Are daughters given a different treatment by parents when compared to boys?
By subathra
@subathra (3519)
India
October 25, 2007 10:53am CST
The life of women has been changing inch by inch for the past 20 years or more. I do not say that there are no hurdles for women at present in this society as some parents still believe in old traditions in objecting to the rise of women.
The parents still impose time limit to their girls . They expect them to return in time after their office hrs.If they do not return say before 8 p.m.the mother come and stand at the door step looking for her daughter thinking as to why she is getting late without realising it nowadays difficulty to make things in time as the delay becomes unavoidable due to various reasons or keep calling their daughters to make sure about their arrival. L oad of work and traffic jam could be the cause .Offcourse its the fear of parents about daughters safety but the one iam referring here is about those parents who dont trust their daughters.. Unless you trust your daughter who is going to trust her.
Many parents say that they fear for the society as girl children are their greater responsibility till they give her into marriage..and the other main reason is more and more cases of girls being abducted for money,jewels , raped by anti social elements etc.,Hence parents always monitor their girl children than to their male children..they keep a watchfull eye over them..
But i feel lot have changed in treatment given by parents as being a daughter i know how much freedom personally am enjoying and my parents never treat me indifferently from my brothers in any aspect..I have heard from many of my friends saying that their parents treat them different when compared with their brothers..
There may reason why she is worried. Being well educated and having well paid job they buy whatever they want and go for late parties Since they try to do things on their own naturally the parents are very much concern
over their daughters welfare.
Please share your opinion and experience...
2 people like this
15 responses
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
26 Oct 07
HI subathra
U r right, now things and thinking both are changing. Girls are coming a head and participating in every field of life.
As far as safety isd concern, parents are concern about both boys and girls, regardless how independent they are , parents wait for them, i am sure ur mom wait for u as well as for ur brothers till they all are home, isnt it?
this thing u understand when u r parent ur self.
As far as trust is concern, u r right some parents might not trust their kids(girls and boys) but their are lot who trust their kids, thats why all colleges , universitiees are filled with girls (even co education), they are doing job, staying in hostels. But at the same time our society, our culture are senstive aout girls and GodForbid if every thing wrong happen to girl, whole family get distrubed. so i would says its not matter of trust but its matter of Fear.
In our society, Security of individual is not proper, Law and justices are not intact, Racism is there so Pareants are always in FEAR when their kids are away from home.
As far as i am concerned, i thinks daughters are more dear then boys.
take care dear
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
26 Oct 07
see u use right word, its fear. fear of society . as some thing nasty might not happen to u, as u r at ut parents home but ur real home is ur hubbys home and they want u to be there safe and sound
i am sure u got my point now, take care and have peace in ur life
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
25 Oct 07
There are two things to remember on this issue
1. In olden days, daughters were considered as a curse in the family and boys are always preferred. There were parents who used to kill the daughters and wait for male child. Gone are the days, it is proved beyond doubt that it is the daughters who take care of the parents in the old age than the boys who catch the pallu of the saree of his wife most of the time and becomes her obedient servant.
The scenario is changed drastically and people do welcome daughters (at least in cities), they study well, they are reasonably sincere and faithful and after marriage they try to do something good better than most boys. Thirdly it is the daughters who study well and get in to plump posts and earn money better than boys before their marriage and after marriage it is left to husband whether his wife should continue to go for job.
1 person likes this
@spoiled311 (5500)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
nice discussion. i have heard of favoritism in our society for sons over daughters. but this is not very common. we are a pretty modern society and children of both senses are given fair treatment. if ever there is favoritism, it is really because of one being the eldest, the middle child, or the youngest--not really because of genders.
anyway, in my case, i am a girl and the eldest. i have pretty much authority around the house and my younger brother acts like a younger brother around me. i am his protector and provider and we talk to each other and treat each other with respect, eventhough we are now adults. i have a wonderful relationship with my only brother, and our parents treat us well. :-)
@kodie420 (872)
• Canada
25 Oct 07
Yes I honestly believe that teenage girls get treated way differently then boys. I think this stems from the olden days where men where the strong workers that need no protection where as a woman was considered fragile back then. I know its double standard but now being a parent of 3 kids myself I find I let my 12 year old son do more then my 2 daughters who are older because every chance I have given them, they have screwed up pretty bad. To me its like girls can get into more trouble then boys around that age and maybe this is why the rules are so different between boys and girls while growing up.
1 person likes this
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
26 Oct 07
I dont really agree 100% with what your saying. Sure..i got away with more then my brother did in the responsibility department. But when it came to going out..partying and stuff..they tend to trust the sons more because they believe they'd be able to take care of themselves better and are able to look out for themselves.
1 person likes this
@clamarco808 (312)
• United States
26 Oct 07
I definitely believe there's a big difference in some families where the double standard method is always in play. I guess it has alot to do with the girl being able to get pregnant. Thing is that boys are equally to blame for that one so I don't know why it's like that. I guess some people think that it's better to say that your son got someone pregnant than to say that your daughter got pregnant by some guy?
1 person likes this
@varunkrishna007 (1909)
• India
15 Nov 07
I belong to south india in kerala and in my state i havent seen much of such discrimination.but ofcourse i have heard about such things happening.especially if the parents are iliterate they think that girl child is a burden to the family.this feeling mainly breeds due to the dowry system that still exists in various parts of the society.i think its high people must be aware that discrimination is not a solution to any prooblem.you can see girls have outdone boys in many fields so they have the calibre within them that needs to be nurtured rather than discouraging the talents of a daughter.i think this awareness can be brought in only by proper education and i think the government should take stringent measures in eradicating such evil practices.
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Yes, my grandmother and aunt wanted me to be very girly, the same with my cousin and brother, but I rebelled against that. I knew I wanted to do the boy thing, but no one would let me. Now, I do as mostly what I want to do, and my boyfriend loves it. He believes the women who read comic books should be respected and not rejected.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
26 Oct 07
I also agree to the fact that time has changed.
In my family also i was never differenciated from my brother in anything.
My parents also get tensed more when I am late to return home after office.
They are very clear about the reason of my being late but can't help as they know the danger that lie for us in our society.
i don't consider is as different traetment, but the different atitudes towards women in our society.
If it was a better place to live, it would have been something different.
@mdchennai (2129)
• India
16 Nov 07
I accept your point that now a days girl are treated equally to boys and that is a good sign. But frankly speaking, parents will have more concern for girls than boys in the case of security and society. It is like, if a girl does something wrong then the whole society will speak about it but if a boy does the same thing, society wont speak anything. So parents see to it that their daughter dont get into such issues. I am surely against the parents who dont trust their daughters. By doing so, it may lead that girl to a bad way of life. Anyway, its far better than the older generation and will be more better in the future generation.
@rb200406 (1824)
• India
9 Nov 07
Daughters will always be given diffrent traetment because our society is like that.Girls always are insecure & even if they do everything there is always a risk.Take the recent case of the girl from Pune who was raped & murdered .Due to the thinking of some man which is evil the girls have alwyas have to suffer.But yes girls have to be educated & should be made to stand in there own feet .The life of a woman should not have only motive of being married & if in a abusive relationship then she shold be able to speak & stand in her own feet.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
26 Oct 07
Hello friend. I think that it is true that daughters are treated by their parents differently. Parents worry more about girls than boys when they are out somewhere, or even when they are in love with their boyfriends. Parents have their own reasons for this. Anyway I think that it is out of parents' love and concern to their girls. To me, it is the same. I care more about girls when they are outside home.
@brookehaun (233)
• United States
28 Oct 07
I think girls are kept ona tighter chain than boys by parents!! It seems girls can get into more trouble, but i think it is pretty much equal in terms of how much can happen to either male or female!
@koolezzi (14)
•
26 Oct 07
hi i want to say that women is coming up in the society day by day and where men should work now women are working there but you cant change the nature if she is women she will be a women by wearing jeans and t-shirt she will not become man so she have something different that man the things that are different in the women worries there parents that why they are more concern for there daughter that there son cause the mother know what is the life of a girl and she knows what are the problems come in womens life and they also know that son can do his job very well and can face every aspect of life by himself but women cant do she need someone with her so her mother are with her till she goes to her husbands house
so it is fare to give more attention to the daughter than to son i m not telling that they shouldnt give but they have to balance between them
