If i shoud change? Is it my life?
@changqingshuHappy (28)
China
October 2, 2007 6:40am CST
Love sometimes reall puzzeled me. I loved a girl so much during my high shool time. She didn't refused me at that time but when we were admitted by two different universitys. she dumped me. I have never hated her or blamed her cause i know we have reall different life. I always want hasten with her and walk into her life.But i failed time and time again. she always dreamed of luxurious life and her ideal husband shoud be someone. when i know that i try my best to pursue my carrer iwant to know i am competent to her husband but i lost myself. Recentlly when i landed her blog i get apoint from her note that what she need is just a peaceful and warmful life. stay with her husband,cooking for her family,drink acup of tea beside the window when it is a winter,maybe have a little argument with her relatives. So easy to fufill nut so far from me. she changed but left something she had ever dreamed for to me and almost became to be my major power for living.Mybe i still hold some unrequited love to her though i don't want to admmit but i really fell what i am pursuing still has conection with her more or less. shoud i chang? what is my life?
6 responses
@wseayuan (372)
• China
2 Oct 07
Hi,friends ,from what you said,i know you once love her deeply. You love her and want her live happily.When you found you can give what her want ,you didn't explain that she dump you.That is true love.But now ,you know what she want is simply,and you still love her. what shou u do? I think if one of you two have marrided,you shouldn't make your lives change. Because a marrage is not easy and maybe blessing each other will good.What about you ? If not ,you can just purse your love. Actually,our lives are all very easy,including you .U want just a virtous wife ,a life patner . What u need is also very simply. Just my own opinion.Wish you happy!!!
@changqingshuHappy (28)
• China
11 Oct 07
Life is real simple if you hold a peaceful heart to observe it!Mybe happyness just comes from it's peaceand true. I preciate your answer!
@xingkong178 (298)
• China
2 Oct 07
dear friends,you are very faithful ,i feel regret that your girl dont value it .i just have some words to you:love is a complicated thing, the best way to face it is take it naturally.
@changqingshuHappy (28)
• China
11 Oct 07
Thanks for your short answer! I agree with you so i am walking in that way.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
3 Oct 07
You have to move on.
it seems that you two were not made for each other or were not destined for each other.
I have seen this situation in some close friends, where love was one sided.
May be you were not close to her ideal husband.
I salute your love for her, but may be she is not worth you.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
If she really loves you then she would accept the things that she knows you can offer to her. I guess you have to talk to her and asked her if she could accept you just the way you are. I think you are already giving the best of what you have. If you would change yourself, its because you want it... not because she wanted to.
@chym1101 (169)
• China
3 Oct 07
hello, changqinshuhappy. The best type of affection is reciprocally life-giving; each receives affection with joy and gives it without effort, and each finds the whole world more interesting in consequence of this reciprocal happiness. So love is not one changes himeself or herself for the partner.Love need understanding but not compel! You love the girl so much that you want to give her what she want and hesitate to change! Do not change yourself for anyone. Because no one deserves you change, and the change is not allowed if he or she deserves.
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
2 Oct 07
I think it's because you never had any closure. The girl didn't tell you why she dumped you and this is one reason why you're still clinging on her. If she's still single and you still want to be with her, then go for her. If you want to know if you still have a chance to be with her, why don't you just ask her? If you still wonder if you're good enough for her, go ahead and ask her. It's easier that way, even though it might be hard to do. After all, if you don't have a chance to be with her, you'd better know it already so that you can grieve and move on instead of trying to catch her shadows.
