Shopping for others?
By bowtieguy
@bowtieguy (5915)
United States
October 16, 2007 7:46pm CST
my sons friend Jason went with us to the store for a change, I was picking up a few shirts and my son wanted to look around, anyways they though it would be cool to wear matching out fits to this party so I bough both matching shirts and ties for them and later that evening I got a call from the boys father, he explained to me that it was nice what I did for him but it was too much and he wanted me to return it. I told him it was no trouble and had no intentions of returing it. A few choice words were exchanged from both parties and he said he didn't want his son hanging around so much. I have taken the fact that he might not be able to aforid things like that or something and it would upset him to hear his sons spending so much time with us instead of his own family but im sure he has his reasons. So basically I was wondering who was out of line here me or him, and be honest I can take it.
3 people like this
6 responses
@marabdl86 (615)
• United States
23 Oct 07
No way. What you did was a nice thing. It's the father's envy of the relationship your having with his son that's bothering him. I'm sure he'll call you and tell you he's sorry. Keep doing what you do.
@bowtieguy (5915)
• United States
23 Oct 07
I hope your right, it is affecting my sons friendship as well his sons with mine and i think it would be selfish of him to continue hurting his son emotional this way to protect his own ego.
@bowtieguy (5915)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I wish he saw things that way, it is getting in the way of their friendship.
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I do not think it was out of line, I think it was very nice of you. I guess I can understand his side, too. So I don't think either party is in the wrong. You tried to do something you thought was nice, your intentions were not appreciated. So I guess it won't happen again, but I'm sure the boy appreciates you doing it for him. I wouldn't sweat it.
@CinderInMySoul (4717)
• United States
17 Oct 07
well in my opinion it would depend on how much you spent on his son.
my 12yr old has gone shopping with her friend and her mother before. they went shopping for "unmentionables" and Sera was just tagging along. Sera came home with about $50 worth of "unmentionables"!! (not to mention they were inappropriate for a 12yr old)
i was upset and sent the clothing back to her friends mother and told her thankyou very much but its too much.
now..if they had been out shopping and Sera saw a shirt or something that was $20 or under, then i wouldnt have had a problem with it. i would happily get something for Sera's friend if she were shopping with us..as long as its under $20. (and appropriate lol)
i know you meant no offense or disrespect, and even if you told the boys father as much, i can understand how such "charity" might be upsetting to him. you have to understand that even the act of calling you to say Thankyou was probably a blow to his ego.
Next time..if there is a next time, you might be better off just saying "are you sure?" and if they still insist on returning..just saying "ok, send it back with the boys".
keep in mind that your version of "too much" might be far different than his.
@bowtieguy (5915)
• United States
17 Oct 07
The items were are on sale and combined was about 60 something not too much, the boy is 17 and I feel it is up to him weither or not he should get to keep something or not, I may have spent too much on him but I still feel that his father is making mountain out of a mole hill here if that even.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
17 Oct 07
Tricky situation hun. It depends a lot of how much you spent, perhaps the boy's dad feels that you have spent too much and is embarassed. It might be a good idea to have a quiet chat with him and explain that you didn't mean to cause any offence, he might realise then that you didn't mean any harm
@bowtieguy (5915)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I try to do that over the phone but things got out of hand, hif agrees to have a rational discussion about it then I can explain things to him better and speak to his wife I hear she is upset about it too.
@Vieiragirl (109)
• United States
17 Oct 07
I think some men are sensitve to that kind of thing. What you did is nice he is probably not feeling comfortable and probably thinks you think he can't take care of his own son. I think he should have let his ego go though. Maybe his father has a skill or something and you can ask for his help in return. So he feels like he is giving you something in return. But if he got that mad it might not work but just an idea.
@bowtieguy (5915)
• United States
23 Oct 07
I can understand if he would feel that way but that is not the case and I am sure his son knows that as well, and I hope that he will realize that and let the whole thing go it is really affecting my son and his sons friendship wich should be more important to him that his ego, and it would be selfish for him to do so.
