Is marriage good?
By cosmopolitan
@cosmopolitan (1263)
India
October 24, 2007 4:35am CST
Hi friends I am 26 now and I intend to get married.How is life after marriage.I have heard that married life demands so much tolerance,patience etc.Here in my country marriage is a ritual and there is no dating or premarital relation etc. which are very rare and is looked at with despise.I know that the initial days will be jovial but what about after knowing each other.I am afraid especially in the present scenario of increasing cases of divorce and judicial seperations.Experienced people please tell me from your knowledge how to maintain a girl and live with her peacefully.I am a bit fear of marriage but i like girls because in my limited knowledge they are so tender and kind hearted.
2 people like this
14 responses
@navincp123 (442)
• India
25 Oct 07
i meant tat even i want to get some suggestion from others regarding marriage...
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
24 Oct 07
If you treat your future wife, with love, respect and learn to communicate effectively with her, I think your marriage will be quite nice. For me marriage is very nice and I enjoy it very much so. I love my husband and respect him. We do have communication problems that we both wish to help better. For both man and woman, it is important to communicate well to keep misunderstandings from happening and the arguments from happening as well. Trust is a very big issues as well. When you marry, you are to cleave unto your wife and love only her both physically and emotionally. Many men and women get bored with their spouses and go elsewhere to fulfill their desires. This is not good. Women are kind and tender hearted as long as you treat them as a treasure to you. If you mistreat them, then they are not so kind and tender hearted anymore.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
24 Oct 07
I recognize the underlying threat in your reply but dear mamasan here women are deppressed class and if she invite the wrath of man then the rest of her life will be a hell for her.It is a pity scene that long queue of abandoned women and children waiting before the family courts for collecting their meagre maintanence cost from their husbands.But I don't want to do anything like that because I respect and love women.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
25 Oct 07
This is true. I am not sure which culture you are from or what country. I know that in some cultures that women still are the depressed class as you say and that they have to be very careful with how they act and treat their husbands. It is a difficult situation. I see that you seem to be a respectful person and are thinking of these things. So, I think you will be fine. I wish you much luck!
@GardenGerty (160624)
• United States
28 Oct 07
Marriage is good, if the partners work at it, and at understanding each other, and building each other up. Love is a choice you have to make daily. The person you are married to should be your full partner, the person who will watch your back and make sure no one sneaks up from behind to do you wrong, the person who will cheer for you the loudest and longest when you do well, and who will comfort you if things go poorly. You and whoever you are married to have to make those commitments to each other. Then marriage is good.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
28 Oct 07
thank you very much dear gardengerty for your enlightening reply
@sheenshaukat (2617)
• Pakistan
25 Oct 07
We all are here because of Eve. Men are for women and women are for men. Both need and attract each other. They are negative and positive charges. They meet to form a real life. But there are law for their meeting, called marriage and could be defined differently in different societies. Men from my country say “there is no life without wife” . Relationship of husband and wife could only be established by marriage. You are 26 and this is best and mature age for marriage. So you should not waste time to hesitate. Pick a person for your life, and get you married as soon as possible. Wish you good luck cosmopolitan.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
26 Oct 07
Dear sheen thank you for sharing your views and best wishes to you too, by the way from which country you hail,the women of your country are very lucky
@tanjam420 (228)
• United States
26 Oct 07
ok i am 30 and have been maried for 4 years now, although we were together for 2 years before we said i do. and there were alot of people that didnt think we would make it this long, but as long as you love each other it shouldnt matter what people think..i used to say it is only a name change and a piece of paper,but i wouldnt change it for the world.i love my husband very much.although every married couple have their ups and downs you learn to deal with your problems as they come. once we said i do that ment forever and believe me we have been through enough to last a life time already...
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
26 Oct 07
You are absolutely right dear tanjam and I am honoured too that you made your hundredth posting in my thread.You have got a very strong conviction and perception of family life ,thanks for the reply
@clamarco808 (312)
• United States
26 Oct 07
Wow, I couldn't imagine getting married to someone that I didn't really know too well about. For me, I believe that mutual respect, communication and being able to make compromises & sacrifices are really important in a marriage no matter what country you are in or from.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
27 Oct 07
In which country you live.What you said is correct and I welcome it.But it is not allowable in my country, the social set up is like that.What shall I do!
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Marriage can be a lot of work at times, but in the end it is worth it. Marry for the right reasons. Realize that you are there for one another. There may even be times one or the other may want to bail, but you are in it for better or worse. My husband is my best friend and one of the few people in this world I trust. He is a good person with a good heart that I care about a lot. If this person is your best friend as well, then that makes it even better.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
25 Oct 07
nice to hear that you have a good relation all the best and thanks for the advice
@coldmoon (1088)
• France
24 Oct 07
If you are a selfish or liberty-loving person, the marriage is not for you, if you do it, you will be unhappy as well as you can't bring the happiness to you spouse. When you've got married, think of responsibility and seriousness more than of romance. And the most important, it should have love between the partners. It's wonderful if you can marry the one you dream of, and you will have nothing to complain. However, in the other case, you can also have an interesting life if you know how to contribute a good relationship. Remember that there existe always love, at least, between human and human, it's the greatest force to maintain the family, and to fight with every troubles in the life.
Since you're a guy, you don't need to worry if you will be happy. Try to make your wife-to-be happy and you'll find your own happiness in it.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
24 Oct 07
great answer thank you.Yes I would like to materialise what you said but the problem is that I love romance and don't want any responsibilities
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Hi, Marriage is a road to make family and the road to the future... however, it is depend on how you are giving it. 26 is a little too young to get marry... I am not a guy but I think you are too young to do that. where do you live?And why it is hard for you to get a date? it is a rule or something? if you get marry a girl that you have been knowing her then it would be better and it won't be hard to work thing out in the family. I married to my boyfriend for 4 years now and we dated for 2 years. It was so hard at the first year of marriage cuz thing change between boyfriend and girlfirend and other stuff... I have to be more responsible for housework, take care of financial and I have to talk to him before I make any decision.
Well, if you can then you dont have to be hurry in this marriage thing. You are a man so you have long way to go. I wish you all the best
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
25 Oct 07
thanks for the advice now I have decided to quit the idea of getting married
@muskes (5)
• India
25 Oct 07
there is nothing to be screwed up in marriage , its a good once in a lifetime experience , of course unless life doesnt force you to get married more than once . look at me , i am 23 and married . though not much time has gone but i am enjoying and hope to carry on in same way . marriage makes you more responsible in every square of life . of course there are problems as well but it also teaches you cope up with it , otherwise you wouldnt find hundreds of successfull mariages in the whole world . one more thing , this is my personel view so it doesnt mean you must agree with it - "if you think you are messy you need a wife "
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
25 Oct 07
is it because you are messy that you married at the age of 23 lol
@chaosdamoki13 (9)
• Philippines
24 Oct 07
In my opinion you should marry for the right reason(s). If you're just using marriage as an escape gaot, then don't do it... if you're not sure about your own feelings and if you feel that you're partner isn't also that sure yet, then don't rush into things... there are no specific rules that we can give on how to be at peace with a girl (the woman you intend to marry)... i think it varies since we are all unique... just try to make sure that you are really a 100% SURE before you tie the big knot... i asure you... it will never be an easy road...
@laxmikumari (80)
• United States
25 Oct 07
dear friend, if u r ready to sacrifice every thing of yours like your likes thoughts,way of living,your home,parents than its good to get married other wise marriage is suffering.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
26 Oct 07
Dear laxmikumari its not possible for me to sacrifice everything for the sake of marriage but let me see whether I can get through with out much sacrifice,thanks for the reply
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
24 Oct 07
prudent answer but how can I be sure that my spouse will be like my parents