Good help, bad help
By menctomas
@menctomas (278)
Philippines
October 12, 2007 1:22am CST
to all pinoys, we know that family is very important to us and life here in the philippines is really hard and most of the households are in the poor line. so we help whenever we can. but when do we stop feeding them and help them feed themselves. i feel sometimes that i am taken too much for granted but when do i stop feeling obligated???
2 responses
@UNPINOY (361)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
i deeply understand your situation. i am into it as well...but we have such soft hearts that we just can't say no. it is hard i know. but the terrible thing is feeling "obligated". well, i do know to combat that feeling, i just tell them outright that "hey people, you know me, when i have something to share, you don't have to ask." also, another line i use, "you don't need to ask, i already sense when you need something, if i don't give you anything that simply means, i got nothing at the moment." i just have to contain guilt feelings of not giving, but i must a least fun a thin line somewhere. we share and give, that's fine. but when already people are depending all the time on us, this is not helping anymore. they must understand the value of work. we work hard. they have to put efforts at works too.
at any rate, when we can afford or accommodate, we are always ready. this should assure them. we help when we can. i wish you the best, perry
@menctomas (278)
• Philippines
15 Oct 07
thanks perry, at least your comment took a bit off the load from my shoulders. its hard really, because you want to help but i feel frustrated most of the time because they are able. only not willing to work. sometimes they don't even try. anyway, monday today so its best to start with a light heart, so i will not feel guilty today. ^_^
@foxygirle (376)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
hi kababayan.
our househelpers really provide us of the service which really helps us in our daily life. I always emphasized on them that I can only help them to my best ability and not obligated to feed their whole family. They have to live within their means and i set a monthly salary for them and does not aloow them to lend more than 2 months of salary wages. They should no your limit and when it comes to money i dont think we are obligated to help them since we are paying them wages and benefits.
just my piece of mind.
@menctomas (278)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
thanks foxygirle. but i think you misunderstood my question. I wasn't really talking about my help at home because i don't have one anymore but me particularly. you see i have an aunt and cousins that depend on me to hand out whatever whenever they need it seeing that life here is poor and since i have a job and everything, well, its like they expect me to be obligated to just give them. but in my opinion, i have my own family to support now, so is it alright if sometimes, i cannot? when can i stop feeling obligated.
