What Would You Do

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Ok I am married and have 2 grown children,a teenager from my marriage before hubby now. We have a daughter together.My hubby and I dont fight unless I dont let him control everything. My oldest daughter has 2 girls (5 and 1 1/2)and she is also 7 months preg.Shes a single mom and works herself to death and now going to school to be a nurse. Well my hubby is jealous of the relationship with my daughter and I and so he knit picks about alot she says or does. I help her with alot of things which I never got when they were small and I was divorced. I did it all on my own.My hubby thinks I do to much for her and so we fight. He sometimes feels like he needs to protect me from her which I dont need protecting because shes asking me to help her with the girls.He likes to sit around and look mean most of the time especially when everything is not his way. He gives my older 2 dirty looks or doesnt say a word to them and then when I say anything to him then he gives me attitude also or gets on me about something silly the kids might do.When he acts like that I dont feel like being close(if u know what I mean) so we go for couple weeks to a month before we do anything.But when hes acting like I dont have any desire and cant even stand to be in my house when hes acts evil. I tell him this and then he will mope around for few days and then he will act ok then all of a sudden he will get evil again. I hate feeling like I have to tiptoe and hide helping my kids in any way. When we got together I told him my kids are my life and when our daughter gets older I will ALWAYS be there for her. He wasnt raised to be helped he says they had to do it by themselves. I too basically raised myself from the age of 6 when my parents divorced.I vowed I will ALWAYS be there for my kids and NOBODY can change me on that end.If I decide to tell them NO than thats MY choice not THEIRS to tell me to change. He has a son whos 16 and I would NEVER tell him to not be there for his son. At times he will tell me I will make you move in with your daughter and you can come here and visit. He is so insecure about my daughter and he has no reason to be. It upsets me when he tells me to leave or I pay the bills so she cant do this or she cant do that. If we are married and a couple then whether he pays the bills or not I am his partner not his child to rule and thats also how he treats me. I am 42 yrs old and not a damn child. Hes the one who hasnt wanted me to work in the 9yrs we have been together so this throwing that in my face is wrong.I am currently looking for a job and we will see how that makes him feel. How would you feel or handle this situation????