What's the Worst thing you did when you were so incredibly angry?

Philippines
September 30, 2007 7:37am CST
Someone said, "He who angers you, controls you." And whoever said that knew what they were talking about. In my whole life, when someone made me so mad, either I swallow that anger and try to take deep breaths. But when I got married, there were a couple of incidents that I lost it. Yap! I was so mad at my husband that during that first time, whatever I can get my hands on, I threw across our bedroom. I was alone in the room because I didn't want my son to see me looking like that. I couldn't stop myself at that time. I only knew that I have to let out that anger one way or another. The result, was a very, terribly messy room. The second time it happened again, during one of our arguments, I lost it again. BUT, this time I chose the stuff that I had to throw!lol And I'm serious about this. Imagine being so mad at that time, that I had to let out that anger again, but I remember the first time that I threw everything and the end result. So, while I was in the process of wanting to throw something, I was also carefully choosing what to throw that won't make me take forever to tidy it up! But thankfully, I'm over those outbursts!It had been already a year since those incidents. And now, I'm more in control of myself when I'm mad. What I do is to snuff out immediately the rising negative emotion so I don't have to deal with it eventually. What about you?
6 people like this
15 responses
@cefaz_21 (2596)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
Why is that my dear? because when I was not married too, I am very composed, I keep all the anger inside me and just cry and cry as my outlet, but when I got married I lost it, so when me and my husbnad have some serious arguments,I can't help but express my disappointments and anger. here's the list of I think my worsest; 1.some CD's broken into small pieces by my bare hands. 2. hurt hands because I tried to box/hit the wall of our room. 3. clothes on the floor..I only threw clothes. LOL
• United States
1 Oct 07
My last time I got arrested for smashing up the car from Drunk driving, and then I got thrown out of the house, so I was homeless for three weeks.
2 people like this
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
hello cefaz. I think the reason behind it is that we get disillusioned. Well, that's how exactly how I felt when I was on the process of crying while throwing things across the room. I felt at that time, "Where is the happily-ever-after that we were supposed to have?" When I married my husband, I thought all the days of our lives will be filled with laughter, teasing and just every wonderful thing I can think of. But reality smacks me in the head and heart, pretty hard. And maybe that's why my patience snapped. Like you, I just cry when I was still unmarried. For the three things you've done, " a very big ouch! to number 1 and 2. ^_^ And for number 3, I did that, too! Actually, after I was done with the throwing of things, I went straight to the wardrobe and threw OUT ALL OF HIS CLOTHES! But a few hours later, I was the one who had to clean it all up.lol!
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
hi mark. oops! to that. It will really get you into trouble when you're drunk and have no firm control of what you're doing. Who threw you out of the house?
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
When I was young, I was more of a blabber when I got mad and I end up hurting someone longer. I do recall when my sister gets mad though, she used to ruin/destroy our nice things at home. We both learned from it. And like you, we both think twice if we wanted to throw something (sometimes wishing that it won't break LOL) I believe the best medicine in taking your attention from that anger is to walk out and go for a long walk. This really helps, and other than that, you start to clean up your house, instead of throwing things, it helps focus your attention on cleaning dirty areas. (^_^) It does take a lot of mind control though, but if you let your mind rule over matter/your anger, you won't have to go through the same experience.
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
hi fortunebee. I completely agree with you on focusing our anger on other things. Now that I'm more in control of my anger, because I can't do the walking out thing, I do the cleaning thing.^_^ It really helps a lot, especially if my husband gives me a reason to be mad again. Sometimes I can do cleaning for 5 hours straight, and not feel tired. Because I'm still boiling mad! And it gives me the adrenalin that I need to keep on cleaning.
• Philippines
30 Nov 07
hi again. putting our anger to good use, is a very wise move.^_^ NOt only we get to clean the house, perfectly, we're even sure that no one gets hurt anymore.lol! Sometimes, when I'm mad, I redirect that anger on something like a bad stain in the bathroom. And I go get a brush, and brush like there's no tomorrow.^_^
• Philippines
27 Nov 07
That's good to hear! I know after I responded to your discussion, I've been doing the same. It works in keeping the place organized and clean. (^_^)
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
30 Sep 07
LAst time I was angry I was pushing garbage can wrong and cussing and stompping and the garbage can started rooling and I couldnt stop it and I fell on the darn thing and got a great big bump on my shim bone. But I have thrown things too and hit a brick wall that also messed up my hand for weeks . SOme times you can control it but it isnt good to hold back for when it does break loose ya might hurt yourself or some one. A long walk is very good to get out of system and dont hurt any one even yourself lol
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
1 Oct 07
ya like ya stood back and watched huh? Take a stick with ya on the dogs where is the dog catcher that they havent picked the dogs up?
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
Ouch! That must have hurt bad. I like your suggestion of having a long walk to let out all the steam. Unfortunately, I can't do it here. There are a couple of stray dogs outside our house. And these dogs are little, grumpy ones! I wanted to punch someone, too before. But there was no one else. lol! So, I resorted to the throwing things stunt. But, the truth is, while I was doing it, I felt as if somebody else took over my personality. That wasn't me.
1 person likes this
30 Sep 07
Many years ago I was in a bad situation and for a long time I kept my temper until one evening when things got so bad that I completely lost it. I punched a hole in a wall.
2 people like this
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
Ouch! That must have hurt bad. You remind me of my brother, who seems to have an endless supply of patience. But just one day, during an argument with his wife, he didn't say a word. But he did put a hole in their wall. He later explained that he wanted to put all his negative emotions in that one punch through the wall rather than face his wife and may end up hurting her.
@raychill (6525)
• United States
30 Sep 07
I'm Irish and therefor I have the Irish temper. I go spend time with myself when I am angry so as to not say or do anything. I can be very vicious, especially with honesty and words, when I am angry. SO I choose to deal with my anger alone so that it does not bother anyone else.
2 people like this
@raychill (6525)
• United States
3 Oct 07
it's not being considerate...it's being the bigger person.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
Hi again! You're very considerate when it comes to other people's feelings. Because you're aware of what you're capable of saying, you chose to deal with your anger alone instead. There are some that I know who uses very lethal words when they're angry. I guess they just can't help it. They just have to let it all out regardless of who they hurt.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
30 Sep 07
The worst thing I done when I was so angry was I mess up the place. I throw everythig that I saw. I cried loud and long. But i tnever happened again. I was so furious only then that I lost control of myself.
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
hi iza. Like you, during those two outbursts of mine, while I was throwing things, I was crying so hard. We know that it's not good to do it, but it felt good. For my experience, after I was done with my throwing, I felt tired but at the same time, I felt as if a great weight was taken off me. And I can breathe normally again.
@balasri (26537)
• India
4 Dec 07
I get irritated at the pig pigheadedness of the people.But I control myself.Especially after once I got the abuse which I never deserve from a person for using bad words at him in anger.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
20 Dec 07
Very very tough job dear.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 07
my hats off to you, bala. It's a lot more difficult to control our anger when all we really want to do is to lash out.
• Philippines
20 Dec 07
I know that it can get very tough, trying to control our anger. Because I've done that so many times. What I do is to try taking deep breaths until I faint!lol! But seriously, I guess the best way is to walk out of that very heated situation.
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
4 Oct 07
I have this problem on my temper, I can't control it at times I do my best not to take such things or words the wrong way. I have a terrible mood swing, that I eaily erupt whenever I get offended. I get mad and furious at people who gossips and talks about me, especially when they invent things and add untrue words between the lines. It is really degrading and un-called for, since I know that I didn't do anything wrong at them. But I do my best to keep myself cool, then bite them back with my most sarcastic response that they'd never imagine in their whole life. Of course, those words that would come out of my mouth would be of the truth only and that it would be the most saddest truth they'll ever hear in their most pathetic lives!LoL
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
I really don't know why there are people who thrives on gossips. It's as if they will cease breathing if they stop doing it. I know what you mean, raijin. The neighbors we've had when I was a child were notorious when it comes to gossips. At least, you have the last laugh because of your remarks. That will show them to think twice before targeting on you again.
• United States
9 Oct 07
When I get mad I throw stuff too. Sometimes I just sit down and cry. Or sometimes I do both. lol Since my son has been born I try not to do it although sometimes that anger gets the best of me and I break down. I don't want him to see me doing it because I don't want him to learn to throw stuff when he's mad. So I do try to control my anger most of the time. I really don't get angry that often though.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Oct 07
I think sometimes, if we really can't hold on to that anger anymore, it's good to vent it out. Well, we just have to secure that no one will get hurt. and no one can see us, let out all that anger. Like you, I have never let my son see me so mad. The kind of mad thing that you want to throw everything in your path.^_^ But it felt good when I let it all out. And like you, it was good to cry it out, too.
@shikamaru (126)
• Indonesia
30 Sep 07
The worst thing I have done when I mad is hurting people who cares and love me. I dont want to hurt them so I tried so hard not to loose control when I get mad again. I tried not to get mad easily too
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
hello shikamaru. It's a good thing that you're doing your best to keep your anger in control. Because in the end, we are at the losing end if we let our anger control us. Maybe the people who loves you, know that you really don't want to do it. You're still trying to fight the anger.
• Indonesia
1 Oct 07
Its lot more tougher if you fought yourself than fighting a gangster. We dont even know when they started to make attack. We need to train our behaviour, our habit and we could take full controll to our emotion, make us a healthy life, physically and emotionally.
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Oct 07
Hi there.. I really appreciate your open, honest descriptions about the times you were angry and what you did to vent it. Earlier in life I used to have a really short fuse...but not any more. It took a lot of inner and spiritual devlopment to reach this point and overcome intense anger carried over as unfinished business from my past. Oddly enough my hubby and I were laughing about one of my outbursts yesterday. We had only been married about a year. It started out with an argument with my Mom..I was so mad at her...you know the spattering Daffy Duck..foot stomping mad that reletives can bring out in us. Then David said something that added fuel to my already ranging fires and things ignited for me. I ran upstairs and frantically looked around for something to beat on. Hubby had left an empty 1 litre coke bottle in our bedroom and there was a metal bookshelf with a few items on it. With eyes blazing I knocked everything off it in one fell swoop and started beating the metal table to a pulp with the plastic bottle. Each hit allowed me to purge the waves of anger welling up within me. "Wham, Wham...Smack..Boom...Bang!!!! I kept it up until every bit of my rage was spent. Then I sank down on the floor and looked at the poor metal shelf bent and battered in the middle and looking prety pathetic...and I started to laugh with deep gutteral giggles that filled in the void my anger had left. When David heard me laughing he came up and tentatively opened the bedroom door and asked if I was okay. I smiled at him and said with a big grin on my face..."Now I am...I feel much better!" He came over, sat down beside me and gave me a hug. We sat quietly and then he said in a whimsical way..."Mayabe you'd better go downstairs and let the animals know you are okay...when you started venting they headed bug-eyed to the back door and circled the wagons. They are all sitting by the door...waiting and wondering what is going on. I went downstairs, reasurred them and the house returned to normal. To me anger is not a bad thing...it is usually a signal that something within us is not been attended to...especially when it is really intense. When I was working through the negative impact of my father's abuses anger was part of how I took my power back. The emotion is part of what makes us human. In my exprience anger comes from hurt, disappointment, injustice and expectations not met. Getting in touch with that can be healthy...as long as we do not hurt others or ourselves in the process. Sounds as though your outbursts and mine were discharged in ways that did inflict pain on our loves ones...we just created a mess and a bent table...so we caused harm to none...and opened the door to emotions that needed an outlet. Could have been a lot worse! So once again it is great to be discussing other parts of who we are and how we cope. Like you I have worked through intense anger from my past...now my approach is to observe frustratring fricking frack emotions as they come up and handle them in much saner ways than I once did. 'Being in the moment' rather than supressing feelings has helped me to handle whatever comes up in a more grounded way. Too awhile to get here...but it is easier on me and everyone I love. Topics like these that allow us to share all of our humanity are great..thanks for creating a chance to do that... Your pal Raia
• Canada
7 Oct 07
Hi again...thanks for your comments...and the best response. Hearing that you smiled is great. In retrospect the way it played out was funny...David and still chuckle about it...and the animals response to the whole thing. He said it was if they were thinking.."Oppps...she has a real mad on...we'll cower together in the corner until she gets over it...and herself! Who says animals can't reason..but it probably was closer to going into survivor mode! LOL Anyhow always enjoyable sharing our 'perspectives' at your site or mine. Raia
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Oct 07
lol!Raia, I could vividly imagine what you described!^_^ Especially the way you whacked the metal frame!Oh, I understand completely about feeling better after we have let it all out! I'm sorry but I really can't help smile. Especially at that part when DAvid wasn't so sure if the coast is clear. And you laughing afterwards.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
1 Oct 07
Years ago and like you when I was first married, I got so upset I threw an object randomly which ended up breaking a window that I had to replace. I know the kind of rage you are talking about. It is rare that i have ever gotten physical with objects when angry and never with people. I am a very laid back person as a rule but when someone pushes me to my limits, there is another side. My mouth is my biggest weapon and while many people have known me their entire lives and never seen me angry, some will attest to the fact that I do have a boiling point. It is not pretty and I'm not proud of it at all.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Oct 07
I think it's common for people like us to react that way. I mean, we do try to stretch our patience and understanding, but when it's just too much, then we just snap. Like you, sid, my husband is not prone to showing his anger easily. As much as he can tolerate it, he will. I've seen him pretty mad, fortunately, I wasn't the reason. And I was taken aback at the transformation it did to him. Nowadays, when I get so mad, I don't resort to throwing things anymore. Because I know I'll be the only one who will clean up the mess. When I'm so mad, usually, at my husband, I turn on the radio so loud, listen to Robbie William's songs and do some cleaning.
@joshboz (1209)
• Australia
3 Oct 07
as for me, its really unimaginable i can do things i normally cannot do when im in normal mood. i have hypertension that's why im very very patient and try to prevent my anger to burst out. its because when it will happen its a sucide for me because i dont know the extend of controlling it. i may die becasue of severe hypertension but together with it is my rage of anger. i hope and pray that god help me to overcome it and make my patient grows more.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
Oh, oh, josh. You really should be more careful when you're angry. My mother has hypertension too, and my siblings and I tend to worry over her when she's boiling mad over something.
@Kunal11 (28)
• India
30 Sep 07
it is hard to control anger but lemme tell you it is the best thing to do and you know what they say "kill anger before it kills you" knowing this anybody sensible enough would want to control anger but wanting wont help will power will i try to control it to a certain extent however excessive of controlling only make people believe that it is your weakness which is not a good thing
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
hello kunal. Yes, you're right. Stop the growing anger inside us, before it can totally consume us. It can be hard but it will be worth it. It will take a lot of self-discipline to be able to swallow down our anger or force ourselves to just walk it off and cool down.
@KH0389 (56)
• United States
30 Sep 07
LOL, I have a slight anger 'issue'...I bottle things up until it all comes out on one person (when sometimes they don't even instigate anything)...I have gone as far as hitting someone several times (got in BIG trouble at HS). I've hit my husband a couple times after saying 'hi' to me after a very very VERY stressful day...Those strikes are EXTREMELY rare, I think it's only happened two or three times in my life. I have never resorted to throwing things, I guess I skipped over that part. "He who angers you, Controls you..." Man don't I agree!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
Hi! How did your husband deal with what happened? I was like that way, too. Because I don't want to be a nag to my husband, I just keep all the frustrations and resentment I feel towards him. But in the end, it gets too much for me. I guess that's the reason why I did the throwing things stunt!