who to side with ?

First of all a child must know his/her place in the hierarchy of the home. He/she must respect the mother figure/elder figures in their life. Having a problem with a person in the home isn't bad, but how they handle it can be. That's where you come in. It's your job to define those roles and help your wife to do that as well. You still need to defend your wife, as well as listen to the child and decipher what is going on.

I should teach my children to not say such wording against there mother. I should defend my wife because she is my wife and wife is more than chisdren. she may be a house hold or a working lady. she is my wife after all. she depends upon me. she is second wheel of cart of my life and family. I should teach the repectable behavior with my wife and their mother.

If my spouse and child are arguing, I always side with my spouse. If I don't agree, I will speak with him later and give him my opinion. I will not go against him in front of the child. They seem to learn how to work it to their advantage, if you do. You need to stick together or they will learn how to use it against you and get their way.

I wouldn't side with the child due to the fact that kids do pick up on those kinds of issues and will use that to their advantage. I would speak to my spouse concerning what the child had said and then together I would speak to the child. I think a united front at home is the best way to handle things like this.

oh dear that sounds tricky. Well, personally I think that before anyone goes scampering off and jumping relentlessly on all sorts of possibly wrong conclusions there needs to be abit of poking around done. Not to say that children will lie for no good reason but as children-they may be easily confused and misguided in certain notions. Not to mention that as adults, we may misconstrue what they say to us. If you feel uncomfortable speaking directly to your wife for any possible reason it may be best to ask (or hire?) someone else to find out whatever it is you need confirmed. Note however that if this is more serious than you are letting on for personal reasons it may be best that the children are removed from the home? It is ultimately your call. All I am saying is that dont be so quick to take 'sides' but use common sense. They are your children after all but at the same time she is the woman you pledged to spend the rest of your life with...