do you think you are being judgmental?

"but I also treat everyone equally as I believe that looks can be deceiving and everyone deserves a chance to prove your first opinion of them is wrong." i do that with some people, too. i give them the benefit of the doubt. however, for some, i easily get annoyed, such as nosiy people in a commuter vehicle. i also don't like showy people. these are strangers and therefore are not given the privilege of proving themselves to me. hehe anyway, if these were my friends, i would give them several chances too. but there are a couple, who continually prove me correct and therefore, i continually judge them. the problem is, i am the one being troubled because i know it is wrong. and with one of the other person, my relationship with her is strained. so sad... no that i would really like to be close to her because she can be abusive. when you are close with each other, she would call you for hours on end, as if you have nothing better to do with her time. she asks for advice and when your advice is not in tuned with what she wants to do, she would feel bad and ignore you and pretend that she doesn't know you. then she would tell her boyfriend that your counsel is not wise. she has a way of distorting things and she has done this to me several times over the years. and she feels really snobbish now, feeling like a stranger in church, because she thinks she is above us because she is going to marry her rich boyfriend. ohhhh...that's enough. i am getting carried away already. lol

I don't think you are being judgemental with this friend. You are treating her the same as any other friend and she is just throwing it back at you and acting superior which is upsetting to you. It is not judgemental to limit your contact with people who will only try to bring you down to make themselves feel better. My Mum taught me how to deal with people who ask for advice but don't really want it. You give them their options and the consequences of these options then ask them what they want to do. This has helped me in the past to avoid getting into the situation you are now in. Now I have two questions for you.... How will it affect YOUR life if you lose this person as a friend? and How will it affect YOUR life if you stay friends with this person?

No, it is judgement, because you have to make those judgement calls in order to survive.

hi rogue! come to think of it, you are quite right. but maybe in decision-making, that is wisdom and not judgmentalism at work? what do you think?

"I do not reveal my pre-judgment to anyone (keep to myself) and I also do not allow it to affect my attitude towards certain things, issues or people." good for you. sometimes i can't help it, but i do express disdain over people. it may not be verbally, but at least in my actions or facial expression. i know i am not perfect, but it is so easy to pass judgment on others...sigh

None of us is perfect. You do not have to be so harsh on yourself. So long as we try our best to be as perfect as we can, it's good enough. =D