My cellphone... very personal..
By mycharm88
@mycharm88 (2288)
Philippines
November 2, 2007 3:49am CST
Hello my dear friends!!!Oh my!!!lol i have to ask this question, do you allow your partner or anyone close to you to read messages from your cellphone before you do? Do you find it annoying? or you don't mind at all?My bestfriend shares her problem with her hubby. He never lets her read messages because he consider it off limits because he also respects privacy of my friend with regards to phone, but this creates doubt on my friend. She is thinking that he might be hiding something from her, or something not good is playing in her mind something that is definitely not good. Sometimes it would lead them to a fight. She tried to ask him why, but he would just answer, simply because it's personal.... I don;t really know what to do to help her, but just to talk to him and to be honest with her feelings towards the situation.
As for me, i don't mind if my hubby reads my messages before i do. I've got nothing to hide, and besides i'm free to do that to his phone also. But it's a different story to other people reading my messages, it's a no no...c",) how about you?
4 people like this
22 responses
@cobradene (1171)
• India
2 Nov 07
It's truly very annoying when somebody fiddles with your cellphone. It's happened with me also and I really hate it. Once a friend of mine just wanted to see my handset and I gave it to him, and he started browsing all my contacts and I got very annoyed and asked him to stop right away. You should tell them on the face, no matter what the consequences are. But, I always believe in being straight forward. If they don't like it, it's up to them. I've had experiences when guys take my instrument and start removing and sim card and stuff and it really annoys me when they do that. They do all sorts of stupid things, but never respect another's property. They don't even have the awareness that this property belongs to another person and they must respect it. Even if it's your brother's or sister's or parents' property, you must respect a little bit of their privacy.
3 people like this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
Yup, i agree cobradene c",) i respect other peoples personal properties and i expect them to respect mine. I too have experienced a friend, taking off my sim card without asking permission first, i was just shocked to see him use my phone to call a friend! i mean, there would be no problem for me if he wants to use the phone but must have asked permission first and let me take the sim my self... there really are people like that and we must beware..lol anyway he is still my friend but warned him not to do it again, glad that he promised not to.
1 person likes this
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
2 Nov 07
As for me, I also dont mind if my partner reads my messages or takes my phone for two days because there is nothing to hide from him. And strictly he is the only one allowed to have my phone not even my sister or mother because there are messages from him to me and from me to him that we can not let anyone read. Prohibiting your partner from using your phone can lead to fights and doubts.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
Same here kwenge i don't really mind with my partner reading or browsing my phone.c",) I'm really worried about my friend, because this always caused a fight between them. And one other thing is that there is one suitcase in the house wherein she's not allowed to touch either... imagine that? he wouldn't tell her either what's inside that case. tc dear friend.
1 person likes this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
Yeah it's scary right, and it really bothered me what's inside that suitcase too. Thought it's none of my business, i did try to tell her to ask him again and again what's the reason why she's off limits on his phone and that suitcase and he would say "just stuff, very important"... really intriguing ey... He's not always around but he brings the key or hide it somewhere she couldn't find.
1 person likes this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
2 Nov 07
I don't mind them peeking or looking at my phone, I would like to look at it as keeping every possible things to happen. Otherwise, ii would mean that I could be hiding something.
It's simple, if one doesn't want the other to look at their things, then I guess it would be better if they hide their stuffs. Or either drop the relationship, since they don't TRUST one another.
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
Hi raijin, you're right about that. without trust, i guess there is not enough love...thanks for the nice response and do take care c",)
1 person likes this
@jedhimura (194)
• Philippines
2 Nov 07
Well for me its ok.. as long as they don't comment a lot on the messages i have in my inbox.. hehe
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
7 Nov 07
Welcome to my lot newbie!!!c",)
Ok jed, i respect that. Take care always
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
2 Nov 07
It will depend upon person to person and couple to couple. If a couple have good level of understanding (meaning hereby 'faith' in each other) then reading anyone's message is not a problem. But if a partner is questioned from another partner regarding sender of the message, then I treat it as invasion of privacy. I think there are some very personal things, which sometimes a partner does not feel comfortable sharing with his/her other partner.
@chrystal2277 (23)
• United States
2 Nov 07
There is a point you made that I can relate to. I have let my hubby use my cell plenty, even let him take sole posession of it for a week in the past. It wasn't an issue at all, until I caught him checking my call lists and text messages. Then I felt like my privacy was invaded. Not because I had anything to hide, but because when I asked him about it he denied it. When he realized I could prove it he said he was just curious who I was talking to. I was livid, not because it was "my" property but because I felt like he was being sneaky and untrusting. Does that make any sense?
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
I do trust my partner but if things like that happens to me like him being peaky in my phone i would've felt the same as you crys...We do talk about things like this, but so far we have no secrets and don't have personal things that we're not comfortable of sharing. Friends, don't you think that my bestfriend's husband is too much. What could that very personal thing be so personal to share to a wife?
1 person likes this
@babyseraph (114)
•
2 Nov 07
I think it can work both ways. If you trust your partner, you won't have a need to go into their phone. I have nothing to hide but if I caught my boyfriend going through my phone I'd be hurt that he thinks I have something to hide or that he doesn't trust me.
I trust my boyfriend 100% so have no need to look through his phone. Your friend should ask herself why she has the need to look through her hubby's phone and what it is she think's she'll find. If she trusts him and has no reason to believe he's doing anything wrong, then she won't need to look at his phone... she should also understand where her hubby is coming from. He's probably a bit hurtand defensive at her need to peek into his private space.
I do think phones class as private space just like mail, weather postal or email.
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
She has insecurity she admits, she had doubts because her husband is a seaman working in an international ship that would dock anywhere around the world, they haven't got the chance to spend more time together since he has to aboard the ship 2 months after they got married...
1 person likes this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
4 Nov 07
I do hope so too... thanks for the advice my friend.
1 person likes this
@babyseraph (114)
•
3 Nov 07
That's a shame, must be really hard for her! I hope they manage to build up their trust and don't let it ruin their relationship
2 people like this
@Zelmarq (12607)
• Cebu City, Philippines
11 Nov 07
A cellphone is something personal and i dont agre to those whor ead others messages. Even with my boyfriend's cellphone I tyr not to be evasive, its just a matter of having respect for the person and its really important to have that. If the other person does not want you to read the messages the you have to respect that, and for me it should not be a source or enough reason to fight.
@julianarw (1521)
• Netherlands
2 Nov 07
For me, i don't mind my husband read my messages from my cellphone before me. Why? Because usually i got SMS from my family and friends. My husband not understand my language :) I speak bahasa Indonesia and he speak Dutch ^_^
usually if i got messages from my cellphone and i don't hear that, my husband just bring my cell phone to me and say there is messages come for me. That's it.
1 person likes this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
7 Nov 07
Awww... that is so sweet of him juliana c",) i admire couples with different nationality and language and yet loving each other so much... i see love in there and trust.Congratulations c",)
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
I do respect your decision my friend... thanks for responding c",)
1 person likes this
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
yeah same here cupid, i've got nothing to hide from my partner. A good thing, right? no doubts, just trust and love...c",) tc always dear
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
11 Nov 07
hi there :) i definitely wun mind my partner looking at my msgs and stuff because we are supposed to share everything :) plus if we have nothing to hide, wat privacy is there to talk about?? and i do allow my partner to answer my call for me.. hehe
@mycharm88 (2288)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
I think you have a very jelous partner!c",) is that ok with you? tc friend
@buliangxianren (425)
• China
3 Nov 07
there is no persomal here. but you fell unconfortable if other \s do that.
@navincp123 (442)
• India
3 Nov 07
hi, even i dont like people who read the messages on my phone. i hate people who do it. i never try reading the messages on other peoples phone either.people may have a lot of personal things in heir messages that they may not wish sharing.so its better not to read it.
@Ladygothyka (6)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I usually odnt mind anyone seeing my messages unless its around the holidays then i tend to watch otehrs like a vulchur since i dont want anyone to spoil holiday gifts lol.
