Do men fall in love or do women fall in love?

I am sorry for your bad experience, but thankfully you have not married her. Otherwise it would have been even worse. So, you are geetting wiser at this stage and if only you had got married thiswisdom you will have paid a heavy price for attaining it. But, this experience may have taught you where you made your mistakes-I feel this is where women are quick learners[they are survivors and have a huge responsibility because ,they, in many cases [as in the example of the animal or bird kingdom]are responsible for the future generations. Your feelings were portrayed by that character in the film where though he did not have a longstanding relationship, he was affected badly. Despite being an uneducated fellow, he goes to the court and pulls her out for justice. It was a different and commendable theme, though cinematic. All the best for your career and future!

Thanks a lot for your response.I was really happy that this sordid experience has not affected you in your career. You have also asked me for my views on the subject. This is one topic where there is so much scope for discussions, arguments[ mud-slinging ,if either gender is unable to take it objectively ]. Don't you agree? Coming back,I have found out that in any relationship it is absolutely essential to define the relationship. There should be'give and take 'and it must be equal.Otherwise one will end up as in the joke '' By all means marry. if it succeeds , you are happy. If it fails, then you become a philosopher. " Then you would have heard about the story of Socrates too[the rain episode] This is a digression for the sake of light relief on such a serious topic. Defining relationships is what is relevant.Defining relationships takes us to reciprocity wherein a person is willing to love the other irrespective of anything else[ALL STUPID MINOR FOIBLES] especially when you know that the person is caring. I find your gf's behaviour very fickle and there was not much depth in it. The fight was only an excuse. Probably she had other expectations that she did not reveal and when she sensed that you could not meet up to this, she just left. Another important factor is her age. She is young and is full of expectations for herself. But, she does not hesitate to cut once she makes up her mind. You still do nurture it in your heart though thankfully you have not let it affect you. Men , poor things do have as strong feelings and emotions as we women do but we talk a lot and discuss a lot and give the picture of being emotionally weak. This is all ok. But whether men should not at all get into longstanding relationships is something I cannot agree to. First of all,you should ensure that there is reciprocity and one should not invest too much in a relationship with wishful thinking for too long. Once you are sure that both are in equal mutual need then this relationship can evolve into some deep bonding. Till then , you need not get too involved deeply[like our Legendary Devdoss]. Age is a factor for both. When the girl is older, she is more practical and would know what is best for her. She will not take rash decisions in the name of practicality. Once you are very sensitive to the other person's expectations you can clearly state what you are capable of giving[giving is not money here but so many other intangible things--like time, attention to small detail etc etc..,]There must be understanding and identity of thought. if there is no total identity of thought there must at least be a 'live and let live policy.' You were kind enough to ask me if your views are right or wrong and that is why I have you this long winded answer. I am sure others will have something more to say on this subject.

hey thanx for the concern kalav...... I really appreciate it. By the way my carrear is going good..... it never affected me carrer wise actualy. I was emotinally torn apart but then someone up their took good care of my carrer in that phase!!! All is kinda fine... still bother me sometimes but not so much, hardly does it even count! By the way what you feel about my answer is it rite or are ther more aspects to it?

Thank you all for your responses. My question was about who really carries this feeling of love to heart. Women are supposed to be emotional , sympathetic and caring. Men are rational human beings. This is what many think. But there arise different views on this and that is why I posted this discussion. While I agree that relationship is a two way street who is really the stronger when it comes to dealing with matters related to the heart?

hi kalav, no men and women are stronger emotion wise but the time and the situation makes them stronger, i have always seen that these days if the girl is emotionally attached to the guy the guy betrays and so is the case vice-a versa..i have seen both the cases wherein the guy kicks the girl and the girl has to recover may be she takes alot of time to recover and come out of that relation and same is with men as even its difficult for a men to come out of it as they cant even cry while a women can oftenly shred tears. while if you talking about proposing i feel that depends upon the situation as if the girl really loves and is extrovert than wont think much and would immediatley propose the guy.

yes even i feel so its better to have a two way love rather than being one sided

I don't completely agree with your statement. I think that you would find that there are just as many men who take time to decide or are "scared and tentative" when it comes to making a decision especially one such as committment or love. I think you have given both men and women a lot less credit by making such a blanket statement. If only things could be so cut and dry- maybe we could really understand each other so much better. However, I believe that women and men are quite similiar. I do believe that overall and in general women and men do think very differently, but to go so far as to say that "all women" or "all men" think this way or the other is a bit of a stretch. I have met emotional men and logical, straight forward, get to the point women. And actually in my experience- often times it is the women who tend to think more logically and as you say "reason" who tend to have a more difficult time deciding what they want. The women who tend to be more emotional tend to just know what they feel, express how they feel and act on those feelings. Trust me being a woman who sometimes is extremely emotional and other times tries to deal with things logically I know. Whenever, I am making a decision based on emotions- I tend to act right away vs. when I sit back and think about something and logically work it out. Because when I do that I tend to play out all possible scenarios and overthink everything instead of just going with what my gut feels or my heart feels.

I agree with your statement that the world is much more complicated than what it would have been 50 years ago. Nowadays, with more and more nuclear families in our country we find that both boys and girls have different expectations and less tolerance levels and that is why so many things happen in relationships, marriages etc..,

I do not know what guys prefer. But, in an age where there is so much of talk about gender discrimination and equality and where women have proved to the world that gender cannot mar a person's achievements and can in no way, hinder them, in this also , I am sure there is no stopping this equality concept as long as the cards are laid on the table in a straighttforward manner and what the expectations from a relationship are clearly understood and stated.