This is how I grew up.

It is good that you realise that you are your father. That permit you to do something about it. You must learn to control yourself... and you can do it. You simply need to think before reacting. My favourite punishment with children of any age is to ignore them and stop doing things for them. Children need to know that their parents are there for them. As soon as you ignore them by stopping talking to them... they are lost. They will come to you... crying and begging you to talk to them. As they get older... you can get tougher. If you drive them to school and they are giving you a hard time... tell them to walk or take the bus. You will see them changing their attitude straight away. You are the boss and you hold all the cards. There is no need to yell at her. Just ignore her. If she don't want to go to bed... let her stay up. She will pay for it in the morning and after being tired the whole day... she will get the message... as long as you don't give in by letting her sleep in. Yelling does not solve anything. It just makes you feel bad later on. Like you do now. You cannot teach children or adults by telling them what to do. None of them wants to listen. You have to make them experience their mistake. By letting her up... only then she will understand the next day why she need to go to bed. It requires more work on your part... as you may also pay for her mistake. But in the long run... she will learn quicker and it will save you a lot of time and aggravation.

Actually you'd better be a bit strict with your children when they are young enough, because it helps.They may not like you for this in their childhood but they will understand it when they will be over 20 years old. Because if you raise your children indulgent they will not respect you when they will grow up.You have to explain them and instill the sense of responsibility..instill the feeling that life is hard and that every human being tends to be alone and thus respect each other in the first place their parents.. you should kinda set out the paradigm for them to think in. It is the problem of the whole western world ..that they really don't know how to grow up their children. they don't be strict with them. and the results goes as the indulgence and disrespect when they grow up.. because when they were young they didn't set in the paradigm of being thankfulness ,..respectability.. reverence..good qualities..when the child is young it absorbs the whole thin that goes on around and doesn't have the filtration..takes in everything. and instill i it mind that the things it has seen are all applicable and all right.. even when parents talk with each other in higher tones and fight ..shout it wil negatively effect the child sitting nearby..

I remember that day when I was kid part,then I was children was in school,then in collage,and then I am in marrage life.When how I get grow I donot know those days.

i would nip this behaviour in the bud before it is to late let her know that you are the boss and you are her mother you came first not her and maybe let her know that there are consequences for her action maybe take away her toys or something and everytime she mis behaves remind her that if she continues with this behaviour she will get her toys taken away or something that she really loves doing then she might think about how she is behaving but you have to take the upper hand in the situation and not allow her to walk all over you your name is parent not hers you are the adult you need to teach her to respect you!!!!!

Just keep in mind she won't be 5 forever and pretty soon the years will fly by the older she gets and then pretty soon you will see her packing up to move out on her own, and you will wish she was 5 all over again. -Amber

When I was young,I was very naughty.I would do everything my mother didn't want me to do and would never do anything she asked me to do. But ,you know,every child loves his/her parents.Even sometimes they deeply hurt mother or father,the love is always there,and can nothing replace it.So I think when you are angry with her,you shuold try to cool down yourself.Just wait for her growing up. Hope you ALL happy.

Have you thought about parenting classes. They might help you to know where your daughter is coming from and how to get better controll of your self too. I would get them as soon as possible. Kids learn early just what buttons to push I know I raised 4 of them and the girls are the best at pushing those buttons. Yes I would sugest paernting classes and if you can't afford then go to social services and they should be able to help you get them.

Ok, so I completly know where your coming from on this. I grew up in a very simular situation, except I was an only child. I now have two children of my own, one 2 the other 7, and they both know how to push my buttons. Now, I have on several occasions found myself going what I consider "over the limit" with them. It also dosnt help much that my older child is adhd and my younger is a "high need" child (*this is the new "PC" term for high maintance or needy, lol) I spent a good part of the last year in some personal counseling to get some help for this, because I did NOT want my children to grow up in anything like the type of household I grew up in. There are a few things I have learned.. #1 Learn to walk away: when you start to feel that boiling point walk away without another word. Even if it means that you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for a couple of min. to cool down do it. #2 Have someone outside of the situation that you can vent to. ie friend or counselor. Other family members arent usually recomended because they want to get all involved and you just need someone to be a sounding board. #3 Set up a points system with your girl. With my son I have been using, in conjuction with the school, the boys town point system. They start off each day with all of the points they could possibly earn. Then as the day goes on if they brake the rules, show disrespect, or just wont listen, they lose points. (you can make your own sheet and put values and goals however you see fit, msg me if youd like more help on building a sheet) At the end of each day the points are tallied and then they can either "spend" the points on little things, like toys or candy that youd pick up really cheap, or they can save up for something bigger, like going out to someplace they really like. The way I have it set up with my son is that he starts each day with 65 points and his points goal for each day is 38. Now, if at the end of thursday he has had two day where he has met goal and he has a total of at least 100 points saved then at school on friday he gets 2 hours of computer game time. If he has had 3 days of meeting his goal by the end of the week, then during his sisters nap time on saturday I will read him Harry Potter for the entire nap time. If he has 4 days during the school week of meeting his goal then he gets to go and pick out a toy that is under $15. And if (still waiting for this one, though) he has had a wonderful week and made goal for five days, then we go out and do someting really fun like putt-putt or chucky cheese. Its a reverse upbringing, I guess, from how we were brought up. If the child knows what they could have in advance and you are consistent with this then she will probobly straighten right up. My son has really done much better on this program than on anyting else I have tried. Good luck!

I agree that if you grew with parents who are abusive and yell a lot, chances are you can also have the same behavior. I noticed that when we had a neighbor whose parents shout and yell at their children even when they have an ordinary conversation. When their children grew, they also talk loudly.