i went to jail on sunday
By wendyyuwie74
@wendyyuwie74 (68)
United States
October 19, 2007 11:59am CST
alrighty then this passed sunday i went to jail thats right, jail, why you may ask (most likely you ask) ,the answer is b/c i was defending myself from my husband who was choking me, not to death and not to where it left marks, but none the less he was mad and he had his hands around my neck choking me so i put one hand around his neck and dug in with my nails he let go i went for the phone dialed 911 and he grabbed the phone then threw it and it hit me in the head not leaving a mark either. well from there he said he was leaving so i did not bother to call the police again or even fix the phone that the batteries had fallen out of when it hit my head...... 10 minutes later the police show up and i told them my side my husband told his side (a big fat lie) and b/c he had marks on his neck from my nails , the police handcuffed me and took me to jail. now if that is not a pickle i am not supposed to have contact with him for 20 days til our court date where i will be pleading not guilty , meanwhile i am staying with my mom and he is staying in our home claiming he cant find anywhere else to go. what am i suppose to do. the law is referring to him as the victim and i am looking at 30 days in jail or 30 days of counseling at my expense and a charge on my record. i do love this man but he is violent and i dont know what to do any advice out there? i have no job skills and 4 children. i need help
3 people like this
7 responses
@RosieS57 (889)
• United States
19 Oct 07
Have you come up with any marks yet? If so, have your mom take a picture of them as proof you were assaulted.
I hope you get a good public defender! Ask the lawyer to give you the phone number of the nearest Woman's Shelter. You can go there with your kids and tell them just what you wrote here. If you have to do 30 days(or less because of overcrowding) then go straight to the Shelter with your kids when you get out.
These Shelters do help women become trained for jobs that will enable the moms to keep their kids and move on past a violent relationship.
Good luck to you and your children!
1 person likes this
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
19 Oct 07
That is terrible. Being very far from you we can only console you to have strength and courage to face the realities of life on the otherside of the coin. I feel the police should take stern action against such persons and it is not wroth loving a person who is a beast.
REgarding future, you should find some job to have two square meal for yourself and the children and try to acquire skill. You have to do a lot of hardwork.
The question is why our society is becoming more and more voilent? Is it because of bad parenting, is it because of influence of bad movies through TV, or is it because local community encourages such activities to watch the fun? My sympathies are with You.
1 person likes this
@wendyyuwie74 (68)
• United States
30 Oct 07
thank you i am sorry it took so long to get back to you I have been busy
@MH4444 (2161)
• United States
20 Oct 07
Oh wow. to be honest, it sounds like he may have set you up. I've seen this in domestic violence again and again. It goes both ways too. The violent person wants the drama. They want to fight. For whatever reason. They come at you and threaten until you have to defend. If you had a recording and varying by the state; only one person must know that a recording is happening. If you do stay and are afraid, and I don't reccommmend you stay at all; then get a recording device and when he is getting angry turn it on with out him knowing. It is admissible in court in some states.
I know it's hard; but you have to just leave no matter what the out come of the past is. He is not loving you with respect. That is what you have to tell yourself every time. Over and over until it sinks in. I have dated and when meeting guys on dating sites met a few that showed the danger signs: anger at ex's, the ex was all to blame, they are loud and violent in public, they get red in the face while talking, wild eyes, watch the behavior while driving to a place at the same time. Ask questions, and never stay with violence - ever.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
30 Oct 07
Oh my, I am so sorry.
My husband is different, he will emotionally abuse me until I loss it and start fighting with him.
Then one night we through a cup at each other, (yep, we both got hurt, but no marks) and he calls the police on me. And of course there were 2 of them and the one my husband talked to said I needed counseling and the one I talked to told me that he can't do anything and that I should leave him. I only have a child under age, he is 5 and I would hate to mess up his life. So I am seeing, not a counselor, but a life coach who already knows that my husband has a problem.so if anything, I can get an alibi if he were to start something again..
@hopejordan (3561)
• Australia
20 Oct 07
that must of been so hard on you i[pray that there is jutice and god bless you
@girlgonefishing (2174)
• United States
30 Oct 07
I just found this discussion and noticed that wendyyuwie has not replied to anyone's comments. I don't know about the rest of you but, that scares me. I'm going to start praying right this minute that she and her children are safe. Wendyyuwie, if you are still there, let us know.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
19 Oct 07
I have to ask, where were your kids when all of this was going on? At this point wendy it sounds like "love" has nothing to do with it, and you need to get your kids out of this situation so they grow up with more respect for others around them and themselves.
You need to start looking around to see if there are any programs that will help you. I was in an abusive relationship and the women shelter in our area was a great help with getting me back on my feet. They gave me a place to stay with my daughter, helped me find a new job and helped me through the court process. Don't let the word "shelter" disuade you, alot of these places are very nice, and in addition to giving you and your kids a safe haven it is also a great place to heal mentally. You are with others who are in the same boat and will not judge.
The advice is no matter how hard this is you need to get out, if not for your own sake, then do it for your kids. And document everything. If he calls you and is abusive, make a note of it. A notebook full of his abuse, mental and physical goes a long way in a courtroom.
