Is he really mine now?
By carol_m
@carol_m (709)
Philippines
October 11, 2007 6:58am CST
My bf and I were in an internet cafe and I needed to get some pictures from my bf's email account, so obviously he needs to log in to his account. As fate had it (or maybe fate made a joke on us), he accidentally typed the password on the email address field. And I literally stopped breathing when I saw his password...it was his ex-girlfriend's name! He immediately erased the letters, thinking (or maybe hoping) that I didn't saw it...and acted as if nothing wrong happened.
This whole incident had been haunting me, and I asked myself if he really loves me and he had already gotten over his ex.
6 people like this
21 responses
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
11 Oct 07
Well, you could look at it this way.....now that you have seen it, he will more an likely change it and perhaps it will be your name?
Im sure he had this password before you, so dont get too upset right now. I could imagine the cringe in your stomach when you saw this. But at the same time think about this too, men dont think like women, so he really found no harm in keeping his password the same when he met you. Im sure he didnt think "Oh I gotta change my password now that I met this girl". Unlike a woman might think of this. If hes showing other signs of his x-GF then I would be worried, otherwise let this one go.
Bay xx
2 people like this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
11 Oct 07
Ok, I understand that. You cant control what is going on in someone elses heart or head. Hes with you, hes not with her anymore. Right? Im sure all of us, carry around things from our past. You dont know why he kept her as his password until you ask.
So why dont you kindly ask him why he still uses it? Dont make it an argument or anything, you will get more out of him this way. hehe But just say this is concerning me and I feel a bit uncomfortable about it.
I really dont think you should be too worried though unless he is showing other signs that he is still seeing her or talking to her or things like that.
Theres no one in your past that you think of at times? You just cant stop that kind of thing, you must have trust in him or else there is no need for a relationship between the two of you.
I hope you sort this out hon, I have been in this situation and its not fun!
Bay xx
2 people like this
@carol_m (709)
• Philippines
11 Oct 07
Oh..thank you for all those.
When I muster all the courage I have, I might ask him about it. But for now, guess I have to put that issue to rest and think about the present relationship we have.
I guess Im just being paranoid..no, he's not showing signs that he's still into his ex.
=)
3 people like this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
12 Oct 07
Look may be this mail id was made before you came into his life and he had this GF.
Now as you have seen it, he may change it.
See it from this point of view.
Be alert in your attitude and also not get demoralized.
If you can trust you, then ok.
@psyche49f (2502)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
Did you ask him about it, even casually? If not, such will haunt your relationship from that time on...it would be good to confront the situation at once rather than ignore that everything is ok...so to answer the question if he is really yours, the best thing to do is ask him...he needs to do some explaining to you. And it's your discretion whether you find his excuses valid or not...
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
12 Oct 07
I wouldn't worry about it. He probably tried to hide it knowing that it might bother you. If he is like most of us it is just a pain in the butt to change your password and he probably had not yet gotten around to it. I wouldn't make a big deal about it if this is the only thing bugging you about him. In fact , Im so big on being open and honest, I'd just come right out and tell him what you just told us and let him explain.
1 person likes this
@therealdeal (23)
• United States
12 Oct 07
hello, dont prejudge anything or keep anything in your mind without asking anything...In this world we cannot tell exactly who is whos mind.Just talk to him frankly and ask him whether he loves you or not... If he say yes then go ahead with your love otherwise just drop it and keep going on your own way with your work and take it easily.Because you might have confusion that he is loving you and he is doing all things for your sake , but it also might be his mentality..... Be brave and ask hime regarding that..... You can win......All the best for the success in your love....
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
12 Oct 07
That made my eyes go big when I read that! If that was my bf I would have said WTF! LOL. and then I would have made him change it right then an there. Actually I am not that tough what I really would have done is just said hmmm maybe I will change my password to one of my ex's names....lol that would have made him think lol. -Amber
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
11 Oct 07
That would really bother me as well, however he probably has had the emailadress for so long and never bothered to cvhnage the password. i would not see it as a sign that he still loves her, but i do belive i would make him change it =)
1 person likes this
@southernpixie (741)
• United States
11 Oct 07
How long have you two been going out? If you haven't been dating for long, maybe it was just an oversight on his part. A lot of times men just don't think about stuff like that. You should just talk to him and ask him about it. I hope everything works out :).
1 person likes this
@beutfulmama6701 (1718)
• United States
12 Oct 07
wow! i dont know what to say... how long have you two been dating? if only for a short while then maybe he just hasnt had the time to change it.. or theres the reason that sometimes men are so absentminded that they forget real easily and he doesnt want to change it for he might forget his new one.. unless of course he puts you in as his new name password... have you mentioned this to him? does he know that you saw? do you plan on mentioning it to him? I would if i were you, not to be B*tchy about it but to see the real reason behind it...
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
11 Oct 07
I don't know, that would really bother me too!! I think once they broke-up and he got a new girlfriend he should have changed his password. I would have to ask him about it to see what he says. Maybe he just can't figure out how to change his password-hopefully!! I would think that every time he is logging into his e-mail account that he would be thinking of her, he might not be but that is how I would think if I were in your place. Ask him about it and see what he says.
1 person likes this
@Drakhan (240)
• United States
11 Oct 07
I wouldn't worry about that. I have passwords that I picked out 10 years ago and can't even remember why I picked them. It could just be a case of him not thinking about it and typing out of habit, too. A lot of times, I seem to be able to type a password I couldn't spell outloud because my fingers seem to log in without me thinking.
1 person likes this
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
11 Oct 07
I dont think there is harm in this. Reasons being that maybe he had this email long time before you met and that maybe its his ex who created the account for him, maybe he doesnt know how to change password or maybe it was just an oversight. Lets just hope for the positive not negative. Also provided that he is with you now dont let the past worry you coz maybe he never remembers her when signing in as you may think. He loves you now and in future.
1 person likes this
@Sammy1987 (50)
• Nigeria
11 Oct 07
I am a male who is also jealous of someone i love. Using the does not he is still in love with her.If you will ask him to stop using that password, don't you think you are creating a negative image in him. If you should do that he will stop going with you to check his mail because he will feel you don't trust his love for you which will make the issues complicated. So protect you love for him.
1 person likes this
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
31 Oct 07
How long have you been with your boyfriend? Did he regularly check his e-mail. I would give him the benefit of the doubt that he has just forget to change that password. Now, I think it would be better if you will ask him about that. In that way you would be free from doubting him. Love is not measured with password. You just need to talk. Dont think too much.
@southeastasian (102)
• Philippines
17 Oct 07
Hey girl your relationship with him is just for 3 months old and I think he's not done forgetting his past yet but the best way to deal with this is to ignore it and try to do things which will out stand you from her past like asking him his likes and dislikes and making him feel that he is really special if you did all that do not expect anything in return but you will be rewarded and I promise you that. Its just an email and there is nothing to be bothered about that ok.
@Flight84 (3048)
• United States
12 Oct 07
Hmmmm...that would bother me too. You should definitely ask him about it. It could be nothing and just the first thing that came to mind, but that seems odd to me that it would be an ex's name. He might really be over her and just assume that no one would suspect her name to be the password, so it's safe, you know? I dunno. Like I said, I would be bothered too. I hope it's nothing and you let us know. :)
@huilee (1005)
• Singapore
13 Nov 07
That is really bothering and hunting me if it was in my shoes... But well, mine isnt anything better...
I log on to my bf's account and found her testimonials and her photos still in my bf's account...
Its so hurting...
He doesnt even put my photos on friendster or anything, yet he did it all for her...
Argh, his actions really made me very sad...
but well, who noes what they are thinkign...
for him , he said he didnt use that account very long, but it has been two years already... haiz...
it might be the same for ur bf's case?
if not, talk to him, dun let it bother u...
we talk things over and are fine, but i still mind...
it could be that he hasnt had the time to change his email password?
cheer up...
i hope things will turn for the better...
@juenshia (25)
• China
13 Nov 07
I see the same thing which happened to me years ago. My bf's email account used another girl's name, that is not her ex girlfriend, but he like him for many years. He told me that he did not take much care to it, he did note that the account is her name...That happended when we have been together not very long time. Later, that is the first vacation we spend together.I saw his diary he wrote when he was a senior student.All about was his love for another girl. In his diary, it seems that I am the person he concern, for the thing between them are so similary our's...I am so sad. .
But I know,that is his past, his histry. If I take much attention to it, that will make both of us unhappy. .
