what if you overheard someone insulting your mother behind her back?
By secretbear
@secretbear (19448)
Philippines
October 5, 2007 3:47am CST
If I could just write CURSES here I would write a MILLION CURSE I COULD THINK OF!!!!
I can't believe I'm writing again about my officemate that annoys me to the nth level! what a schtoopid b!+tch she is!
so there I was in the toilet because I was charging my cellphone and there was an outlet there. its my boss's private toilet and its near my table so I can basically hear all that's being said outside, near the phone, near my table, even to the next department!
so this b!+ch, apparently not knowing I was in the toilet was sending some letter thru our fax machine. I had a vague idea that the letter came from my mother's department because her secretary and the b!+tch was arguing about it a while ago.
and this b!+ch, kept complaining that my mother's department always make letters late and always in rush and not making it early. she was talking with another officemate and she dropped the bomb words within my hearing reach. "why did she (my mother) put the "for" here?? she doesn't have any COMMON SENSE."
I threw my cellphone and I immediately went out from the toilet and she noticed me and she instantly shut her mouth. but since I was not sure that the letter came from my mother's department, I didn't say any word at her. I waited for her to go back to her department and then I asked my officemate which she was talking with what was the letter about.
the letter came from the department where my mother is the boss. the d@mn€d letter is supposed to be signed by my boss which is the big boss here but she's not here and the second in command is also not here so there's a problem.
apparently, my mother and the big boss have talked about it and it was agreed that my mother will signed for her putting the word "for". but its really not allowed so my mother signed below the big boss name. normally, it should be above the big boss' name but since my mother is not authorized, she for-red below the big boss's name.
blood rushed to my head. I was insanely mad. I was shaking and I felt like I wanted to hurt someone. badly hurt someone. instead of confronting her however, I went to my officemates in another department and told them about it just to cool my head. I don't like confrontations and I always thought I'm much better than stooping down the b!+ch's trash level. my officemates said I should just let the b!+ch be coz nobody listens to her anyway and a lot of people are already mad at her.
so I cooled down but the incident is another major negative point for her in my list. I hope she won't go to heaven.
12 people like this
30 responses
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
5 Oct 07
Well... you should cool down...
Because what happen in the office has nothing to do with your personal life or your mother.
There is a time and a place for everything. They might have had a valid reason for complaining about it. Just because she is your mother... does not mean that she is perfect.
If your mother has a problem in the office... she does not need you to look after her. The fact that she achieved the position that she is in shows that she can look after herself.
2 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
6 Oct 07
The fact of the matter is... there is no room in the office for your personal relationship between you and your mother.
If there is a problem... it is up to your mother to take care of it. Not you. Don't forget that you got that job because of your mother.
If you start a personal vendetta against that person... there is a chance that this person could go see your mother's boss. Not only do you put your job at risk... but also the job of your mother.
2 people like this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
what happened had become too personal. she went way below the line. if she has complains about my mother's department, then she should it say it formally and respectfully. not INSULT anyone.
and besides, there is nothing wrong with my mother. i am her daughter yes, but i am not praising her because of that. my mother knows her work. and i've heard a lot of people in the office are praising her. i even get embarassed by it sometimes when they tell me their expectations of me. my mother is not perfect but she knows her work. she hasnt let any personal matters come between her and her work. and as far as i have told, there is no problem with my mother's performance in the office. in fact, there's a rumor that she's going to be promoted.
the b!+ch is the one way off line. and im going to do something about it.
1 person likes this
@ihearttinytim (614)
• United States
27 Apr 08
It sounds to me like the one doing all the complaining about your mother is just simply jealous that your mother is in the position she is in. I hate jealousy in the workplace. Innocent people have lost good jobs because of backstabbing and gossip from jealous co-workers. that is the point with bullies in the workplace; they are jealous that you got the promotion, so they try to make it look like you're incompitent when you aren't - just so they'll have a chance at the position once you get fired over the gossip that gets believed.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Oct 07
I'd be livid too!
Obviously, she isn't a very nice person and doesn't know how to talk. And most people in your office seem to know that.
I think someone needs to talk to her and let her know that she's really putting people off the way she talks and that no one seems to pay much attention to what she's saying because of it.
Being silent doesn't work because she's just going to kep doing it till someone bursts! I don't mean fight but someone (not you right now) SHOULD tell her!!
Well....she sure won't go to heaven if she continues this way!
2 people like this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
she had done this many times before and a lot of people here knows that she's a b!+ch to the bone. her immediate superior had reported her to the administration but the admin's advice is to file a complaint.
so im thinking of writing a letter and demand an apology from her. not just to me but to my mother. she had crossed me before but i had forgiven her about it. but insulting my mother who is far more respectable and smarter than her schtoopid azz??? i'll make sure she'll get what she deserves. i got a lot more vile than she ever know.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
she sure doesnt have the right to work there! and to think her work involves dealing with people! i dont think how people have managed to work with that kind of hag with that kind of attitude.
i am formulating in my mind the letter of complaint i am going to write. she will definitely gonna get it!
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
5 Oct 07
I would be very upset with her myself. First of all, she needs to keep her insults to herself especially in the workplace. She doesn't sound like a very professional person. You really shouldn't even bother with her because she is not worth your time, stooping to her level is exactly what she would want you to do. So, just hold your head high. The honest truth is your mother is a manager and she is not. so, what can she say? she is just jealous of others success and says these things to make herself feel more superior, but she only succeeds in looking like a fool. Your not the only one who sees it, just stay calm, you should honestly feel sorry for her because she is so pitiful that she has to resort to such tactics. So, just ignore her. She wants that attention and if everyone feeds into it, then she will have more power.
2 people like this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
you put it all very well mamasan. that kind brought some light to my clouded mind.
she's really not professional. do you know that she even shouts at her own boss? she acts as if she's a boss. and she acts as if the agency owes her something for working there well in fact, she owes the agency for letting her work there.
and you're right about her being jealous. she's very envious of anyone who gets something or gets promoted. and she get vile with her jealousy, spreading bad rumors about the person/s.
and yeah, people in the office already knows her character and i think they have been used with her attitude and they just let her be since she's just making a fool of herself. i let her be when she crossed me before. but what happened yesterday just cant be taken sitting down, at least for me.
i will surely not confront her in front of many people and talk as if i am not educated. im going to take this the right way.
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
7 Oct 07
That's a very good attitude to have. If this is something that you feel is just totally unacceptable maybe you can speak with her and her manager together (because you will want a witness, to keep her from spreading rumors) about what you heard her saying about your mother/fellow employee. That it is unacceptable behavior in the workplace and is not appreciated. I don't know what else you could do other than that. I have had to do that myself in the past. It is not easy. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with her. I know it is not pleasant to have someone like that just making your work harder.
2 people like this
@raychill (6525)
• United States
5 Oct 07
That's a tough call. See, it's perfectly normal to complain about folks that you work with and I think that in some ways your officemate had every right to speak her mind about your mother, as it's someone that she has to deal with in a work situation. Granted, because its your mother, that turned it into a personal thing to you.
This is why family should never work for each other. When work becomes personal things take a turn for the worse. However, you don't work for the same company so that is good.
What you should probably have done, what I would have done... was just to come out of the bathroom once you heard her start to say something about your mother. Politely tell her that that woman was your mother and you would appreciate it if you didn't have to hear her speaking ill of her. By doing that you would not have been stooping to a bad level.
Also, I'm sorry but I don't know...that just doesn't sound that horrible, what she said about your mother. I guess because sometimes I wonder where my own mothers common sense is. Also, you've gotta remember that maybe she didn't know that your mother was allowed to put that "for" there...or whatever.
Family and work should not mix and you should not let personal things interfere with your work.
2 people like this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
its perfectly normal to compalin about work and people at work if its about work. i complain too. but she's too much. and way offline. she doesnt complain like a normal subordinate does. she complain as if she's the boss. she even shouts at her boss.
i would have done that and tell it to her face but as i've said i wasnt really sure if the letter came from my mother's department. i had to make sure first before i react right????
my mother sometimes lose her common sense, at home. but never at work. fine, the b!+ch didnt know about protocols about letters, but that doesnt give her the right to insult whoever signed in it. its veru uncalled for.
1 person likes this
@raychill (6525)
• United States
6 Oct 07
Well I was just giving you my opinion... and again in my opinion saying someone doesn't have any common sense is not nearly as bad as I don't know...say calling someone a B|otch.
What she does at work though, yelling at her boss and such, you can complain about it...which solves nothing. You could talk to someone in HR about it, which could potentially cause worse problems or solve it. or you can just ignore it and go about your work and care about yourself.
I don't know. I just, I'm sorry, I can't see this fom your point of view. I'm trying, but I've seen much worse at my jobs that keep outweighing something like "no common sense". and I just don't think complaining about it is going to solve anything.
I'm sorry she upset you so much though.
and after the fact, you still could have said something.
2 people like this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
5 Oct 07
Secret dotn take it to heart. I know you are hurt and annoyed just leave her to time and someone else. She will indeed say the wrong the thing about the right prson and gets what she justly deserves. I am gald you did not confront her though but ignore her. You mom did not do anything worng and I think your co-worker is just jealous and mean. Some people are like that just dont sink to her level.
2 people like this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
she's not just mean. she's way meaner than the meanest person here on earth! okay that's super exaggerated but you get my point.
i hope she'll get her karma soon.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
i wont be so kind to her, i wont pray for her soul. im not that kind to my enemies. let her loved ones do that for her. she can go to hell for all i care.
1 person likes this
@ihearttinytim (614)
• United States
27 Apr 08
Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. There's good reason for this.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
31 Oct 07
Honestly I just join in....assuming I'm not the one who started the rant that is....now if I LIKED my mother I would confront the person and put them in their place...but since I dont, it wouldnt phase me in the slightest..
2 people like this
@cefaz_21 (2596)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
oh my dear..here..drink this water..it will cool you down..breathe deeply...inhale....exhale..
hope you're doing ok now.
I understand how daughters can be sensitive when it comes to thier mom..I am also that protective and sensitive when it comes to my mother. I commend you for staying so cool and level headed upon that situation.
Don't worry I'll make sabunot that girl for you!
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
i'll join you with making sabunot that hag.
one of my officemates said that time will come that the b!+ch will meet her equal that will make ngudngod her face to the floor. i'll be glad when that time comes. she really has a vile mouth and would you believe that she had even crossed our second to the highest boss??? the nerve she got. and she's not even related to the big boss.
1 person likes this
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
Well i know how you feel, my neighbors are all like that. Talking at our back, coward to say to your face what they really wanted to say. They are backfighter, please don't indulge yourself with people like them. Be careful with them. If your Mother had done something wrong, she atleast make a way to talk to you since you went out inside a toilet, but she did not which makes me have a doubt on her personality. I avoid that kind of person, or i might kill people like them.No,i won't, i will waste my economical time to stupid person like them.
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
my mother had not done anything wrong. this is really making me emotional. have you read the whole description of my post grecy?? my mother is not at fault here.
the letter was rush because it is about an event which happened only last wednesday. it was a competition. the results came thursday and naturalmente they cant make any letter before that because they cant predict the winners. and they had to inform the winners because the awarding is saturday. and there was another activity under my mother's department so they were really busy. so the letter was made friday.
and the b!+ch has no right to complain because her only job is to send the letters and not make them. and the b!+ch has no right to insult my mother because she isnt in level with my mother. she's just my mother's azz.
she had crossed me before and i forgave her. and i didnt bring it to the attention of the bosses because i thought it was petty. and it was a waste of time since it was really her fault and not mine anyway. but this time, this is a daughter venting and i cannot let that uncalled for remark to just pass my d@mned ears!
1 person likes this
@fab315 (1231)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
Hello!!
secretbear the wrinkles!! *hehe* calm down...smile...
Ohh..that b!t)h should be thankful that i'm not you..or else she'll see what she's looking for! naks...-i'm brave- *hehe*
Really, i'm a descent person and civil, as much as possible like you I avoid confrontation. But if that happened to me, I would get mad for sure, I hate people like that. I would tell my mother about it and my mother will make sabunot of her and i'll join in! LOL!! my mother is the brave one...Seriously, I will not mind her at all. Just act deaf when it comes to her crap comments, knowing that she has a crappy character so don't bother at all. For sure your officemates don't believe her.
ciao! c",)
2 people like this
@sheenmadness (1286)
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Hello Secretbear,
Still upset huh!^_^ Don't be. Just don't let that b?tch go through your senses. Don't give her the satisfaction by letting her see that you got angry by what she did. She is no worth of your valuable time. Just pretend that nothing happened and ignore her. Do more valuable things in your precious time and definitely don't give a time for her. So Cheer up girl and Compose yourself again! :)
2 people like this
@ssf12ster (488)
• India
6 Oct 07
yeah uneed to calm down and let it go.or give a warning not to talk about yur mother again.anotehr word u wud have her job in limbo.yes this is all office frustration aimed at any body anywhere and unfrtunatly it tured out to be yur dear one. sorry.
2 people like this
@wishme_luck (249)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
ohhhhh that craft, people full of craft.anyway im a verry patient person you can hurt me but not the people i love specialy my family. im a fighter if i know i am right. dont dare insult my mother or you will see what you looking for. i can be a monster if i want too.
2 people like this
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
31 Oct 07
I will listen carefull on the stories he or she is telling about my mom. If it is something to be exactly the truth, even how it hurts, I will just ignore it. If it is partially true or no truth at all, I will confront on the person in private and will talk to her or him in a subtle manner. If he or she failed to give me a valid reason why he or she told those things against my mom, I will warn him or her not to do it again or else i will make it legal.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
6 Oct 07
A lot of people have done that to my mother, and I have done my best to defend her, but at times, it does not work in my favor. My mother has done things in her past that she is not proud of, and she has angered many people, but that still does not give a person the right to bad mouth my mother. My mother was only doing what she thought was right. The only time someone should be allow to bad mouth someone else's mother is if she has done something truly horrible, or if you are not getting along with your mother and you allow yourself and others to bad mouth her.
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
Hmm.. I'd really be fuming mad at them, since it is unethical to talk of things and complain when they can simply talk about it in a proper manner. I believe that what they do will not help resolve the situation, but to provide more misunderstandings and conflict at work.
I say be professional, tell them not to talk of things behind people's back. If they have problems, issues or concerns about their nature of work then it would be good to address and settle it in a more developing way.
As what I always say, adding up fuel to fire will not help solve the case. It's like, adding insult to injury.
@jumpinjack00 (3054)
• United States
5 Oct 07
Don't hold back my friend. Tell us what
you really feel. LOL
Under the same circumstances I would have
reacted just as you did. Never stoop to the
level of those who have wronged you. Her time
will come. You handled it well.
Glad you could vent your feelings with us.
‹(°¿°)›
2 people like this
@meanangel (167)
• United States
5 Oct 07
I did not speak to my grandparents for more than six years because they insulted my mother. Of course I told mom what was said and she was on my side and respected my wishes not to have contact with them. My brother still saw them so she did not hold a grudge and bore them no ill will but it was hard for me to forgive. In your situation it sounds more like this woman resents your mothers position in the company and is the type of person to run others down to get the position they desire. Some people can not feel good about themselves unless they a running someone else down. Hold your tounge as much as you can because this womans vile nature will be her undoing.
2 people like this
@MarieJ23 (1040)
• United States
5 Oct 07
I certainly wouldn't pass anything if it has to do with my family especially my Mom. Bring it on and you'll get what you want. LOL...I won't give a damn if she is older or has a higher position than me.
Friend,I admire you because you're able to hold back your temper, if it was me, Oh my goosh! I will really confront her. Good work gurl!
2 people like this
