How long should you wait before getting married?
By Robyn28
@Robyn28 (384)
Canada
October 19, 2007 9:39pm CST
I've been with this man for almost a year christmas it will be a year we met on christmas eve and came back for me on boxing day he was so cute he took me out to dinner he was wonderfully winining and dining me until a month in when he realized he had me. He wanted to impress me it worked I'll say that much I have alot incommon with him and he knows what he wants he has a job he loves and he isn't the type to use someone he fell for me right away and so did I for a while now I've wanted to marry him I'm not sure if he knows that he might if he asked me to marry him tomorrow I'd say yes. The question is it's almost a year is that not long enough? I think he's old fashion he doesn't believe in living somone me I want a ring to know he's mine and I like the whole benifits it will mean, I don't like waiting to long. I'm almost 30 I'll be 29 in March and my clock is starting to tick. We would have a cute kid if we did
1 person likes this
10 responses
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
20 Oct 07
Well I was given some advice a while back. I was told to go by the 3 yr rule.
Year 1. Find out what you like about the person.
Year 2. Find out what you dont like about the person.
year 3. find out if you can live with what you don't like about the person.
Then......
If you can live with the faults get married.
@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
Hi
I've been with this great man for a year right away I thought he was the ideal man. He loves to cuddle I'm like that music wise we like alt of the same stuff like to the point. He doesn't use people and he's passionate and we don't like to fight we talk things out if were bothered. We live really close to eachother he's also smart so am I though we are on the same page and we started talking serious in the begining yeah maybe it was a tad fast ,but we fell in love and we still feel the same a year later. I know he's a keeper I don't like to wait to long time is short I want to be engaged to him to know were gping to get married sometime. Were kind of old fashion don't worry we do sleep together were not that bad ,but our upbringing is our parents want us to marry and then live together. That's the way we were brought up I also want to have a family sometime I'll be 29 in march and we know we don't want to be a certain age running after little one's I want to enjoy my time with him first before rugrats want our attention like all the time. He has a job he likes and he's been there a while and I went back to school to have a career and get paid more to hopefully settle down with my man. One step at a time ,but I would marry him in a heart beat if he asked
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
Well to tell you the truth I am the same way but I have to have a while with the person before I will even consider getting married. If you truly believe he is the one for you and you can honestly say he feels the same then you should go for it. You only live once and you only haveso long before you can't have children so you need to do what's right for you.
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@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
hi
I'm waiting for him I know he wants that. When he's ready he'll ask he wants to be sure we'll last a life time his parents are divorced mine are together 35yrs and he thinks of them as a role model and he thinks it's cute them going to a hotel together. I think he's the ideal man he has maybe one fault I can live with it. He needs to get the money issue settled first, I'm moving out on my own though so he can stay over sometimes and break free from his crazy mother who I'm guessing doesn't like me. I know he will ask me some time I'll wait for him ,but if he makes me wait to long I'll ask him. I've been testing him he doesn't seem scared so that's good
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
20 Oct 07
I don't think there is ever a right or wrong time to get married. It depends on the couple. My husband and i were married a month after we met, the second time and we've been married now for over three years and have a beautiful daughter together. For others, it takes longer to make sure that that is the one they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Maybe you should discuss with him how things are going with you two and where he sees the two of you in the future. soon future i hope? keep us posted and good luck
1 person likes this
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
20 Oct 07
yeah, that really does seem to be so important for men...that the mother's like them and treat them like their own son. I'm sure it will happen for you. Just make sure you two are on the same page and agree about the same things before making that leap into marriage. You don't wanna find out he wants different things in life than you do after your married. good luck though, i'm sure you'll get the answer you need soon. keep me posted
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@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
20 Oct 07
You have a big point out there! if this is Mr. Right for you, then you need to play an even greater role to make this happen even faster. If you asked me, I would say, a year is long time to know someone-i dont know how convinced you are that this man will make a meaningful life partner, if you are, dont wait for to ask, ask this man and let him tell you he doesnt want the idea, then you start it all over again, you are still 28 and you are not going to be too late for marriage until you are over 35, so dont let the age thing push you into doing thing in hurry and then you make life long mistakes. Please fight for this because i can see you really love this man-ask him and dont be old fashion yourself(LOL) by waiting for him to ask, you may not be that direct in your asking, but I know for sure you can prompt this guy and you will get to see that raddar reading on his mind, thanks for your very nice discussion Robyn28
@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
hi
A friend of mine is really sure he's going to ask me I've been testing the waters for a while he doesn't get scared about me saying I would love to paint our bedroom red when were living together and him one time hinting about baby seats being able to be in the car? I knew that was a hint he stopped talking that way at some point ,but he does say and do things at times that make me believe he wants to when he's ready. I think he's old fashion only a bit we do sleep together, he's the type that if he got u pregnent he'd marry u to be responsible for his actions and be a man. He knows that we'd be a loving and caring family we never fight. When the time is right he will ask it's his role if I ask I think it means I have to pay for the ring? I'm happy being with him and he's faithful and he's romantic and he wants me to be happy he does make me happy. I think it's his role I've been testing the waters for a while and he's been testing me a tad to be sure. His parents are divorced that's rough, my parents are together 35 yrs he wants that I know he does he envious of them and thinks it's cute when the go to a hotel together. He's like"aaw that's cute their keeping their relationship fresh" He's romantic he has it written all over his face he wants that. When the time is right he'll ask my friend knows he's going to ask maybe for our one yr he will it's x-mas our one yr.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
20 Oct 07
My current husband (#2) and I decided we were getting married when we had known each other for about 4 months. We got married a year after that. That was over 2 years ago. We know what we had (have) was great so we went with it. Now, my first husband and I, we "dated" for about 3 years before we got married. That marriage lasted 10 years, but it was miserable most of the time. Of course everyone is different. I say go with your heart!
1 person likes this
@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
hi
He makes me happy it's goin to be a year at x-mas, he a good match I'll tell u that much. He's the ideal he truly cares about me doesn't use me at all I've been testing him as in serious talks and he doesn't flench I know that's a good thing and that he will ask sometime. I knew right away he was my match we have alot of common interests we are both romantic he kissed me over buying scented candles for us
@kodie420 (872)
• Canada
20 Oct 07
Well in my opinion there is no right or wrong time or right age. I think the couple that want to get married should only do so when both are absolutley ready for that commitment. If all the signs are there like you have tons in common, enjoy each others company, like each others flaws and so on then why not get married!
@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
hi
We have all of the above it's amazing our relationship we don't fight I tried to pick a fight with him once and he still wouldn't fight. I don't like to fight either like at all. I'm just waiting for him to ask me when he's ready. I love being with him so I have that.
@RosieS57 (889)
• United States
20 Oct 07
There's one way to get a conversation started about it, indirectly. Talk over finances with him. It really is true that two can live cheaper than one. This way you're not getting into sticky icky emotional areas but are addressing the benefits of having a joint future. It sure doesn't make sense to be paying two rents every month when you love each other.
And break a leg, Robyn -- hoping to see an engagement announcement from you at holiday time. :-)
1 person likes this
@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
hi
I money problem is something I wish I could win the jackpot and make it go away. It's tghe credit card that's in dept I asked him when I move out if he would live with me he said "no I can I'm in too much dept it's not that I don't want to,it's not goodbye if I'm not living with u it's no big deal I have friends that live alone" I turn around and said " your the only one I want to live with and no one else, so in the case I'll live alone until your ready it's just for now" He liked that and he said he would stay over sometimes. I'll wait for him to pop the question when he's ready
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
20 Oct 07
One year is probably long enough to know someone enough to want to marry. You seem to both have enough in common, and have no doubts about each other.
Still, he if wants to wait, don't rush him, as it will only turn him off. But maybe drop a hint.
@anastazia (154)
• Canada
9 Nov 07
Hey I was away and now Im back. It sounds like you got a man for you, did he ask you? I read you think he is old fashion and doesnt want to live together, did you ask him and maybe before getting married a part time living arangment cause I strongly belive in the you don't know a person til you live with them. I know a year seems like a long time but if your wanting a long term sometimes its worth waiting until you have very little to question about the relationship and you and him are crystal clear that its something you both want. If your not conserned about it being a `forever' marirage then you go girl cause worse case, knock on wood, you guys split and start over. Just dont junp in I wasted 13years of my life cause I jumped in.
hope this helps Ill be waitn for updates :)s
bb:)s
@surajpkn (582)
• India
20 Oct 07
There is no particular rule right. There is no such notion that one should wait this much long before they get married. Marriage is an important part of life and one must marry when one feels that it is the right time for him/her. The right time is the time when they are settled in life, have the confidence to face all the commercial problems in life and lead a life filled with commitment at heart. usually 25 or 26 is the right age where almost all the people get settled and speculate and play their future.
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@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
I think the right time to marry soembody is when you feel it.And when you feel he is right for you I think then you should marry him.I mean when he would ask.there is not a right time for a things like this.I know friends hwo was in relationship for 7 years and never got married becuase they didn't feel like and today they have different partners.And also have a friend who got married after few months and they are happy together.
@Robyn28 (384)
• Canada
27 Oct 07
Hi there you go
I know people that were together for a long time also and they never got married and they broke it off and she fell in love with someone else and they knew it right away they wanted to get married and 8 months after going out they were engaged I knew he was going to ask her he's a friend of mine they both are. They got married 2 yrs ago and I know they're still new ,but their happy I want what they have. I have a good guy so does she so I have some of what she has we are happy though we don't fight like ever it's a good relationship. talk soon
