A Break
By reykja
@reykja (121)
October 28, 2007 3:12am CST
My bf asked for a break, saying that he wants to freeze everything around him and sort things out in his life. He says that I'm still his girlfriend. Should I be worried?
We're in a longdistance and since he went home last term, a mutual friend told me that, my bf was always absent, his mind was never there, he was always thinking of Switzerland (I'm studying there now). In the end, my boyfriend wasn't happy in his home country because he was always off thinking about me. It made him lack energy and then, he just kind of lost his social life. This is especially true this term, since he started in a new university and has to commute by train everyday. Now he is claiming that the break is helping him, that he's been out to dinners with friends etc... I don't know but maybe this is him trying to sort out his social life first, to be happy where he is? The mutual friend says that maybe during the break, my bf will figure out how to balance things in his life because in the past, there was no balance and he only kept thinking about Switzerland. Maybe he is trying to figure out how to have is life in his home country while at the same time, having me here.
I've even now considered to go to his home country for an exchange semester but I don't know if I should tell him this now or after the break.
My friend says that she thinks that a real true love will go beyond the dreaming period, where everything seems so fine and happy. She says that when the two people realise that they have to face the real world and they make it through, this is a great relationship. She says that you have to know how to live independently of your partner, yet be somewhat dependent at the same time. She thinks that maybe my boyfriend is learning how to do that now, through the break.
Should I at all worry about this break and its outcome? Sometimes I feel sad but at the same time, it is making me more independent of him. The worst is that I don't know for how long it will last but my bf says that the past few days, it has already been helping him. I'm also scared about the outcome of it.... what will happen after the break.
10 responses
@saiwailaozei (363)
•
5 Dec 07
just like your friend said that true love can bear everything,even now there's some difficulty.
if your BF really love you, you neeedn't to worry about it; if your BF don't love you enough and say goodbye to you ,that 's also needn't to be sad as what you lost is only a man who don't belong to you. and you will find the MR right in future.
so ,just let it be. in addition,it's not a must to tell him about that your are going to see him if he really loves you .
good luck!
@varunkrishna007 (1909)
• India
1 Nov 07
well i find yours as a strange situation i dont think you will have to worry much he will surely come back to you
@MGjhaud (23240)
• Philippines
30 Oct 07
Ohw that’s sad and scary too. Well maybe he really needs some space and if the time he promised to get back to you is possible then just wait, maybe he has other things to fix to make things better in his life. And .your understanding is much appreciated I know, just be there and hold on to your relationship. Just I hope he won’t make you wait long for nothing so before any space happening between both of you, clear things out if how long or what.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
28 Oct 07
I'm leaning more towards the negative side of this relationship. You are far apart and he wants a break. Ok, that makes me wonder why and what's the purpose. If you were in the same location I could understand the situation. On the other side of the coin, maybe he's trying to decide if you're the one.
If this relationship is meant to be, it will be. Distance, race, religion or background won't change how you feel about each other.
Regardless of what happens, I wish you the very best.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
29 Oct 07
I believe that I understand how you feel. You are afraid taht your boyfriend would someday wake up and realize that he is already happy without you, you are afraid that he would not be needing you anymore and from that things will change. I believe taht you should trust him but never make him feel that its ok without you. Call him more often, and show him how much you love him.
@raychill (6525)
• United States
28 Oct 07
I think you should talk to him to find out what's going on and if you should be worried about this break. I don't think anyone besides himself could tell you what his true feelings are or why he's doing what he's doing.
It doesn't make sense to me personally that if he misses you so much he'd want a break from you. But, that's just my personal perspective.
I think you just need to talk to him.
@tatzkie (644)
• Philippines
28 Oct 07
a break is an oppurtunity for both of you to grow stronger as individuals and not just as a couple. I know that this kind of event in the lives of lovers is painful and full of uncertainties. It is natural to be afraid.
But the most important part of such event is the upcoming realization of one another's importance to each other. Just remember: what cant kill you is meant to make you stronger. :)
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
28 Oct 07
I agree completely with brooke. If you two are really meant to be, then you'll be together again in the long run.
I had a long-distance relationship, too. We broke up once due to some reason, but in the end we got back together. Now we're married and we live together (I come from Indo, he comes from Finland).
I think your friend's right...your boyfriend needs to find balance in life. I know that distance can be SO tough on men, just like it happened to my man...so just be happy where you are, keep in touch with him...and see how it'll be like. And GOOD LUCK!!!! :-)))
@brookehaun (233)
• United States
28 Oct 07
If there is one thing I have learned about true love it would be that if it is true love he will come back. No matter if he is taking a break to discover himself or to experiment a little if it is meant to be he will realize he wants you. Don't obsess over it though! Go out iwht your friends, and make the best of our free time, and keep yourself busy so your not thinking of him all of the time! In the mean time see what his true intentions are by not contacting him all of the time! give him the space he wanted and it may make him realize he wants you!!
@deserve40 (1656)
• India
28 Oct 07
I do not think that you should be worried about it.
"Adversity introduces one to oneself".
You have a chance to know yourself. Your bf says that he wants to freez everything around him- why? What is wrong with him?
If you really love him, try to help him out of the situation he is facing.
Another thing is that if does not want to be with you, what can you do? Life does not here. Many a times we do not give ourselves second chances to restart our life and so we go into deep frustration.
Don't allow the frustration to over take you...
