Getting Teenagers To Pick Up After Themselves

well, I stripped my daughters room down to nothing but a mattress and a pillow and a sheet and she had to work to get everything back. It worked, but slowly they start going back to the way it was. Now, i sit in a chair in front of her door and make her clean her room, pick up her clothes, put it in the hamper, and then she takes it downstairs. I don't allow food in the bedrooms anymore, only water. If it's on the floor, it goes directly in the trash now. Funny thing, her clothes are always in the hamper now and she makes sure there is nothing on the floor. It might not work for you, but it's worth a shot.

My 15 and 16 year old girls now do their own laundry. They alternate days doing the dishes and only clean the house up when their boyfriends come to visit. I invite the boyfriends often. LOL If they want to hang out and watch movies, the girls are embarrassed to have the living in bad shape so they clean it up before the boys arrive. I do not clean up after them. They were each given their own tents, flashlights, pots and pans, a box of matches and sleeping bags for Christmas last year. They were told if they did not like it at home, they now have want they need to live down by the river. Strange how their behavior has slowly changed. Don't yell, no screaming, Stand strong but do not clean up for them. Be patient though.

gee an all to well heard of story good luck in teaching them seems like at this age they do it or they dont only thing to do is set limits if they dont do it they dont bring friends over or something like that

well at least you got the "don't care" right. You have to start treating them like equals. Sit down with them and explain your your wants and needs, and then find out what they want and need from you. Once this info is on the table, you can make a deal. You tell them what you are willing to do for them, and ask them what they are willing to do for you. Then come to an agreement...also tell them what the consequences are, should they fail to keep up their end of the agreement...These consequences might be..... dirty clothes unwashed, meals not prepared, etc... Go for it! Good Luck!

They are just testing you. If you give up you have lost forever. If you throw the clothes you win. Maybe it's not that easy, because every kid is different. A conversation will help temporarely, but then a new conversation. You have to act like you mean it and they will soon mave anyway. Will they not?

Hey DawnLoos, I feel your pain! I've raised two teenage boys, and now my two middle daughters are both teens. I can tell you this is an ongoing battle! This is what I've done in the past and it seems to work pretty well: We have a calendar of chores. Our calendar is separated by days, weeks, and months. The Daily chores are things like "make your bed, wipe off the bathroom counters, pick up your clothes". The Weekly chores are things like "clean the tub, sweep and mop all hardwood floors, etc.". The Monthly chores would be something like "clean out a closet, clean a light fixture, wipe down the cabinets, etc". I keep constant tabs on them and if something does not get done then they forfeit their next activity, whatever that may be. One of my daughters loves horses and goes to the barn as much as she can. If she "forgets" then she forfeits her next barn trip. Of course, there are times when I have to be flexible with the schedule such as if one of them is gone for an extended period (camp or something) or if we go on vacation. But for the most part, I stick with it. Good luck! Dana

I picked up after myself and my brother. I had to play the role of mom in my house most of my life. I had no choice. My brother had Diabetes, my grandmother was always going into the hospital, and I just had to pick up after myself.

So far it sounds like you are headed in the right direction. Don't give in and give them back their clothes until you see a change. When I do laundry anything not in the laundry basket does not get washed, I have had my kids complain that their school uniform pants weren't clean, my response was not my problem, my clothes were in the dirty clothes and washed. Also, if you pay for any extras like TV, cut it off to their rooms, take away all extras until they show some responsibility.

I made my kids do thier own laundry and I made them bring thier own dishes to the kitchen even if they where outside with thier friends I would go get them and bring them inside to do it. They loved doing thier own laundry after awhile they would bring clothes to me and ask how to get certain stains out LOL. As my teenagers got older things got better they would clean up after themselves and pretty soon they where all grown up and moved out, I miss them. -Amber

This is good for teens as well as canines. Have you watched Dog Whisperer? He is a canine behavior expert and also has a knack with his children. What ever you do it is very good to be consistent & don't start something you are going to want to or have to stop. I'm not suggesting you treat your teens like dogs, not at all. It is about Cesars use of exercise, boundries and limitations, and affection. This will work a bit differently with a similar approach. I don't know your situation, your children, or histories. I do know that if you think about the "What's in it for me" to use as a tool for you to think how you ccan find the good about situations and share this with your teens, find out what will help them see the value of doing tasks that need to be completed, explain the who, what, why, & how of things, perhaps there will be a much more cooperative situation at home. vpbanjo dogllar.com