DO I NEED TO SAVE THE FRIENDSHIP by FORGETTING HIS DEBT?

I can identify with your situation somewhat. I have many longtime friends. One of them approached me one day and said that in his dealings with his wealthy Indonesian customers, one of them asked him to help with a purchase of a house, but the person didn't remit money for a progress payment, so in order not to default he needed to raise some money first for the payment. As an old friend, I lent him several thousand dollars. He promised to pay me when he settled things with his client. Well, that was more than 10 years ago, and he hasn't returned the money yet. All these years, he didn't make any attempts to reach me to tell me his situation, or when he could return the money. He might have settled his housing situation with his client and have conveniently forgotten about my loan to him. For me, I am not trading our friendship with the debt he owed. Even if he didn't pay me, I still consider him a friend. But I am disappointed with him for being an irresponsible borrower. I don't mind writing off the debt (actually I have already discounted it) but I feel he should do the responsible thing, and tell me about his situation if he is in financial difficulties and still couldn't return the money. Keeping silence is I feel being irresponsible. One thing I have decided though is that I will not ever lend him money should he approach me again with another sob story about needing money. Since he has shown himself to be unreliable, and I will deal with him as such where borrowing of money is concerned. I think for your case, you can still try and reach out to him to collect what he owed you, but be prepared to write it off if he is purposely staying aloof and uncontactable. As for your friendship, it really depends on how much you value that with him.

Whew! It is truly amazing to know fellows of same experience. For me, I met her through a common friend. We started a business together and helped her set up. Until I decided to let her do the business but I still earn from it though she is the one managing. I earn by certain percentage. What was so unfortunate was, I lend her money. For two months now, I have not seen her. Not even relying to my emails. But I'm just hoping that I can still get in touch with her. We cannot remain victims Josh, we can still save the friendship and yet can collect what they owed us. Anyhow, you can still pursue a legal action to collect what was owed to you. Tell your friend that since you cannot talk it on yourselves, you needed someone or a legal representation to mediate. Friendship still can be saved, maybe, it is a way to reach out. A great day ahead!

First off you must know that lending money and friendship cannot co-exist easily. I have a philosophy about friends who need money and here is my approach: I don't have a lot of spare money as my wife stays at home to look after our little one. We carefully budget and are clear on how much spare money we have at any time. If I was to be asked for money I would explain that this amount (however much it was) was the money that I had spare for the month. This is my spare money and I am prepared to give it to you if you need it. I will NEVER lend money to friends or family (and I would NEVER borrow either). I can virtually guarantee that anyone who is a real friend will appreciate you sharing your spare money with them. If they ask to borrow when they already owe you money they are disrespecting you, and have no right to be regarded as a friend any more. If you want my advice, forget the friend and the debt, learn from the experience.

Hello there. I've similar experiences before. I am always the target of friends who wants to borrow money. Thank God they are usually not very close friends. Most of the time, I'll just lend it to them because I do not know how to reject. If they do not return after the promised date, I'll call or sms them. If they still do not return, I'll just let the friendship go and forget about the money. They are the ones who failed me and not me who failed them. Money is indeed the roots of all evil. In this case, money also helps us to see the character of a person. To be frank, since the amount is big, I think you should get back your money. It's your right. Give up the friendship as I do not think he is a worthy friend. If he is a worthy friend and he truly has no money to return you, he should at least call you to tell you instead of avoiding you. That's very irresponsible of him.

hello josh!i have a similar story about yours,i lent the money to a schoolmate of mine in my higt schoolhood,but he hasn't any action to pay back.and then many years passed,when i call him for the money every time,he always took excuse to refuse me.so far i won't call him any more,i think he utterly does not take me as a friend,so just forget the debt and the friend before.

Hi Josh, I dont think you should forgive the debt, but I dont think you should be upset with him either. Hes more and likely embarassed, Im sure, at the fact that he HAS asked you for this money and has no way of paying you back right now. 3 years seems to me a pretty serious friendship, you said this has only been lately. I dont know that kind of messages your leaving him, but if they are in any way threatening perhaps thats why hes not responding as well. Like I said, I dont know what your saying or how your saying it. Finanical problems are stressful in themselves. I would try to be supportive of my friend, try and work out a payment plan or something and just be a good friend. If you do that and he still doesnt respond, then I would just let it go, move on and be more careful about giving. Taking him to civil courts would require proof they were loans, if you have that, then take him to court. Bay xx

There are 2 things that will ruin a friendship very fast. They are barrowed money and women. When a friend barrows money and has to pay it back and they can't or won't they tend to disaper very quickly. Since your freind has not returned your emails and seems to refuse to communicate with you my best bet is that the freindship is over and You are not going to hear from this person even if you do forget the debt. Best just to move on.

My dear Woman! Can't you understand? This was NO Friendship! This man took advantage of your Love and Generosity. He is one of the lowest forms of Humanity, and you are lucky to get off this easy. He has absolutely no plans of ever repaying you! You will never see him again. He will make sure of that! Please learn from this Lesson. Never trust anyone again until you know them very well. You might as well forget about the money, and Be Thankful he didn't take you for a much Greater Ride.

friends are friends,but debts are debts right? he has the reponsibility to pay you back. If he is a good friend he should have the balls to tell you when he can pay you back. He is like hiding ...good friends don't do these things. Maybe he has some issues in regards with money. I have a friend who has this habit of borrowing money... since I know that he is the type of person who just have this habit I don't lend him money and he understands it..we are still friends. We should also have some limitations most especially when it comes to moneyÜ

you must collect your debt to your friend because money is money and u can forgetting that bad friendship, u must to know man is not only him because still many-many people who can be best your friend remember think the future if still like this u will be the game for your friend

Dump the friend, try to get your money back. If he were a true friend, he wouldn't be avoiding you now. He will probably try to get back in touch with you when he needs more money. Don't make yourself available to him anymore. Afterall, seems he has forgotten about you. Don't allow yourself to be used.

Whether you collect the debt or not I think the friendship is kind of shot. If you feel hurt that the person doesnt return the same kindness maybe he isnt the type of friend you want or need.

You don't need save your friendship. In his view, you are not a friend but a good ATM.

It is important to first know the present financial status of your friend to know on why he is not responding to your communication. Maybe the reason is that your friend has no money to pay back what he owed that is why he just chose not to make any reply communication. Although it is wrong not to communicate, sometimes it is one of the best option, to keep silent. He maybe ashamed because he has no money to pay back. However, since the money was borrowed and it is a debt then by all means it must be paid back. Try to give your friend some options on how he can pay you. Maybe you need all the money now, but how about if he really does not have the money to pay you. Then, maybe he can pay you partially until he paid all his debt to you. It would be useless to demand the entire amount if he does not have enough money at present time. It must be emphasized to your friend that the money given to him is a loan money and therefore must be paid back. A loan money is different from a money just given to him. It must be paid back since it was a a money loaned to him. Collect the money what he owes to you and maintain the friendship. Who knows someday it may be another situation when you will be the one to need a money and you have no option but to borrow from your friend or to other people. The best way you can do now is to send a demand letter by registered mail to ensure that he is really receiving your communication. Depending on how big is the amount of loan, you can therefore decide on whether to hire a lawyer or not.

Well in this case.. you should stop giving him money first and there is still no such need of finishing your friendship...!! May be he is in real need of that money. YOu go on try to find out WHY he needs all that money..?? But still 3 months is long time!! But you first stop lending him any more money. I know money should never come between friendship but when one starts taking advantage of such friendship then you should get alert of such friends..!! But I still say no need of breaking off your friendship and there is neither any need of lending him any more money!! And yes you must get your money back too. :)

What friendship? I don't think there's any friendship to save here. After borrowing a lot of money from you he ignores you. Now in your time of need he doesn't talk to you. What kind of friend is that? Sorry but I think you've become a victim of a "friendly user" -- someone who will make friends with you just to use you and abuse you. There are people like that. I say cut your losses and get him out of your life. I avoid being in this situation by refusing to lend until the first loan is paid off.

With regards to saving friendship Josh, yeah, the value of saving friendship is the biggest treasure. I know not just for me, everybody will agree, right? You may loose all your money but if you lost a friend, it's one big loss. Recently, there is some common friend birthday celebration, I know she will not miss it. I went to the party and saw her. She avoided me, with all the people around, she seems to have not seen me. I went just in front of her and asked if she can lend me just 10 minutes of her time. We walk over to the backyard for some talk. I just told her, "Can I give you another chance?" Well, she said, "I'm sorry for the trouble! Yes!" She promised an installment payment but up to this date to no avail. Well, I am giving her the time. I did not pursue the legal claim. I'm thinking about it as a last resort. Before any action done, I'm still waiting for a reply from her. I sent her a mail to give me some explanation of the delay, I told her, "I can understand. I am not putting a judgment on you. If you have some trouble, I can wait. I am your friend and I will still give you the chance." I haven't received any reply and have not seen her or heard about her yet. I have decided to just let go. I will ask the universe to intercede for me and my friend. Money is not everything, I can earn it. A friend is a living treasure you can never replace. Spread the love!