An update on my youngest stepson ...

I remember the post very well sweetheart and I feel so bad that he hasn't called back. I also remember dicussing that he may just be thoughtless rather than malicious and that makes me think that if you wrote him a letter letting him know how you and your daughter felt it could be very effective as he probably has no conception that you are feeling so bad about the situation! This is where I would normally say that although you have to explain how you feel you should not express anger or be accusatory but as it is you I am talking to know that you wouldn't do that anyway! If it was me I think I would definitely go with the letter - after all it just might help if you explain that you would both love to be involved in his life in any way possible! I wish you lots of luck with whatever you do sweety and am very hopeful it will work out just fine! xxxx

I went back and read your orignal post before replying to this one. I don't know all your specifics, but I am/will be on both sides of your dilema... When I was a teenager, my parents divorced, my father remarried and I lived with him and my step-mother. My father passed away a couple years ago - very unexpectedly. Although me and my siblings are all grown and have our own children, and I am the only one that lived with my father, step-mother and step-sister, we are all still very close. I am dreading the day my step-mother becomes invovled with another man, although I don't want her to be alone all her life either. So, from my experience as a step-child I don't know why your step-son would not involve you in he life... I am also a step-mother. My husband's son has very little to do with us and his daughter has nothing to do with us. We had a very difficult patch in the beginning and I feel their mother blames us for their marraige breaking up - although I came along 2 years after the divorce. My step-children (teenagers at the time and now young adults) will probably never tell us about the events that happen in their lives - we find out most of it from friends and other family members. I had a dream once (and mine tend to come true) that a teenager showed up on our doorstep and it was my step-daughters daughter that we never met. I hope that never happens to us, but it is very likely. My step-children were raised to think that step-families mean nothing. My mother-in-law is not their biological grandmother, although it is the only grandmother they have known. She had been constantly reminded that she is not their real grandmother. I find this appaling, because I was not raised like that. I do not know if either of my situations compares with yours, but there may be many reasons for your step-son's behaviour. I do hope that he is not shutting you out on purpose. If he is not answering your phone calls, maybe a letter would work. Tell him what you feel, be truthful but don't place blame. If you get no response from a letter, maybe you can ask one of your other step-children to act as a mediator for your daughters sake? Best of luck to you!!!!

My suggestion is to try phoning him again. Hopefully you can reach him...try him at different times of the day in an effort to catch him. If this fails than you could send the letter...He should know how his sister feels...Hopefully he can somehow mend the bridge.....However, if he does not realize than there is no hope of mending their relationship. I am praying for the best possible outcome on this one Mom and hope that your daughter's heart is open when her brother does make the move!:)

I think that I would write him the letter and be truthful and honest, but not hateful. Just explain to him that your daughter wants to keep the family contact and that she is hurt because it seems like he is dismissing her. I hope that things work out well for all of you, but you need to be prepared either way, whether he wants to stay in contact or not. Good luck! I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.