I am So So Mad!!!!!
By hoghoney
@hoghoney (3747)
United States
October 24, 2007 8:24pm CST
Well good eveing my friends, I am so mad right now I think I could spit fire. Just when I think that I have been through the worst in your life time, Well today is a bad day for me and my daughter as it is and then we had to deal with something that was the last last straw that broke the camels back as to say. Where do I start. My friends you all know that my daughter just had my third grandchild in July but 5 years ago today is when my daughter lost her first child my first grandchild at birth. She was only 20 years old when this happened, and I could not began to image what she was dealing with of the loss of her first born. But today as we went to the gravesite to visit with our little Leah, that is what she named her, Well my daughters grandmother had finally got the head stone because she said that she would pay for it and it was in place when me and my daughter got there. Now to fill in a few holes for you all here about why I am so mad it that her grandmother does not like the father of my grandkids because he is black and my daughter and her boyfriend are not married. This is what my daughters grandmother did, she poured salt in to my daughters wounds of her loss by misspelling my granddaughters name both first and middle and she also had my daughters and the fathers last name put on the stone. My daughters last name should not of been put on there and she has said that she didnt want it on the stone becuase that was not her little girls name. She has been upset and crying all day and so have I. But this woman that calls herself a grandmother right now is so proud that she has my daughter upset and has told my daughter that she paid for the stone and she will put what she wants on it and that my daughter had no say in it. She is so wrong and I called her and asked her what the hell was she thinking and she started yelling at me and told me to stay out of it, Uh, this is my grandchild in which my daughters grandmother is really her great grandmother. I cant believe that someone could stoop so low in life to do something like this, to be so hateful because she dont like the father but then she can go and cry at the graveside like she did nothing wrong. I have told my daughter that tomarrow we will see about getting the stone fixed the right way and have it removed til we can get a new one for Leah. I just had to vent this out and I know that my friends here will help me get my nervers commed down some. Thank you all for your shoulder tonight. Much Love to all.
6 people like this
16 responses
@Riptide (2756)
• United States
25 Oct 07
What a nasty and spiteful thing to do! I am so sorry you and your daughter have to go through this. I don't know how anybody can be so nasty and evil.
She will get hers at the end though,people like that always do. She made a fool out of herself for all to see and that will come and bite her in her racist a$$.
Big hugs to you and your daughter!
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
25 Oct 07
You said it right. What goes around comes around.
2 people like this
@MommaOfAllTrades (969)
• Canada
25 Oct 07
You both have every reason to be angry! I don't care who paid for the stone, and excuse me if I sound harsh but it has nothing to do with you, your daughter, her boyfriend or any one else. This is about respect for the little one! Please do have the stone changed, for Leah's rights!
2 people like this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
25 Oct 07
we are having it changed our I will buy a different one myself. You be as harsh as you need to be I am. I think yesterday I called this woman everything but a white woman. The name she had put on the stone is not the name that is on the birth cert. Hugs!
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
25 Oct 07
Oh dear you poor thing, I would have it removed also, I just don't understand some people, why do people deliberately hurt people in that way, there should be just love for the little angel that has passed and compassion for all that loved her, all I can say is that little angel is watching it all and who is looking good and bad in her eyes...peace be with you.
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
4 Nov 07
OMG!!! I would be FURIOUS!!!
She can put what ever she wants on it because she PAID for it?!?! What the hell?! She didn't name the baby - her PARENTS did! She can't just change the child's name or the way it's spelled!!! WOW she's inconsiderate and just plan MEAN! That's is the lowest of the low right there.
If she didn't like the child's father why ofter to pay for it in the first place?
I hope you where able to get the baby a new stone or at least have that one removed. I'd send it to your daughters grandma's house in a box all shattered up.
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
5 Nov 07
You're welcome.
I know what you mean. I grew up in a very..well...redneck town. They're not many people 'of color' there and well...stereotypes ring true there.
Personally I don't see what the difference skin color makes. If you're a good person then you are a good person. My uncle didn't tell anyone that his daughter was pregnant having a second baby because she was pregnant by a black guy. That's crazy. Though he did turn out to be a bad guy. Punched her in her face a few months back and it threw her 5 feet. But this is like 5 years after the fact.
My best friend from childhood is pregnant with a mixed baby now and her Grandparents aren't speaking to her. My Grandmother doesn't like the idea of it but still supports her and will love the baby regardless. My Grandma has adopted her and her mom (who is my mom's best friend) into the family. Her mom has a 2 year old who calls her Ninny (my 3 year old cousin started calling her that and it caught on with the other younger ones LOL).
Anyway I'm sorry I got strayed...you know me :)
The point is I can't imagine anyone I know - related or not - doing that. That's just evil.
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
5 Nov 07
She did it that way because of not likeing the father and she paid for it, she only paid for it so that she could pull some crap like this. She didnt even want the father's name on the birth cirt. because he and my daughter are not married yet. I thought that I had seen some mean sh!t in my time because of where I was born and grew up at but I just dont see anyone in my home town doing some sh!t like this ever. Thanks for the support Gnostic. XXOO
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
25 Oct 07
Hi hoghoney,
Wow! I am so sorry that you and your daughter have to go through this. What a mean, and spiteful thing to do. Also for her to tell you to stay out of it is crazy! That is your girl, how could you not get upset by it? My heart, thoughts, and love are with you and your daughter!
Love & Hugzz, Your Friend, PurpleTeddyBear!
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Thank you Purple, it was a big shock for me and my daughter when we got to the graveside that my daughter just lost it there, she could not believe what she was looking at. I told her GGma that we are going to have her baned from going to Leah's graveside and if she did I would be taking her to court because she has hurt my daughter for the last time. Hugs!
2 people like this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
26 Oct 07
It's too bad, and very sad that it has come down to you thinking of banning her from the gravesite. Again I am really sorry that she has hurt you guys so badly.
My heart, thoughts, and love are with you both!
@TazRes (827)
• United States
5 Nov 07
That is just crazy hoghoney, the nerve of some people, I would have been furious also. There's no good coming to her after what she did. I hope that you and your daughter got rid of that head stone and got it correct.
My prayers are with you hun.
Hugs!!
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Thank you, yes we order a new one with the right name on it so we should have in before Thanksgiving gets here so that my daughter can decorate Leah's site for the holidays. Right now she just cant bring herslef to go and visit because she knows that she will have to look at the stone and it would just get her all upset again.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Wow,I think that was mean.I am sure it would have ticked everyone off thoroughly to. Why do some people have to be so stubborn? I hope you get that tombstone fixed that way your grandbaby can be honored and remembered the right way by the right name. Maybe they can blast the name off and make a design or something and just write on th back of the tombstone to save cost. I know now to not just let people to take care of things when it involves something so precious like that. Maybe next time something like this ever happens and she or someone else wants to foot the bill make sure that you or she does all the details and just send her/them the bill because that way things will be as you want it. I have been trying to talk to my husband who is 45 about burial things and disions like picking out things and paying monthly on them so maybe by the time me or him does pass that will be one less worry off my mind and his. beats paying burial insurance monthly and not really knowing if it cover everything. Sorry for rambling on about that...I am sorry for everything and I hope that things get straightened out and that she the great grandmother does also and hopefully she will apologize for what she has done and about the misspelling maybe she didn't know the correct way but she should have called and asked to make sure. My cousin married a person of color and her parents disowned her for a few years. You know they didn't accept her back into their lives until my great grandmother passed and they met their 3 grandbabies and now it is different for her they the grandchildren are the apples of their grandparents eyes. I am glad that her parents have changed their mean ways because they would just say bad bad things about her and them but I am glad that is now resolved and for the best.
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
25 Oct 07
I dont think that my daughter will ever forgive her GGma for this, the woman will go to her grave thinking that she is still right for doing what she did. My daughter also has an aunt that is married to a black man and they dont have any problem with him but I think that is only because he is really Jamaica and is real light skined and my daughters boyfriend is kind of dark black but he is a good man to her and the kids. Her GGma just dont want his name on the headstone and that is all it is about, she even started a fight with my daughter in the hospital when she had her because she put the fathers last name on the birth cert. I hate to say this but I do hope that she rots in hell for what she has done. thanks for the support, Hugs!
1 person likes this
@seagoddess28 (873)
• Canada
25 Oct 07
Holy moly, super nasty! I can't believe this type of behaviour still exists in this day and age. Sadly, you can choose your friends but not your relatives, HH!! My heart goes out to you and your daughter for the hurtful actions of this old dingbat. I will not fan the flames of your anger, but I will send you and your daughter healing energy (Reiki). I will do so for Leah as well, poor little angel, I can't understand how that ogre of a woman can do this to her own flesh and blood. It is really sad that people cannot go beyond what is on the surface. I am brown and my husband is white. I've been insulted to my face for being "mixed up" (not funny at all!) but I think this ill-mannered, ignorant behaviour will persist until we are all a uniform shade of gray! Love you lots, my friend. Be cool. HUGGGSSSS!!!!
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
26 Oct 07
I for one thank god that my kids walk on the gray side of life. That is the sad thing that there are still people out there in this world with that kind of behaviour in them. Thank you for the healing energy for us and Leah, she was lost but will live on in me and my daughter forever. Love you, Big Hugs!
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
25 Oct 07
Oh I suspect you will get tons of replys here. I could just feel the hair stand up at the back of my neck. What that woman did was not only rude it was flat out ignorant. She paid for the head stone and she says it will be her way, so tell her she's right it is her way and left the way she has it all but one problem it's on her door step to decide what part of her garden she would want this thing. Leah has been this long without a headstone and if it was me this dam thing wouldn't have lasted there for any longer than it would take me to lift it off of there. You did say you were asking friends to help calm you down and I'm sorry I'm letting you down here but there's no calm words to offer tell her to go for a ride on her broom till she finds a good spot for that headstone, and hopefully she'll make it home on the 31st. in time to hand out treats. Take Care and Good Luck my friends.
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Oh I am not done with this woman yet, I will become her worst nightmare, I think that I should save the stone til she passes away and then put it on her grave, that way she can get use out of her 800 dollars. Just being able to get this off my chest with friends it what s keeping me calm. Thank you for the loving words, Big Hugs!
@santuccie (3384)
• United States
17 Nov 07
My condolences to you, your daughter, and the rest of your family. And I'm so sorry to know of such a bitter blow against your daughter, her boyfriend, and their child; by a grandmother of all people. I hope you are able to get this resolved with as little "bloodshed" as possible. Hugs!
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
14 Dec 07
Thank you for your support but heck bloodshed, my poor kids are desendents of the McCoys of the Hatfields and McCoys from back in the day, they great great great grandpa was one of the McCoys, if you have ever heard of them or about their battle. That is all this family knoww how to do is fight with others.
1 person likes this
@santuccie (3384)
• United States
15 Dec 07
I'm not familiar with the story, though the names ring a bell for some reason. From the way you say it, I'm assuming these are a couple of those families I might see on Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, or The People's Court. I really feel for you and your daughter, and I do hope this thing can be resolved somehow. It's something else how people, and even family, can be so cold to each other. :(
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
25 Oct 07
OH, hoghoney, I am so sorry that you and your daughter were subjected to such rude behavior. It is what I call doing something good and then canceling it out with something bad. I've never lost a child personally, but I am sure that if I had, I would love that child just as much as I do the ones I have living. Don't let this matter keep you down because it is not worth it. You and your daughter do what you can to try and fix the problem, and I will have both of you in my thoughts.
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Thank you World, Yes were are taking with the place that it was made to have them redo it and remove the other one. I am trying to get this done before the holidays so that my daughter can enjoy her visit with Leah and not have to look at someones hate. I just cant believe that the cemetery even let them put it on her grave because that is not the name of the person that they buried there and that is the same place that we had the graveside furnnal at, you think that they would of said no to this woman. thank you for the support, Love ya.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
25 Oct 07
hoghoney dear, you have every right to be angry. I so would be too! One thing you have to do in this case is "Consider the source, consider the source". What this so called woman or human being did is totally uncalled for and cruel. Definetly needs to be removed and the correct one put up. God, I don't understand people anymore. How in the world can they do this? She needs to be written out of your lives for good. If she did it once, you can bet that she'll do it again.
1 person likes this
@Countrymom (371)
• United States
25 Oct 07
I am so sorry this happened! That is horrible! I would think that your daughter, being the parent of Leah could have it corrected, she could talk to the place that made the headstone and tell them names are misspelled and that it cannot stay in place that way. What a mean thing to do! Its tragic enough to loose a child. I know as I lost one myself and the thought that a headstone would be so miss guided would certainly have sent me over the edge! Sounds to me like her grandmother is a mean and spiteful woman who if she doesn't like people will do what she can to hurt them. Give your daughter a big big hug for me and tell her how sorry I am! If I were your daughter I would see to it that grandma has to pay for the corrections of the headstone too! After all, it was her error to begin with!
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
25 Oct 07
This woman did this just to piss off my daughter because of her boyfriend, because her GGma dont like him, but at least he does take care of my daughter and their two sons and he is a hard worker but she will go around calling him a bum and everything else. Thank you for the support. HUGS to you also.
1 person likes this
@missybal (4490)
• United States
26 Oct 07
That is sick and twisted on so many levels. I don't understand why she would misspell the child's name? If she cared for the child then how could she misspell the name. The whole putting the last names of both the mother and father I understand is a point blank stab in the back, but I don't get why a grandmother would misspell her grandchild's name. If she wasn't going to do it right why did she even say she was going to pay for the grave stone? Basically she wasted her money to intentionally hurt someone when the stone will only be removed and someone else would be paying for a new stone. It's riddiculus. I'll pray for your daughter and that terrible excuse for a grandmother.
