starting over

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well it's been over 10 years and nothing has changed he still didn't make me his wife and there's the occasional pyhsical abuse that recently resulted in me going to the hospital twice this week because he kicked me in the side thank god i only had a bruised rib, i am scared but i am more scared of being a victim and i am trying to find a way out everyone has told me to leave and don't tell anyone where i am but i'm wanting to make this easy on everyone but i don't know how or who to trust, toghether everything is ours but it's really his car he pays the bills and section 8 pays the rent and i have nothing it wasn't like this before i was productive and loved life and learning, but since the abortions and moving i feel lost it's hard in indiana i don't have a degree or family to help with daycare so how can i not be dependent on him, i want to go to my pastor but i'm scared of being exploited for who i am. and then i will have no one to turn to. but i must do this for all women