, that I sincerely like .. his one aunt. We see her often, and thank heavens each time she isn't like the rest of them. In laws can be a pain, but we have to pick and choose our battles. If they are doing something detrimental or harmful, having to put up with them no longer means a thing. We each have the right to restrict access to our lives and our homes of those we consider a physical or emotional danger to ourselves or our families. I would say the racist remarks qualify, as does the drinking, in your case.

I understand you dont want your family hurt! I had some nasty mother in law, and even told my husband I didnt like her..froim the first time I talked to her on th ephone the very first weekend I met my husband she decided to talk to me about his ex and how much she loved her...I"M SORRY but you dont do that! We have been getting better, in fact the last time she came to vist for two weeks, we had a great time, all because I decided that this is my house..i dont give two hoots what she has to say about me, and I did what I always did everyday! my question is how com eyour sibling does not stand up for herself??