What Would You Do If You Were In My Shoes?

You've been really nice to accommodate you friend's request. But all of that was you being helpful and should not be seen as an obligation on your part. It is sad that you have been taken for granted if not taken advantage of. I would probably give my friend a head's up a few days or a week in advance by saying, "Hey, I know I used to be able to pick your kid up before but starting next week, I'm sorry but I can't help you with that anymore." You don't need to give an excuse but keep one handy in case she asks. I would probably use your husband's recovery from surgery or schedule a task so that you will really be unable to accommodate her.

Honesty is the best policy. Sometimes you need to learn how to say 'no'. Cause if you don't, you'll end up being taken advantage of. Saying no can still make you a nice person and a firm one. From what i read your message, you got valid reason. Therefore, just tell her that with your committment, you are not able to manage her daughter anymore. However, if there's a need arises, please do not hesitate to find me. I will do my best to help. Remember, saying no is usually the hardest if you had been a nice person and say yes all the time. If you are able to do it and say no, life will be easier than you. Don't try to live up to other people's expectation. Live to what you want. Afterall, is your life and time you are talking about. Take care and hope that helps. Cheers.

I would just tell her that it is getting to be to much to handle with your own three kids plus another. So as not to cause bad feelings I would say , I can do it the rest of this week but starting say monday you will have to make other arrangements. Giving her a bit of notice will show good on your behalf as well. You could use the excuse that you have to stop some where on the way or something like that. Although you don't really owe her any explaination it will save hard feeling since your kids are involved in things together. Good luck

I feel for you. I had a similar situation. I babysit a brother and sister. Well this yeear the little girl and my son go to head start. Well the bus didnt come untill 10 oclock so I said I would put her on the bus since they got to my house at 9:30. I also said I would get her off the bus at 4 because they were at my house till 4:30. That was fine no problem. But them I moved downtown and the preschool dosent have room on the bus that comes our way so I have to self transport. She expected me to take her and pick her up from school. Hell I dont drive and I watch other children under the age of 3. I also had to self transport my son in kindergarten. So I have my mom take them and pick them up for school. Well I told the mom that she would have to find her own way to get her daughter there. She wasnt happy but she figured it out. I wasnt going to give my mom the responcibility of her too. What if god forbid she crashed and hurt the little girl? Well if her mom wanted to be a B*tch she could get my mom in trouble. I didnt want to deal with that and she needs to be responcible for her child. She only works at Pizza hut and should be able to leave work for 10 min to get her daughter and bring her to me. Some people figure if they can get someone else to care for there children they wont have to. I would tell that lady your sorry but unless she wants to pay you 10$ everytime you pick her up you wont do it. TO BAD!! Shes not your reaponcibility! I hope things work out for you!!

If it was me I would probably find a way to tell her or else if I don't I might just burst. It clearly shows she is taking advantage of you and one day has turned out to be 3 and often more depending on her doctors appointments and such. You have two other kids to worry about so I would actually say something to her, in a nice way. That is the tough part but if it was me, that would be the way i would go.

This happened to me many times when my kids were small and the best advice I can give is to just tell her directly that you can't do it anymore. I had some one actually drop there kid off at my house one time and didn't come back for four days!!!! They didn't even call! I told them that if I had wanted another kid I would have had another one! Just tell her and put it behind you! Better that then letting it upset you as you probably are carrying that resentment home with you to your family!

Wow! I was sitting here reading this, thinking "this person is sharing MY shoes!!" I have a neighbor a block away that has a son in the same grade as my son. Last year they were in kindergarten and we met on the first day and found out we live just one street away from each other. At first we both walked the children to and from school but she was pregnant and due in January. So after a while her doc put her on bed rest or something and I agreed to take her son to and from school. Come January and the baby is born and her excuse for not going to and from school now is that she doesn't want her newborn baby to get cold (we live in PA). Ok. Then springtime comes and by then she has already done what your friend did where she just stopped asking and expected it. Not a HUGE deal because I am going that way anyway but still... Then fast-forward to this school year. I am pregnant this time and due in December! We start out walking our kids to school together. She has her months old daughter and I have my 2 year old daughter that we have to take along because our boyfriends/husbands are working. We both have super-tired daughters that are just a little unhappy about having to wake up early to walk up to the school. Then one day she calls me in the morning and asks if I can take her son because she doesn't want to wake up her daughter. I say ok. No big deal- one time, right? Next day she calls again and says the same thing. Sure, why not? Since then she has stopped asking and just assumes that I will be there to pick him up. I guess it doesn't matter that I have a tired little girl that doesn't always want to wake up and that I am pregnant and sometimes in a great deal of pain. If for whatever reason I am not going up to the school I will NOT be taking her son!!! I will just call and say that I'm not going- sorry! Next. She starts seeing a new guy and decides that she wants to go away for the weekend. She asks if I can let her dogs out and feed them twice a day. I guess that's fine. It's not like I am going to be out of town so it's not a huge deal. I'm not staying home or going out of my way to go home if we are out doing something but I will pay them a visit two times in the day. It just might be really late. Just a little annoying since I don't like her dogs. Then she does it the next two weekends in a row!! And it gets better...A friend of hers calls her up from out of state all upset about a breakup he had. She immediately decides that she is going out there to see him. For a week and a half! Umm...did you FORGET that you have a son in school and a 10 month old daughter? No, of course not. A friendly neighbor will take him to school, pick him up and keep him until someone can come get him, right? WHY DID I SAY OKAY???!!!??? Little girl is taken care of- she will be staying with daddy and when daddy is at work she will be with the sitter. Her son will also stay with his step-dad overnight. Before S-dad goes to work he will drop off his daughter at the sitter then come here and drop off the boy for me to take to school. Good thing it is right when it is time to go and not early. I do NOT do early!!! After school I will be picking him up and he will stay with us until s-dad is done work. He is to pick him up before he gets home from work. He better!!! Because school is out at 3:20pm, I go to work from 3:45pm until 6pm. My boyfriend is home from work then and is with the kids. S-dad doesn't get back from work until about 7pm!!! So actually my boyfriend will have the responsibility of watching the kid most of the time. I will have to deal with him immediately when I get home from work. No...I'm not tired at all because I was busy most of the day and then had to go to work and then I have to make dinner when I come home and watch some kid!! So he will be in our care for 3.5 hours for 8 days. Oh...by the way, we barely have enough money to feed our own kids and I am pretty sure this one will be hungry when he gets off school too. WONDERFUL! WHY WHY WHY did I say ok? I need a break just thinking about this. Oh yeah- I got a few phone numbers in case I go into labor a few weeks early and have him in my care. So what happens if no one can come get him or it takes a while before they come? Am I just supposed to have the baby at home (not saying that is a bad thing but my insurance doesn't cover it and we aren't prepared for a home-birth!!) Or should I take him with me? So I called my mom and told her my problems. She said that from now on whenever I am asked to do something major like that to tell the person that I need to think it over and talk it over with my boyfriend before I make any kind of committment like that. She said that gives you time to come up with an excuse/reason (real or not!) Good idea! Wish I would have talked to her sooner!! If you happen to not be picking up your daughter then I would call and just let her know that you won't be going there that particular day. If you can't go to something and you know they are going ask her to take your daughter too. She owes you! And make sure that you aren't going out of your way to get her daughter to her (if she wants you to take her to her house instead of your own) If you have to, play her game. Say that you now have something to do as soon as you pick up the kids and that you will take them to your house and she can get her daughter there, preferably as soon as she can. (that is if she doesn't already do that). Don't be afraid to ask her for favors as well since she takes advantage of you. I hate to say it but it really makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one that lets someone walk all over me!! I was starting to think I was alone! Good luck and I hope that she stops using you like that.

Sounds like the problem may be going away, based on some of comments I read on the discussion. Nevertheless, I thought I would put my two cents in. Believe it or not, I have found that honesty is the best policy, especially in friendships. I would tell her that I didn't mind picking up her daughter once in awhile, but that I am feeling resentful and used at the frequency of it lately and would rather not do it anymore. At least you wouldn't be telling her a lie and you would be expressing your feelings. You could also add that you do value her friendship, (if you do), but you need a break. If she gets mad and it sounds like she did anyway, at least you have maintained your honesty and integrity. With some luck she may rethink her actions and come around. Lies always come home to roost and leave a much more bitter feeling than the truth anytime.