Do I deserve to get dragged through the mud?
By soccermom
@soccermom (3198)
United States
October 16, 2007 12:24pm CST
I am so frustrated. I applied for what is called "AOE" status with the insurance company I work for. I have been there almost three years, and this status would make me an "exclusive" employee to them and give me more freedom in the business I write, a bigger chunk of the commissions, and eligible for reimbursement for continuing education. I am a proven producer, selling over 25K worth of new business this year alone. I don't miss work and even my boss says his agency wouldn't run without me. He says if I ever quit he will be forced to retire.
So the company ran my credit report as part of the process. I knew they would, and they had questions about unpaid medical bills and a couple other things that are almost 7 years old that are on it. I explained that the debt was my ex husbands, and since we divorced and he was incarcerated the companies came after me since we were married when the debt was incurred. I submitted a copy of my divorce decree that states he is responsible for the bills. However legally since he is incarcerated the debtors can't collect from him. In order to get him to pay I'd have to take him to civil court, which I can't do because he is in prison. The company claims that my credit report is a reflection of my fiduciary responsiblity and they are concerned. So I submitted references from a former employer that detailed my fiduciary responsibility. I handled more money for them in a year than I have for the current company in the last three.
So then I get a phone call. The powers that be are now concerned with item 8 on the divorce papers which states "Plaintiff (me) is currently pregnant, but the Defendant is not the father of the unborn child". They said this speaks to my character and wanted an explanation. I told them that my ex husband raped my daughter, and while the trial for that was going on it complicated the divorce proceedings and it took almost 2 1/2 years for my divorce to be finalized. Item 8 was my ex husbands way of making sure I didn't come after him for child support, the child is not biologically his, but the state of Illinois would hold him responsible for support since I was legally married to him at time of conception. Like I'd take a penny from him anyway. I got upset at the person doing all this investigating, and I told them "I am not a w***e. I made a bad decision when I married my first husband, but that was over 7 years ago and I have moved on. My record shows that."I feel like I am getting dragged through the mud. I busted my butt to get to where I am today. My DM called and said he thinks that it'll go through and I should know by the end of the week. But part of me wants to tell them to shove it, I feel insulted. Shouldn't my performance over the last three years reflect my capabilities? Not what happened to me years ago? They really opened up some old wounds and I am bitter about it. What would you do? Sorry this as such a rant, it's complicated.
3 people like this
13 responses
@awonderfullife (2893)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I think the whole credit report thing is such an invasion of privacy. Your credit- good or bad- has nothing to do with your work performance. Oh, I know they have a right to do it. I used to work for a human resources department and I was privy to way too much of the employee's personal information, stuff that I definitely did NOT want to know about. In one case, an HR manager made me request an employee's medical records becasue the person was out on Family Medical Leave and she didn't provide us with the proper documentation. So the employee did sign a release letting us have a copy of her records, but in her records it talked about her back ailment and also the fact that she has herpes. Like, I really didn't need to know that bit of personal information!!
2 people like this
@aissha (2036)
• India
17 Oct 07
no soccermom ,u r an old friend ,even though we are not regular at each others discussions still i know abt u and ur children ,i think woman's dignity should never be challanged or she should never subject of what u are now ,i just hope god gives u enough strenghth to come out of it.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I hate crdit reports for they keep stuff on there that needs off and they keep it there for yearsssss.
and what happened 7 years ago should even reflect on what you have been doing now this person is a complete A***ole to drag this all out now most of this probably shouldhave been off your report and I dont think they should have brought it up to you now really thats the pits! grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Bbut I do beleive you will end up getting what ya want so dont go pull the plug after you went thru all this . DOn tmake it for nothing the pain you have gone thru ok? ok!
hugs and blessings
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I know the feeling we had one from Utah IRS on there adn we didnt even owe them but paid it so we coul buy a house and that was 8 years ago and it was still there when we refinanced in Jan. I have wrote them and wrote them to get it off of there these credit report thinks are a joke for I see no where where it helps us at all to know our credit report specailly when they sell stuff around and when they dnt take stuff off and then there is the one where a person is stuff on your credit report that you have no idea who they are and they have lived places youhave never heard of or lived at.
Now there is another person that lives in Vegas with same name but hers is spelt Joanne where mine is Joan I bet she was very confused when mortage place caled her and told her she was behind on the no=te lol
and she has no deallings with these people!
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Here's the kicker, I have tried for years to get this stuff off my credit report. Some debtors have been compliant others not so much. What ticks me off is that the collection agencies will "sell" your debt from one agency to another, and then half the time they don't even know who they sold it too. There is also a lot of stuff on my report that has been paid for a long time, but it is still on there. Although it is listed as paid it still counts against me in a negative way. BTW, how have you been feeling?! I've been thinking of ya!
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
16 Oct 07
see out here i don't think they have the right to do that, especially with personal matters like divorce, that's just complete bull!!!
looks like your going to get what you want through this but if you don't i'd make them hear everything that went through my mind over this whole screwed up process they have going on.
1 person likes this
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
18 Oct 07
damn your right hunni, that doesn't sound like you at all..
i dunno, maybe it's time for a change, you seem to up in arms over this, they had no right to make assumptions about your previous life, that was in the past, and the fact of what your ex did to your daughter, that should have them shutting right up over the whole thing.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Even if I get what I want it still isn't sitting right with me. The fact I divorced that monster should speak volumes, and it's not like I am the only person to ever have a messy divorce. This whole mess has effected my work. I wsa sick yesterday and had 3 appointments, when I called my boss to let him know I wasn't going to be there and he asked what I planned on doing with my appointments I told him I don't care if he took care of it or not. That's just not like me, and I have a feeling he didn't call these people, so now I have that to deal with today.
1 person likes this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Sorry to hear all this Soccermom, I really think that their investigation should have only went back 3 years, the time you were working for them. If they had an qualms over your life before they hired you, why didnt they look into it then?
I think you should feel insulted, I felt insulted for you having to explain why your married and having another mans baby, that was really none of their business. Like they have not had to deal with anything similar.
I think that is what would p!ss me off most, the fact that they sit there questioning you about your life and I could only imagine the skeletons falling from theirs when they open the door.
Try not to let the past come back to haunt you. I know easier said than done. Try your best to let it go and keep knocking the sox off them with your performance, show them what a good person you are and not too mention what an asset you are to their company.
Best regards, Bay xx
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
16 Oct 07
My boss is considered an "independant" agent, which means he can hire whoever he wants. I have known him since I was a child, and he contacted me for the job. Now that I have proven myself to be an asset to the office he suggested I apply for the AOE, with the hopes that when he retires in a couple years I may be in line to "inherit" his agency. His heart was in the right place, but it seems to me that all this just isn't worth it.
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
16 Oct 07
Oh dont give up now! After all you went through? I know its a heavy weight on your shoulders, but you dont think it could be good for your future? Nothing worth having comes easy, I definately know this from experience.
I mean I dont even know you from Adam, and I my heart is just going out to you. I really hate to see you let this keep you from what you wanted, you sound like such a strong soul.
Best wishes, Bay xx
1 person likes this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
16 Oct 07
They claim all of this is being kept confidential, but it still bothers me that people who I respect and have respected me are privy to this....
You wrote this to someone else, I can see where this might lead you to want to give up. It all comes down to doing what makes you feel good about yourself.
Bay xx
1 person likes this
@BlueStarMom1 (931)
• United States
16 Oct 07
It just amazes me that everyone thinks they have a right to all of your personal history. How dare they scutinize your divorce papers and bring up something that does not even pertain to your finances. I will bet someone in that office was just getting their personnal kick by reading your confidential information. How awful.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
16 Oct 07
You'd think personal history would be just that, personal. As far as I'm concerned the only part of my divorce papers they should've been interested in was the portion I highlighted that pertained to my financial issues. They claim all of this is being kept confidential, but it still bothers me that people who I respect and have respected me are privy to this.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I don't know what your divorce would have to do with anything. I do see checking the credit report, but your explanation and proof should have taken care of it. Your work history should have proved that you should get the job. Since when does a company want to know about the father of your kids and if he is really the father? That was uncalled for. I would be upset also. You did better than me, I would have told them that was none of their business and had nothing to do with you doing a good job for them, which you already have, and that you had already shown them how dependable you are and if that was not enough, besides wondering about the credit report than you don't need to be working for them and giving them the $25,000 worth of business that you have in the past. That was a little ridiculous.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I've really been wondering lately if the insurance business is right for me. I love my job, but it seems that the industry itself is becoming so "cold hearted" for lack of a better term. They claim the details of my divorce is a reflection of character, which is crap. Maybe I should point out the fact that I'm the one who turned my ex in for sexually violating my oldest daughter, if that doesn't speak volumes about my character I don't know what does. It just really infuriates me that I have moved on and put that part of my life far behind me and they keep digging it up.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
16 Oct 07
This sounds so frustrating. And it seems like you are being dragged through the mud over mistakes that your ex-husband made.
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
16 Oct 07
What on earth makes them think they have the right to pry into your private and personal life from way back when. To me this sounds deeply insulting and I would be inclined to tell them exactly what they can do with their questions. I wonder if this would be a good time to start looking for your next job hun.
@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
17 Oct 07
I think what these people did to you is way out of line. What does your personal life have to do with your professional performance? I would have thought that your track record should speak for itself. If they were to have done a credit report, they should have stuck to what was pertinent to you (alone) and left your previous life with your ex out of the picture. Here in Canada the privacy of information laws are extremely strict. What you have gone through would have been sufficient cause for you to launch a massive lawsuit for breach of privacy of information. If you were questioned about the state of your finances from seven years ago, and you provided that one-sentence explanation (without even having shown the divorce decree which is none of their beeswax in the first place)that would have been enough. Not even the lenders here who give people mortgages are allowed to be that nosy! If something comes up on someone's credit report, they may or may not query it. If they do, they stick to the explanation supplied by the client. Otherwise they can get in trouble. Keep your chin up, SM. I know you are a fighter and you'll get through this. Don't ever give up--why start now, you've been pulling 120 percent!
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I an't see how your personal life from 7+ years ago has anything to do with your current professional abilities. I could understand a little if these were current issues since they would definitely hurt your job performance if they were going on now. I would start asking THEM some questions like was it necessary for them to ask you about your personal life...sounds like they were being a little more nosy than they had to be in my opinion.
If it were me I'd start looking for a different job and do some research on how they treated other employees trying to get AOE status. I think they crossed the line but you should probably find out exactly what your rights are in regards to your privacy.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I did ask a lot of questions. Unfortunately the insurance business is becoming very focused on credit. They got together with the FTC and did all these studiesa and believe that credit reflects how big of a risk you are, from auto and home insurance, now down to employment.
The requirements to get an AOE have become very strict in the last year. I forgot to mention that applied back in February before all these rules were changed, and the VP of sales just left it on her desk, my boss and I both think it was because she was afraid to make a decision. Well, my boss cornered her last week at a district meeting and I guess it was less than pleasant. He told her off. For as much as a jerk that he can be at least I know he has my back. But then again when he is earning 10% for every policy I sell, and I only get 1% he better have my back!
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I am so sorry that this has happened this way....this company really does not deserve you!
There is a point when investigating a person crosses a line and I think that they have done so....
Yes, your performance at this company should be the main determining factor and while running a credit check is one thing the questions pertaining to your character are way out of line....and quite frankly, not any of their business...
I would be as upset as you are if this happened to me, my friend....Again, I am sorry that this happened but I do not know what else to say....you do not deserve this type of treatment....glad that you were able to rant and possibly get some help from that and the support from your friends....
Tina
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I hate it when others are able to scrutinize another when they have their own skeletons in their closets. Like it's really any of their business about how and when you conceived your child. What the heck does that have anything to do with it? Just as the saying goes, Those of no sin shall cast the first stone.
1 person likes this
