Draw anyone to your side

I believe with what you say. Most of the times we want to change our partner in a way that will please us, but the point is we cannot do that. Changes should begin with his self and not from anybody else, no matter if you are a wife or a husband. You cannot force someone to change. The only thing that you can do is make him understand and its up to him to change or not.

You cant change your partner. If you try and change him then why are you with him? You are with him for the way he is. Thats what attracted you. If he changes, then you would never get to know who he realy is.

No, going into a relationship to change another person doesn't work. A friend of mine who got married first said that it was her mistake. She got into marriage with that kind of thought in her head. But it didn't work at all. In fact, it made her hubby become so defensive 'coz he felt that he wasn't good enough. It's a very bad thing when a spouse becomes defensive 'coz it'll be harder and harder for him/her to REALLY listen to you without feeling judged. I agree with you completely that if nobody can change other people if the other people aren't ready or willing to change themselves for the better.