I need to know the results but I'm scared of what they will show
By recycledgoth
@recycledgoth (9894)
October 29, 2007 7:53am CST
I don't usually start discussions like this, but right now I feel the need to open up to my MyLot friends.
For a couple of years now I have had a lot of trouble walking, pains in my knees and ankles, my left leg swells up so badly I can't wear shoes comfortably and I have a lot of pain in my lower back. I put up with it thinking that it was probably just the dreaded old age creeping up on me but around 18 months ago I began to experience pains in my shoulders, elbows and wrists. I noticed that there were times when I would get a shooting pain down my left arm and my hand would go numb. I went to my doctor who prescribed me painkillers and did nothing else.
The problem got steadily worse until I reached a point where I was finding it almost impossible to walk upstairs without pains and the *pins and needles* in my left arm got more noticeable. So I returned to my doctor and asked her what could possibly be wrong with me, and she prescribed more painkillers and advised me to take it easy. So, because I don't like to take up my doctor's valuable time, I continued with the pain killers and put up with the pains until it reached a point where the pain in my lower back and knees became agonising on occasions and I realised that I couldn't put up with it any more.
Six months ago, while on my way into the doctor's surgery for more pain killers, I realised that something was seriously wrong and that I had to insist that my doctor take this problem seriously. So I told her that I was sick and tired of being in constant pain, having to just take pain killers. She checked my blood pressure and found it was way too high - no doubt caused by all the pain and upset over the past couple of years, and I was put onto medication to lower my blood pressure. The doctor wasn't prepared to investigate the causes and I finally lost my temper and insisted on a referral to find out exactly what was wrong with me.
After some discussion she reluctantly agreed to refer me to the hospital and they arranged for an MRI scan to see if they could identify the cause of the pain, particularly in my left shoulder and arm. I still find walking difficult, climbing the stairs painful and my lower back hurts like heck some days. So I was glad that, finally, someone was doing something to find out what was wrong.
Finally, I am due to see a consultant to get the results of my MRI scan. I have an appointment on Wednesday afternoon and although I am hopeful that they will have an answer and a course of treatment for me, I am really worried about what the MRI scan will show. I have thought of all the possible consequences, arthritis, osteoporosis, rhumatism, etc., but I am worried silly about what is likely to happen next. I have always tried to be upbeat and cheerful, but today I am sitting here, my left shoulder aching and my knees clicking and creaking, and, to be honest, I know I am only making myself feel worse as I worry.
I have given up trying to find a job as I know that my state of health is just not up to me working full time anywhere, and I don't feel I can claim any disability benefits as I have not, officially, been classified as unable to work due to poor health. I have been able to mask my worries and fears from my family and friends, and my partner has only a small idea of how worried I am. Have I been silly in hiding my fears? Should I have spoken out to the doctor sooner?
Having read through this posting I must apologise if I come across as whining or complaining, it wasn't meant to be. My question here would be, do you worry about results from medical examinations?
5 people like this
24 responses
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
6 Nov 07
Thank you sweetie, I now have my results and some decisions to make.
1 person likes this
@MarieJ23 (1040)
• United States
29 Oct 07
I understand what you feel Recycledgoth. Even me, there are really some cases that I am so afraid to know the truth especially if it has to do with mine and my family's health. Two months before my medical for my US visa, I suddenly felt extreme back pain. My husband wanted me to have a check up but I was hesitant at first because like you I am afraid what the result is. Since hubby was very persistent in persuading me to see a doctor before my visa medical, so I called the doctor and scheduled for a check-up after a week when I first feel the pain. The doctor said there was nothing wrong with me but to make it sure he recommended me to have an xray. There was nothing wrong with my xray so the doctor told me it has to do with the coldness in the office. I had a new place in the office and I my back is somewhat hit by the air from the air-conditioning unit. So you see, I have been worried with it for a couple of days and I even have sleepless nights just thinking about it but thanks God it turned out good. You are not alone in it. And I am happy to know that you finally make the most important step which is undergoing the MIR. I hope and pray here that everything will turn out just fine. Please keep us updated. Good morning!
2 people like this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
Thank you for your kind words hun, and I promise to post when I get my results.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
29 Oct 07
Sweetie I know how you feel but please try to stay calm and I am talking out experience here 6 years ago I went through that fear and it is awful I got the results well as you know I am classed as disabled
I am going through more tests right now because of my hip/ leg and I am scared at the moment as they are not finding anything yet but I am trying to swallow the Fear if I don't I will end up with a Panic Attack again like I did last week and that affects my Lungs bad
I really do not know what is up with Doctors today they just do not care anymore she should have sent you for those Tests straight away with the Pains that you had specially up your left Arm
Sweet my thoughts are with you and what ever they find you will get the Treatment and you will get through it
Big Hugs
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
Thank you Gabs, I feel silly worrying like this but after all this time I am so anxious now and I know my doctor certainly doesn't seem to care very much.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
29 Oct 07
Everyone is different, some people don't want to know, others do. Some people hold their pain in, others share it. I personally always want to know if something's wrong so I can either fix it or deal with it. And I also include my loved ones in my pain as well as happiness - they get it all. I think it's easier for me to deal with stuff that way.
Try not to be too paranoid about the visit today - and I hope you do update for us. Over the summer my cousin went through something similar. A couple years ago she had shooting pain in her shoulder and arm and her hand went numb. The doctor prescribed pain meds and told her it was a pinched nerve. Well, it did go away until this summer. It was back with a vengance. She could not hold onto anything in one hand and was limited in the other. The pain was horrible. She finally got a doctor - not hers - to get her an MRI. The MRI showed a slipped disk. She had surgery the next week and now, 2 months later is almost 98% back to original.
She has since switched doctors since the "misdiagnosed" her years ago and were trying to do it again. I don't know why doctors don't take the time to listen to us.
Best of luck to you!!!
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
30 Oct 07
Yes, definitely get another doctor. You have to be able to trust the person who is supposed to be advising you on your health!!
Good luck on Wednesday - keep us posted!!
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
OMG all that due to a misdiagnosis. I am coming round to the idea of changing my doctor just as soon as I can find another one.
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
30 Oct 07
Hi Hun!
I think everyone worries over some kind of medical results. A whole bunch of thoughts go through your mind, and it's fear of the unknown. I think it might make you feel a little better though if you either confide in your partner or a close friend about just how worried you really are. That might help. Please keep us posted!
Love & Hugzz, PurpleTeddyBear.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
31 Oct 07
This is it, I'm about to log off and head off to the hospital. My partner is with me and I am trying to be optimistic. hugs hun
1 person likes this
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
1 Nov 07
Good Luck Sweetie!
Luv & Hugzz, PurpleTeddyBear.
1 person likes this
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
30 Oct 07
GOOD LUCK on your test result. It's OK to worry though don't worry too much. Well, it's better for you to talk about it to your partner. Maybe it'll make you relieved. But anyway, hope it'll all be well for you and that the doctor can finally find out what happens and gives you the right kind of medication.
My Mom experienced SO MUCH pain in her knee last year (spreading to her back) and we went to different doctors. Finally we went to a specialist and he found out that since she had experience menopause, her body had stopped producing "oil for her joints". So ever since then, she's started taking supplements: Glucosamine, Chondroitin, and MSM. I don't know if your problem's the same or not, but I've heard other people who have problems with their joints and the supplements help A LOT. I don't think my Mom can live without the supplement now. Supplements work slowly but they do work...it took her three months before she could benefit totally from them. Nowadays she always take it every day.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
30 Oct 07
Thanks for your kind words hun. I might look into supplements, I only have a day to wait now and I should feel a little less worried.
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
30 Oct 07
Yeah, just one more day. I'll look forward to reading the result in another discussion. ;-D Take care!!!
1 person likes this
@MGjhaud (23240)
• Philippines
7 Nov 07
My sister felt something like yours before. She loses weight a couple of years ago and I thought all because she had a heavy fever. But then I guess it’s not from that so I ask her to go to her doctor and just to make sure everything’s okay with her. When she was to go back to know the doctor’s finding’s she’s having second thoughts because she don’ want to know, she’s scared.
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
8 Nov 07
I hope your sister is ok hun, it is scary but she really needs to get things sorted out
@annettenasser (2992)
• Kuwait
10 Nov 07
Yes of course,especially when you feel bad and the results takes time to finish. I should be worrying already.Health must be a big issue. we cannot function well if we are sick and what can we do to our life if can't recover from our sickness?
@livewyre (2450)
•
30 Oct 07
From what you say, it doesn't look like you could have done much more that you have, you went through the right channels, but your doctor seemed slow to respond. The Doctors problem is that she needs to have an idea of cause from your symptoms before she can refer you for investigation or treatment. The truth is that the MRI may not actually even tell you what is wrong. Treat the MRI as just a step in the investigation, there is nothing magical about the MRI that will automatically detect everything that is wrong with you. If the Doctor has reluctantly admitted you for an MRI, she may well be just trying to placate you, and does not actually expect to find any great discovery of the cause of your pain.
The problem with painkillers is that they mask the problem - I would be tempted to reject painkillers and het a second opinion or see a reputable chiropractor or back specialist to see if they have any ideas of the cause of the pain. You have rightly identified that this type of pain does indeed come with age and personally I do have some pain in my back, neck and shoulders - but I see a chiropractor once a month, I know there is nothing that can be done medically, and the last thing I would let happen in have some surgeon playing with my neck and spine just because they thought they could 'fix' me.
The upshot is, look at your whole lifestyle, what are you doing to keep yourself in the best shape possible? do you eat right and excercise properly? Are you generally happy? it's surprising how all these things apparently external to our pain can actually have quite dramatic effects on our physically weakest areas.
Don't worry about the MRI, honestly the chances are it will tell you very little...
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
30 Oct 07
Thanks for your words. I am hoping to see a consultant as this has been going on for such a long time now and just taking pain killers isn't good.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
29 Oct 07
First , you are not whining or complaining.It is normal to worry but try not to worry too much. And tell your family and friends that you are worried and let them help you. They can help you If they now you need them. I hope everything works out.Take care.
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
Thanks hun, my partner will be coming to the hospital with me and I have no doubt he will tell my family too.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
30 Oct 07
if i were in your shoes, however tough i might be, i'll probably get scared too. ^.^ i'm a paranoid person when it comes to my own health and a little swelling or lump or itchiness here and there makes me think of the different possibilities that might be wrong with me. actually, i would be afraid to go to the doctor to have a check up if i feel that something's wrong with me. i would take it as an ordinary sickness and just wait till it heals by itself. its foolish but if im not experiencing any pain from it, or the pain comes and goes, i would continuously take it for granted and ignore it. ^.^
anyway, you have to be strong to get your results. it depends there on how you're gonna get well from those pains you are experiencing. it really is scary but i think you should look at it as the cure for your pains. expect it like something as a cure and not something like a terrible illness. its better to look at the brighter side of things than consume ourselves with worries. ^__^
goodluck and God bless you.
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
30 Oct 07
Thanks hun, I do feel a bit silly getting worked up about it all but having put up with it for so long I can't help but worry. Only one day to go and, hopefully, I should know a little more.
@MarkyB21 (1545)
•
29 Oct 07
First of all - don't worry about what you should or shouldn't have done. You have spoken out to the doctor now and something has been done. Focus on that! You have taken a very positive step forward.
The next step in my opinion would be to tell your partner, then your family and any particularly close friends - don't go on hiding your worries. Don't forget the saying that 'a problem shared is a problem halved' - although an exageration, talking about your worries with loved ones will help reduce your worries to some extent (and you won't have the burden of hiding the truth).
I think you should look forward to your results as there is now hope that you will find out what is actually wrong and what can be done. Even if the results are not good news at least you will know it and be in a position to do something to sort it out.
Best wishes for Wednesday - I hope it's good news with a simple solution. My honest advice would be to talk to your partner before then and, if it can be arranged, they could go with you to hear the results.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
Thank you Marky, I know I should tell but I don't like worrying them. I spoke to my partner on the phone this morning and reminded him of my appointment and he has arranged to take a day off work to come with me.
1 person likes this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
1 Nov 07
I, for one, do not worry about results from medical exams. Whatever is wrong with me, was wrong with me before I got there, and now that I know, I can start treatments on making it better. Its always best to know what's wrong with you when its comes to health, instead of not knowing, not treating it, and it getting worse. Don't worry about what the results are, just know that getting the results are getting you one step closer to solving the problem.
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
2 Nov 07
Now I have my results I have some decisions to make. thanks for the comment
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
30 Oct 07
Dear friend. I am so sorry to know that you have got such an unpleasant health problem. But I think that it is better not to get too worried about it because it will influence your health if you are over-occupied about it. You know, a good mood helps a lot in getting you recovered to the normal status of health. I wish you to get well soon with the pain reduced each day until you get completely recovered. Be blessed, dear friend.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
29 Oct 07
Its not silly to be worried about your health. I think they should have done something sooner. Im so glad you insisted on have tests done. I will say a pray for you that every thing turns out good for you and you can find out what is causing this pain. Hang in there and be strong.
1 person likes this
@Dolcerina (3376)
• Hungary
29 Oct 07
Yes, of course. Listen, you fear because you are in doubt. Everybody is fear from the unknown situations.
What is the worst can happen to you? YOu know.
On wednesday evening the wedensday afternoon will be the part of the History.
(It is easy to say, though nobody can worry like I can)
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
Thank you for your kind words, it's the waiting that is getting to me now
@shoelover (896)
• Australia
29 Oct 07
I am sorry to hear your doctor has waited so long before investigating why you have had all these problems. I wish you all the best in the results of the MRI scan. Hopefully it will turn out to be something easily fixed. Your doctor should have investigated further from the start when he realised the pain medication wasn't doing it's job. You are not silly in hiding your fears, it is a natural thing to do. I do it myself all the time.
I try not to worry too much about the results from medical examinations as I find the more I worry the more possible scenarios I can think of and each one worse than the previous one. Instead I try to push it from my mind until I get the results. It is a difficult thing to do though specially when it sounds like you have already come up with a few scenarios yourself.
Good luck, and please be sure to let us know the results once you know.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
Thank you hun, I wish I had seen a different doctor then maybe I wouldn't have had to put up with all this now. I will post again once I know my results, and thanks again
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
29 Oct 07
It can be hard. I try not to worry. But honestly, if something is really wrong, I'd rather know about it, than be ignorant while whatever is wrong is just getting worse. Would you have rather known ages ago, instead of just taking a pill that really didn't work?
I have a philosophy... if something feels wrong, I go to the doc. If he/she just prescribes a pill, I get a second opinion. Pills treat symptoms, NOT PROBLEMS. They don't fix what is wrong, they usually just cover it up.
I prefer homeopathic solutions anyhow.
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
Thanks hun, I must admit I don't like taking tablets, I would rather get the problem sorted.
@season0907 (671)
• India
29 Oct 07
First of all never get worried. Because worry makes you feel more about your illness. I feel this itself is the main cause for your health problem. You have developed fear when you 1st noticed pain. You wanted the doctor to say some thing wrong with your health. Since there is no such thing the doctor just gave you pain killers. Even now your MRI Scan is going to show every thing is normal. Dont get scred to know the result.Get the same with smiling mood and start your life just like others. Fear is the cause for many problems and it pave way for aggravting the problem. Be calm and feel positive about your health. You will be alright.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Oct 07
I hope you are right and that the scan shows everything ok, but I still need to find out what is wrong as the pain has been with me a long, long time and up to recently I haven't been worried all that much
