when you were at your lowest...
@frecklelip334 (1668)
United States
October 17, 2007 4:41pm CST
I am in trouble my friends. And I would just like to hear that people go thru this, that I'm not alone.
We STILL haven't paid rent, car is going on 3 months unpaid, we owe energy/electric bill, and our landline phone bill.
I was laid off a year ago. The owner sold the property where I was managing his apartments. We have tried to keep our son out of daycare, NOT that anything is WRONG with daycare, but we couldn't afford anymore doc visits, plus more than half my pay was going to pay the daycare...so we tried me staying at home. Well anyway now I have a job starting at the end of the month, and we DON'T have to put him in daycare, we figured all that out. So there's a true blessing! YAY! Some good news!
Well so then my hubby was sorta "put on hold" if you will at his job, cuz he hadn't paid his initiation union dues yet. We did NOT even have that money to pay that! So he missed 2 weeks of work, and that's 2 paychecks...we are SO behind.
We have been struggling as it is for awhile, but somehow manage. But now it's do or die, repossesions, evictions, power being cut off, no phone.....my mother took us grocery shopping so at least we could feed our son! I haven't told her about everything else, as we have borrowed from them several times already this year.
My question to my dear friends here, have you ever just felt at your lowest, whether it be in a relationship, or with finances, or as a parent, whatever the case may be...how did you pull out of it? Concerning finances, did you get a loan to help? Did you make a ton of phone calls to work things out? And concerning all others, if you were depressed, or just sad, how did you pull out of your funk?
I have actually been very chipper lately, but I think it's cuz for some reason I know it will all work out, but I'm not so sure anymore. We have stayed away from credit cards and such, but now I wish we had one to just HELP us right now you understand?
Well anyway, I've called the car place, and I put in a personal loan request from our bank, but that will take one business day, and then I have to call the car place back. My hubby will be asking to make payment arrangements later today for the phone line and energy bill. BUT rent is what scares me most right now. We've never been this broke, this sad, this frustrated, or felt this lost.
So if you've had a similar experience, it would just be nice to know that there may be light at the end of the tunnel? I know we are still more blessed than a lot of people, the homeless, the hungry, the unemployeed the disabled who can't get to work...BUT for us, it's hard. And we don't have luxuries like cable tv, we have ONE car (and i know many people don't have that even), we never buy ourselves movies, and rarely GO see a movie, unless we really save for it. We don't eat out, things like that, so I don't need someone getting on here and try to lecture my spending habits, I don't shop and just blow money. Just to make that clear. And we're not deadbeats, nor are we irresponsible with our money. We just simply have NONE and BARELY live paycheck to paycheck. So I had to clear that up. November into December should be better. Two incomes will help. And I'm not crying or trying to whine to you all, I just would like a hug!
Thanks in advance for your understanding and similar stories if you'd care to share!! I had to vent!! Sometimes that's what helps me!
9 people like this
10 responses
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
18 Oct 07
HUGSSSSSSSS! I know what it is like living paycheck to paycheck and just scraping by to at least cover the minimum. I don't know how we get through it, but somehow we manage. Lots of prayers, sacrifices and just persiverence helps us.
We are here for you if you need to vent even more freckle. I will keep you in my prayers. Take care.
3 people like this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
thank you gorgeous! i can feel those hugs!! you're right, "somehow we manage"...i appreciate all your words. thank you for making me smile dear friend!!
1 person likes this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
oh and your avatar makes me smile too!! haha cute!
1 person likes this
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
17 Oct 07
My husband and I are in that same boat right now. The thing that keeps us going is positive thinking. Some how we end up getting ourselvs out of the jam and things are fine for a while and then something backfires and we have to go through it all over again. The thing to remember is never uunderestimate the power of positive thinking.
3 people like this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
positive thinking DOES help. i woke up in a frenzy, freaking out this morning, but had done a lot of research before i had gone to bed, so i was prepared this morning. just little details, and calls to make and such...BUT as i woke up i told myself if i freak too much, then i won't be clear minded enough to get thru this...so i just started the day and got a lot done by even 9am. got in an appt by 10:20 and the rest of the day went pretty smooth. i admire you for thinking positively, it's a hard thing to do, but it works!!
1 person likes this
@citygirl (1080)
• Canada
18 Oct 07
Here is a big big hug for you. I too have gone through rough times in my life raiseing three kids on my own, so I can relate to what your going through. Just keep your chin up there are better days ahead, once your back to work things will iron out slowly. Just keep believing in your self. Good luck and all the best and more hugs.
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
AH!! {{{HUGS}}} right back atcha girl!! i admire single parents...yea and i think I have it tough? it's amazing the things single parents go thru. bless your heart. i got all my training scheduled, AND THAT'S PAID, so we'll have that extra income SOON, that WILL help! so happy about that! thank you again for the hugs and for being so sweet and reading thru that and sharing back! you knew JUST what to say!! i thank you!!
1 person likes this
@alamode (3071)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Tie that knot in the end of your rope and hang on, my friend! It only can get better from here!
At one point, we were newly-married, with a new baby, and in the service. We made the princely sum of $4300.00 that YEAR, and got burned on some rent money.
Far from friends and family, we had no one to ask. Our daughter needed special formula and our whole food budget went to that. We bought a 10-lb bag of potatoes for ourselves... and we went fishing. We caught several trout, so that was our one meal of the day for a week. The next week, we got some rice and beans and cans of tomato sauce at the commissary. Lived through another week. A neighbor went hunting, and gave us a roast... MEAT! Made into soup, another week.
It felt like we were dying... it felt like forever. But our baby was fine, and we had each other. That was 42 years ago, and I've never forgotten.
I send you as many hugs as you need to help you get through. You will, even though it doesn't seem like it now... just keep looking for the end of that tunnel. Just keep looking ahead.
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
ooh i like that:
"Tie that knot in the end of your rope and hang on, my friend!"
HA! nice work!! wow and good work on the fishing, that's being resourceful i must say. bless your hearts for giving all you could to your baby. that's how i feel too. my son always gets the last peice of meat or last PB&J. and my hubby and i can eat buttered noodles or potatoes anytime. but he eats before us. but you're right, you had each other. and sometimes these circumstances can turn you away from each other, but it makes it easier to go thru it with someone else, that's for sure, and then you appreciate the smaller things in life. bless your heart for sharing your story with us, and for being such a special friend!
1 person likes this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
13 Feb 08
you're so right in that when you ARE successful, people think you have it easy or have ALWAYS had it easy. it's not right to judge like that. life takes work. not everyone gets stuff just handed to them!!
1 person likes this
@alamode (3071)
• United States
19 Oct 07
Because we have been relatively successful since then, people think we've always had it easy... I think of those times as the mold for what we've become. Now that Hun is retiring, we can finally see a life without struggle. Our wants are few, so we'll be doing just fine! The hard times teach you to treasure the good ones! Take care!!
1 person likes this
@foxygirle (376)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
your not alone, alot of people are also in your shoes. Dont be harsh on yourself nor your hubby. SOmetimes things just dont as we plan and it gets harder each year just receiving paycheck and handling it to our creditors and bills to pay. Its really hard, sometimes you've wished getting more money but it doesnt happen. I cant enjoy my paycheck much since it goes to paying my housebills and electricity and grocery, most of the time i have to get from my savings just to pay the other household expenses like grocery. I seldom shop for clothes anymore, most of the time I just buy what my daughter needs.
Dont fret, i love to give you a hug also. do pray even sometimes we dont think it works anymore, but it still does. take care.
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
it's hard not to be harsh on yourself though ya know? what did i do wrong, where did i make the wrong turn? why haven't i improved my way of life yet? BUT it all comes to us in due time. have to be patient i suppose!! everything just seems to get more pricey and we HAVE to pay, so what else ya know!! {{{HUGS}}} back to you too dear! i STILL believe in prayers, but it took me time to believe in that again, as i tried to stray from that, BUT realized i need prayer in my life, not to give THAT part of my life up anyway! and they really were working for me today thank the Lord!! thanks for your support and hugs and prayers. you're in mine as well too dear friend!!
1 person likes this
@momincharge (94)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I'm so sorry for how rough things are for you right now. We're there too. Between two major illnesses, a business fiasco and two job losses during the last three years we are in a pit that we feel we may never get out of. We have had a good deal of help from family members who know we are trying our best.
Talk to everyone you owe money to and explain that you will both be working within the next month and ask for their help in getting you back on track - even the landlord. If you are unable to get things worked out with the landlord or any utility companies you should try calling around to some local churches or community groups. Our community has many great organizations that will help you with basic needs until you are able to get back on your feet. It is hard to make a phone call to them to admit just how desperate you are but truthfully they are there to help you out.
Also, it might be worthwhile to just lay all the cards on the table with your parents and see what they can do to help you. They might have some ideas of how you can get things worked out. I know my parents were sorry that we never shared our plight with them years ago when we had trouble because they hate that we struggled alone without having the emotional support from them.
Give your son and hug and know that it will all work out eventually.
Good luck with everything. It will all work out in the end.
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
we went to a catholic charity here. They helped with the rent. And I got the car taken care of. There are still a few bugs to work thru, but hopefully it'll be okay. You have some great ideas!! Thank you for bringing up my son. He could tell his daddy and i were frustrated today and so he acted that way too. we're going to spend some special time together tonight. and i made him some treats for after dinner. this is why i fight so hard..it's all for him. thank you so much for your emotional support and help!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Hello my dear sweet friend. I am going to give you the one real piece of advice that is going to help you out if you follow it to the tee. Are you read? read this very carefully.
Don't focus on the problem. Never ever let you problem be bigger then you. Focus on the solution if you don't have one yet. focus on getting to the end of the road where things are fine and are falling into place. If you are always thinging about what you don't have you are never going to get what you want. Think about and only focus on what you want. and i promise in no time it will be yours!
@34momma (13882)
• United States
19 Oct 07
you are so sweet. i am not wise, i am telling you that i have been there and this is what i did to get out of it. don't complain, to dwell, just focus on being ok and smiling and happy and seeing the money coming in.
speaking of money, Vic from Yuwie asked for you referral link and he is either going to show you how to get referrals or get them for you. so girl you money "problems will soon be over when you are making thousands of dollars a month. all from being my friend. I want to stress that I take care of my Yuwie people and if i can't then i find people who can
1 person likes this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
wow really? girl, you know how to take care of people. i need to get back over there. it takes so much time sometimes to check on all my friends, but it's worth it eh? thank you for ALL your help always. OH i did get another referrel, and one of my other ones finally put up a pic, so i need to make sure she's not on private, and go out out another notcie to send people over there to her. she's a single mom, and i want to help if i can.
you are the sweetest. king told me you guys may visit colorado one day. if you need help with that, i may be able to!! haha! so anyway, thanx for your continued love. you're the best!
1 person likes this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
hey queen!!
you are SO WISE!!
we have to kinda take life in lil steps....focus is key!!!
luv ya girl! thanks for reading thru all my mess and for your kind words of advice...you ALWAYS tell me what i need to hear!!
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
18 Oct 07
frecklelip, who hasn't been there? I have when I was single. My husband has when he was. Two of us together, married, have too. It felt unfair, because we are not the ones who spend money like water. We save on every single thing we buy, but still it happens. We know people who have been spending and spending and they keep on earning, while we who save will have to keep saving. But yes at the end we've got some good news, enough to show there is still fairness in the world, and we are working our way up from there. You will see that light at the end of the tunnel too, but you might have to find a way to get there faster. Hopefully you can. Take care.
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
hi there littlemel!
you're right, who hasn't really? boy am i glad my 20's are coming to an end, what a decade THAT was....
everything you mentioned made so much sense and hit home to me. i know people who spend ridiculous amoutns of money on such strange items...that i get elsewhere for SO much cheaper, cuz i know i HAVE to watch spending...we don't just blow money...we know better, and yet it's still hard to survive sometimes. but i want to someday enjoy the money i work hard for as well. but it'll be okay soon! i know it! thanks for all your words! much appreciated!
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
Well I been in your place many times of my life... and been experiencing it until now. There are times that I really dont know what to do. Lots of bills to pay and it seems that there is nothhing i can do. But just like you I manage to survive. WEll, I am on online investment and my earning there is good.
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
yep, i've had A LOT of down times myself. but this was by far the worst, and made me the most upset. we all have struggles, but this was so irritating, cuz no one cared...no one cared of the why's. but we all "manage". glad you found some good earnings. i think we all find something that helps us eventually! thanks for responding friend!!
@aaidjs (1149)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
18 Oct 07
Hello,I have my story for you,maybe it can help you!!Until 19990 my family live in very good financial situation!!We can save,we built a big and nice house.With our children,parents and friends we was living in paradise!!But,allways is a but,19991 War start! My hubby and my father gone to the front line!!My mother,children start to live with just a little money because n more paychecks from my father or hubby!!Lots of refugees from other part of country came in our town and we shares our home with them!!they came with no money or clothes!!After a life in luxury that was shock for my children and me too.But I believed in God,and I think positive!!we lose our relatives and friends,thats is the worse !!After five years war was stopped and we start all over again!!After all I am much more stronger and I am sure that all came all gonna!!We have to believe an stay together!!This is just a few words about all problems that I had in that time!!!I can understand you and i wish you a best luck!!Warm regards Silvana
1 person likes this
@frecklelip334 (1668)
• United States
19 Oct 07
oh that's okay silvana, i knew what you were sayin!! dang computers!!
you my dear, wow. see being here, not involved first hand in the war that's going on now, it doesn't affect me daily like for you it did. i have a couple of friends overseas, but i just pray.
bless you for going thru all that, and staying positive. to be in one state of living, then going downhill...but you guys are fine now, and all is well? we DO have to pray and believe that we'll all be okay eventually. thanks my friend for your kind response and for sharing your story with us!!!
